to tell DS#1 that he just has to suck it up

[OrmRenewed]

when lads tease him about his hair (specifially having to tie it back during PE). He was upset about this which was horrible, and I will worry about him all day But it's his choice to have it long. he doesn't want it cut.

It isn't bullying is it? It's just normal stuff that happens? Yes the kids are arseholes and if I came across them I'd tell them so. But it's just ordinary cut and thrust of school. Isn't it?

Yup.

They will tease about anything.

If he gets it cut to avoid teasing, he'll get "Hair Cuuuuut! Hair Cuuuuut!"

Don't fret, your son has chosen to have long hair and so he has to deal with the fact that he might get a bit of stick for it at school.
Normal boys' behaviour - if it bothers him that much, he can choose to cut his hair!
If he doesn't want to cut his hair then he needs to stop being upset when peers comment on it.
fwiw if he wasn't bothered by their comments, they would probably stop commenting. Kids are horrid but if they don't get a reaction they usually stop bothering as it's not as much fun

OrmRenewed..YANBU but i can understand you both being upset.

i imagine he's 11 or 12 so it's his decision not to have his hair cut. The kids at that age will pick on anything that's even slightly out of the norm (like having red hair).There is a sort of bullying like this everywhere.

My ds is 8 and loves to be a bit different, recently wore a fame style hair band to school....I had assumed he would remove it before he got there...anyway he was rather upset that children teased him. I explained that unique and different are brilliant and Mummy will always support your choices, however you have to have a strong mind and thick skin to get away with being different.

YANBU.

Ok. Thanks. So I'm not being mean and uncaring then....

my ds has giner hair and he is 9yo. I always knew he would get teased because ginger is different. I think he actually rather likes being ginger as hes unique. He repied to one lad - id rather be a ginger than a minger!!!!! I was sooooo proud

sorry about the spelling, thats ginger and replied!

No 'cos it's obvious that you do feel for him.

YANBU

I also have a 10yo haircut-refuser. He copes with the teasing atm but secondary school beckons.

if it wasnt the hair they would find something else im sure

Thanks pp, I try (though at times he makes it difficult )

He's 13 so in Yr8. I think teasing went on in primary but it was a smaller class so unless it crossed the line into real bullying, it was more or less good-natured.

My 8 year old ds still wears nail varnish to school most days and loves Mama Mia, has a Marilyn Monroe poster, mug and T-shirt. When the kids had to dress as superheroes at school he made one up (Wind woman). Most of his friends are girls.

It's tough for him at school. He gets teased but has made the conscious decision to put up with it because he is who he is. He has lots of good friends, which helps.

I worry for him and have been on here several times for advice and to air my fears. These days I don't think so much about it because he's 8 now and really knows his own mind. I can't and wouldn't stop him going to school with nail varnish etc. I no longer wonder if I ought to be 'protecting' him against these fools and sheep.

I'm very proud of him and I tell him so regularly.

He is what he is. He is his own special creation.

< wells up a bit >

He refused to talk to DD and me about it when he got home. But secretly admitted to DH that it wasn't 'that bad'. So hopefully it will get better each week now.

My ds used to go to school in sparkly hairslides and I always told him it was his choice, but he may not like the consequences. He didn't wear them for very long, but it was his choice at least and a good preparation for the majority of the world being narrow minded dull fuckwits.

Well at least you're living in the right town spidermama I still remember his fab birthday dress!