Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset my dd and I are bridemaides but she does not want her for the rest of the day

72 replies

sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 20:26

Really upset and torn, DD and I have been asked by friend who I have known for 4 months to be bridemaids,me and dp and ds and dd ask to the whole day now my friend has said after the church no children, becuase of cost etc, which I understand.
However Im really upset as I feel my daughter is their to do her part and then Its like see you later.
Aibu to say I would rather she was not bridemaid aibu.
Im still happy to be her Bridesmaid but I have to take myself to 3 venues within the day, arggh I feel let down am I being unresonable.

OP posts:
Mongolia · 02/03/2010 21:19

WHAT??? Right height, right coloured height??? say no, and move to another neighbourhood IMMEDIATLY!

LOON ALERT

Mongolia · 02/03/2010 21:20

right cooured HAIR, I meant to say...

MadamDeathstare · 02/03/2010 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BariatricObama · 02/03/2010 21:22

sometimes mn is like a magic door to a parallel universe

MadamDeathstare · 02/03/2010 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 21:27

FIDPW there is nothing else to itI promise ,I feel like a fool and feel bad but I have spoken to my dad he said tell her that you and dd daughter tomorrow will be stepping down and wont be bridemaids sorry but she should find someone else what do you think?

OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 02/03/2010 21:34

What age is your dd? Does she want to be bridesmaid? I would make an excuse like your dd being too shy, getting stressed about it etc. if that's feasible. Yes, you should be able to tell her right out that she is taking the piss, but as she is a neighbour and a loony to boot, I think I would try to find a way of getting out of it without upsetting her! (But I would find a way out of it!)

lal123 · 02/03/2010 21:36

or dye your hair/eat lots of cakes/stop eating lots of cakes so you no longer fit the theme????

BitOfFun · 02/03/2010 21:38

If you don't want to do it, and it's upsetting you, say no. Personally I wouldn't be upset, and my dd would love the main event and be chuffed to be asked but happy to skip the boring evening of speeches and adults getting pissed. But it's not about me- it's how you feel that counts, and you have to go with that.

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 21:39

She is two years old my dd , I feel so awful my dp and everyone is peed and said so and has said tell her bye bye nicely.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 02/03/2010 21:56

Well, just let her know that it's inconvenient and make sure you charge her properly for the food then, I guess.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/03/2010 21:56

No way. Is she paying you to do the food? Are you doing all of it? Have you any idea how much work will be involved in preparing the food, getting you and DD ready, going to all the venues, only to have to take her home again? You are being taken advantage of big time. I'm surprised you even got an invite after 4 months of knowing her - she is taking the piiiiiiss!

You have to back out of this, somehow.

radstar · 02/03/2010 22:02

Definitely don't do it - she is using you and your dd, you won't enjoy it if you are alrady having doubts now

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 22:02

Bump
How do I get out of this please help me mn?

OP posts:
Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 22:19

Right made my decision tell her the truth no holds barred, mean maybe but so is she,no real friend would do this no matter how long you have known them , I will not allow out dd to be a prop seen and not heard,
have nothing to lose so will tell her in the next few days and will tell the truth.
Speak to you then with a update.

OP posts:
NeedLawadvice · 02/03/2010 22:21

WTF How can your DD not go to the rest of the day because she cant afford it, when you are paying for the food?

She most certainly is a user and if you let her away with this then the demands will keep on coming.

If you think she will be calm then tell her to her face that it's to much pressure on you to be bridesmaid, mummy, chauffeur (ferrying your DD in and out of wedding) and chef for the day and that you would prefer to attend the wedding as guest.

If you think she will blow up then either tell her over the phone or email her.

I'm a wimp I'd email her.

bubblerock · 02/03/2010 22:21

Just tell her a cousin is getting married the same day and you are going to the wedding as family is more important, then book a nice weekend away?? OR just tell her to get lost?

Original poster
sugarandsweetness · 02/03/2010 22:22

Thank you to everyone for your valid input.

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 02/03/2010 22:22

I think you have no choice. Tell her that you agreed before you realised what it all involved and you have had second thoughts-and it just won't work.

Mongolia · 02/03/2010 22:23

Tell the truth, that you feel somewhat offended that given you are getting into the extra work of making the day special for her, you feel a bit off at her not wanting your girl around after church, and for that reason you and your family preffer not to attend.

Wish her a good day, and that's it.

kalo12 · 02/03/2010 22:25

book a holiday. avoid the wedding. if you feel that you can't let her down now after knowing her four months, imagine how you will feel once you have bonded over the garter fixing and prosecco moment. run for the hills or catch chicken pox

MunchkinsMumof2 · 02/03/2010 22:26

My dd was bridesmaid at my brother's wedding and had to go home after the service and my ds was not even invited........and that was family!

LynetteScavo · 02/03/2010 22:30

Do you have a "rent a bridesmaid" sign over your front door?

If not, then you are so not being unreasonable.

WingedVictory · 02/03/2010 23:13

Talk about a backhanded compliment - to be told you are pretty by such a HAG.

porcamiseria · 03/03/2010 10:14

sorry but what a selfish CUNT!!!! I am fuming on your behalf

disgusting behaviour, YANBU AT ALL

god this thread and others make me never ever want to go to a wedding again

Look you have survived with this bitch for many years, you've only known her 4 months, GET RID

Please trim this selfish bitch

gosh this has annoyed me and I dont even know you!!!!