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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish I hadn't called my daughter Ruby?

211 replies

gonenative · 27/02/2010 23:23

When me and DH chose her name 6 years ago, we didn't know any Rubys (or any kids for that matter!) and liked the feisty sound of it. We actually thought we were being pretty original.

It was the MOST popular girl's name in 2007, 2nd in 2008, and there are 4 others in her year at school.

Am I being unreasonable to wish I'd called her something a bit less, well, common?

She has two lovely middle names and to my shame I've even asked her if she fancies being called one of these instead.

I know I'm being an awful snob, and I do still like the name but what do you all think?

OP posts:
lolapoppins · 27/02/2010 23:26

I think it's lovely.

I thought you were going to say your surname was Murray

hackneyzoo · 27/02/2010 23:27

Gonenative, YANBU. I gave my daughter a name that is extremely popular now, we were living abroad at the time and I had no idea. But at the end of the day I still love the name so have kind of let go of my anxieties about it. Plus Ruby is a great name

piratecat · 27/02/2010 23:27

I can totally understand why you feel it's the wrong name, if there seem to be lots of them! yet it is still an unusual name really, and maybe there aren't too many in her peer group?

There are no kids with my dd's name, I know of, but there has been a recentish 'celeb/star' with her name, and I always think 'oh please don't let it get popular'

Don't say anything more about her middle names, poor lamb, she'll be getting paranoid in the future!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 27/02/2010 23:27

I think you are being silly
she's 6, you can't change her name
It's a nice name, get over it! There were many many Katherines at my school but strangely these days I spend time with people who aren't exactly the same age as me so I don't have many Katherines in my life. Even if I did, I still like my name.

hippacrocadillypig · 27/02/2010 23:29

Ruby is a great name. I was one of four Hippacrocadillypigs at school (really!) and now I don't know a single one. No Rubys at my DD's school (Y1) so you'll probably find they dilute (if that's the right word!) as she gets older.

bibbitybobbityhat · 27/02/2010 23:31

Think how I feel - I chose the name Ruby for my dd 9 years ago - and Oliver for my ds 6 years ago!

Turns out I am as common as muck!

And dh and I both have EXTREMELY common names in our age group too .

WorzselMummage · 27/02/2010 23:32

I have a Grace, I know exactly what you mean.

She was almost a ruby too !

satc2bringiton · 27/02/2010 23:32

Ruby's a lovely name. My DS is 6 and there is only 1 in his year at school.

We named DS1 something fairly uncommon and then a celeb went and named her son the same a couple of years later - now there everywhere - is very annoying, so I know how you feel.

TrowelAndError · 27/02/2010 23:33

It is a nice name, which explains why there are so many of them, but I think it all depends on how she feels about being one of five Rubies. Does it bother her? Some children find the "Ruby D" "Ruby M" thing at school very annoying, some don't.

So YANBU to think about this but ... round here anyway, there have been dozens of Rubies for the last decade or so, so YwereBa bitU if you ever thought she'd be the only Ruby around. And YABabitU if you now dislike the name just because other people have chosen it too.

choosyfloosy · 27/02/2010 23:34

You could start calling her Roo and see if it sticks?

But tbh Ruby is so delicious that YABU. I know what you mean but you made a great choice.

BitOfFun · 27/02/2010 23:36

Thin of yourself as a trend-setter! My parents named me old lady-chic style after the aunt who helped bring my dad up- only to find the name had a complete renaissance a year or two later, and I am one of those children of the seventies that has to be identified in any given peer group by my surname's initial...them's the breaks.

duchesse · 27/02/2010 23:46

My nephew's cousin (keep up!) is called Ruby and she is nearly 12. I didn't know of any others then, but actually it seems to have become quite popular in the last 7-8 years. I know of another 6 yo Ruby incidentally.

Original poster
gonenative · 28/02/2010 00:08

Thanks ladies

I thought I was going to get a whole heap of vitriol coming my way for that post!

She doesn't seem to mind being one of the Rubies at school and I DO still like the name, just feel a bit unoriginal.

We went a bit the other with for her little sister, gave her a name you NEVER hear of, but now I worry that she's going to get teased for it.........aaaaargh!

Suspect I simply need to get over myself and start worrying about things that are actually worth worrying about.........

OP posts:
winniethetoothpaste · 28/02/2010 00:12

The mistake was in ever thinking it's possible to be 'feisty' or 'original' in naming a baby . Everyone ends up choosing from a similar small pool of names that aren't ruled out by being common in immediately preceding generations, or by being spoiled through the same set of celebrities using them, etc. It's a smaller pool than you think! And you've got a problem if you have to be original because a child's name isn't like a style of bag you can suddenly stop using because half the people on the street have suddenly got one!

Our generation may think of Ruby as an unusual, feisty name, because it's less familiar to us, but it has another angle: the 'classic, beautiful name' angle - a name from the set of gem and flower names that were popular a hundred years ago and are rising in popularity again now. So unsell it to yourself as original (it's not that much) and resell it to yourself as classic and beautiful (which it definitely is).

MillyR · 28/02/2010 00:14

It is weird that so many of us think we are choosing an unusual name and then it turns out that everyone else makes the same choice at the same time. DD has a name that is very similar to a top 30 name, but wasn't in the top 30 when she was born. I suppose we are all touched by the same cultural influences. I wish I had called her Mary. That is uncommon without seeming unusual.

cory · 28/02/2010 00:16

Well, you don't know who she's going to be going to school with in 5 years time, or working with in 20 years time. Change her name now, and 20 years from now she is bound to be working in an office with 5 other ladies with her middle name

My Mum changed her mind about my name when 3 other ladies on the maternity ward were going to give their babies the same name. I cannot actually recollect ever meeting a person of that name. However, there were several other girls in my class called by the name she did give me instead. Sod's law.

mrspoppins · 28/02/2010 00:23

She is a Ruby...it is a lovely name. Be happy!

MiladyDeWinter · 28/02/2010 00:24

I had no idea that Ruby was so popular, it's a gorgeous name!

I'm curious as to what her sister's name is now, bet it's lovely.

It's a difficult business this naming thing really, I had lots of potentials for DD but when she arrived I just knew, even though it was only a peripheral name which sprang to mind and suited her immediately.

She is the only T I know old or young yet it isn't an unusual name by any means.

Totally agree that Ruby is classic and beautiful

mrspoppins · 28/02/2010 00:24

go on then...what's the other name!!!!!

Original poster
gonenative · 28/02/2010 01:01

Nope, not going to reveal her sister's name I'm afraid, for fear of being outed!

OP posts:
maristella · 28/02/2010 01:02

Ruby is a lovely name
really, don't worry!

mrspoppins · 28/02/2010 01:08

meanie!!!!

seashore · 28/02/2010 01:49

Hi,hate to go against everybodies advice and support about stick with it, it's fine, I'm afraid Ruby is one of those super popular names that I just lump together - Jack, Emily etc, if she has good middle names, I'd consider a change. But since my kids are only 3 yrs and 8 mths what do I know about the possible hurt feelings it might cause?

Maybe she'd have to decide to do it herself, I know a guy who changed his name from Kevin to Barry, opting for his middle name which suited him much better.

shabbapinkfrog · 28/02/2010 01:59

FWIW I think its an amazing name. In 1967 when i started secondary school [dinosaur emoticon] I was the one and only Sharon in the entire school. Teachers pronounced it Shareon and nobody knew how to say the name.

Now, every TV programme has a 'slapper' called Sharon LOL - I really hate the name but my best friends little boy nicknamed me Shabba a few years ago and now that has stuck with me!!!

I now like being a Shabba!!! Ruby is a great name - please dont worry about it.

runnybottom · 28/02/2010 02:04

You can't change a 6 year olds name, especially as you think it makes you sound unoriginal! It makes you sound insane instead.

What has originality got to do with it? You were hardly going to be a trendsetter with a name popularised by the Victorians, there have been Rubies for a very long time. Obsession with originality for names is why we have classrooms full of Tiamii's and Soave, stupid made up and misappropriated names that may be original but thats not always a good thing.

I have a distinctive and unusual name and its not so brilliant trust me.

How about you forget about your childs name and instead focus on her abilities and personality?

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