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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish I hadn't called my daughter Ruby?

211 replies

gonenative · 27/02/2010 23:23

When me and DH chose her name 6 years ago, we didn't know any Rubys (or any kids for that matter!) and liked the feisty sound of it. We actually thought we were being pretty original.

It was the MOST popular girl's name in 2007, 2nd in 2008, and there are 4 others in her year at school.

Am I being unreasonable to wish I'd called her something a bit less, well, common?

She has two lovely middle names and to my shame I've even asked her if she fancies being called one of these instead.

I know I'm being an awful snob, and I do still like the name but what do you all think?

OP posts:
EccentricaGallumbits · 28/02/2010 10:40

i don't have a Ruby but DD2 was the only one of her name I had heard of. There are 4 in her year now. All spelled differently. So I know what you are saying. DD2 is nearly 12 though so a bit late to change it. We do shorten her name but then so does every one else with tis same name.

staranise · 28/02/2010 10:57

Wouldn't it feel really strange to start calling your child by another name after 6 years?

My name was v unusual when i was a child (I was the only one in a school of 1700+) - now my DD has four of them in her class (Y1) - i can't get used to my name being so popular but at least I don't have to keep spelling it!

Love the name Ruby and I'm sure your DD is individual enough to stand out. My DDs both have relatively unusual names and it's a bit of a PITA TBH, as you have to keep spelling them out, explaining the back story etc. MY DH wanted an unusual name for DS and I absolutely refused.

PlumBumMum · 28/02/2010 11:02

As BOF says I like to think I'm a trend setter
dd1 is 9 and the exact words of the midwife were AHH thats lovely you never hear those old names anymore,
now there is loads with her name and actually I blame Kerry Katona(how common is that

Marne · 28/02/2010 11:07

I like the name Ruby, i only know one Ruby, there are no Ruby's at dd's school.

Dd1 has a common name, Dh chose it as he likes simple names, i chose dd2's name 'Saffron' as it is a little bit different but not too different.

Ivykaty44 · 28/02/2010 11:10

don't worry the most popular name since 1837 is Elizabeth, followed by Mary and then Mary Ann - so Ruby maybe popular now - but it will not be in 5 years time

It is a beautiful name a timeless classic

MamaLazarou · 28/02/2010 11:17

YABU. It's a shame the name has become so popular after you chose it, but it would be madness to change it now.

This is why it's such a good idea to check the popularity lists (or mumsnet's name forum) before choosing! Before I named my son, I made sure that it wasn't popular. No-one I know has ever met anyone with the same name, but it's not made-up or outlandish either, and everyone knows how to spell it.

You have to do a LOT of research into a name in order to get a truly rare one. I must admit that this turned into a bit of an obsession for me (well, I had to start my mat leave early and was bored!).

JaneS · 28/02/2010 11:31

I love the name Ruby. At least you know it's tried and tested.

I wouldn't change her name - seems unfair to her and you'll get sniggered at by the teacher, surely? I hate my name (common-ish, there was always another one of us around in classes), but that's how it goes.

When I was at school in a class of under 30 we had 3 emmas, two gemmas, and a jenna. But the year above us have 5 emmas and 3 emilies! Eek!

Lovecat · 28/02/2010 11:31

Have to confess I don't like old-lady names - worked with a 22 yr old called Pearl about 15 years ago and she was a total beatch, so it put me off them!

Having said that, I don't think you should change your DD's name - I assume you chose it because you loved it and it suited her? The mere popularity of it at the moment shouldn't be an issue.

I was one of seven Catherines in my class, it never bothered me and I love my name now as I rarely meet anyone called it (unless they're my age, it was top two of popular names that year but in my parents defence they couldn't agree on names and that was their compromise choice - I could have been a Victoria or a Rosamund - think on balance Catherine was a lucky escape!)

oldandgreynow · 28/02/2010 11:34

I don't know any Ruby if that's any consolation.I really really don't think you should have said anything to your DD about it.
My eldest DS , now 17 is called Callum , at the time we hadn't heard of any callums except on 'All creatures great and small' and now there are a gazillion.
And remember lots of people choose a name because they all like it !I think you should have the courage of your convictions and go with what YOU like rather than worry about whether it is unique and classy enough.

TinyPawz · 28/02/2010 11:37

Boredom and curiousity got the better of me one day and I looked at the Office of Statistics to see how many children where given the same name as DD. There are less that 20 girls every year who have been given the same name. Mind you that is only the past 3 years so maybe her name will become wildly popular......hopefuly not tho.

Ruby is a lovely name

notnowbernard · 28/02/2010 11:37

I love 'old lady' names

Ruby is just gorgeous (clearly popular for a reason!)

I also love Pearl. And Violet. Unfortunately these names just wouldn't go with our surname, and we have a Violet in the family already

Guad · 28/02/2010 11:39

Well I called ds1 Harry and then the first Harry Potter came out later that year and now there are millions of them.

He is who he is though, and we still like the name. His best friend is also called Harry which for some reasn is not confusing!

vjg13 · 28/02/2010 11:39

I love the name Ruby. We have a hen called Ruby Tuesday.

RubyBuckleberry · 28/02/2010 11:43

i love the name ruby! if i had a daughter, i'd love to call her ruby .

kitkatsforbreakfast · 28/02/2010 11:45

It is possible to change your name, and for people to accept it. I knew someone, my mum's age, called Tracy, then in the early 1980s she began to loathe it so much that she started calling herself by her middle name, and asked everyone to do the same. It took a while but nobody calls her Tracy any more. She was in her 20s/30s when she changed.

And I have another friend who, at about 7 or 8, didn't like her 'boring' first name, and changed to her middle name. Only her dad calls her by her original name.

I don't have a problem with your point that you don't want your dd to be one of many of the same name. Of course it doesn't mean she isn't unique, but if you chose a name because you thought it would be a bit unusual, and it isn't now, then you could feel a bit miffed.

But you would find it difficult to change if she didn't want to do it.

LostArtOfKeepingASecret · 28/02/2010 11:50

Oh, Ruby is a lovely name, don't change it. DD has a very admired name (I hate the expression 'common' !) But we still don't come across that many. I think you are probably 'listening out for it' IYSIM.

Having said that, a school friend used his middle name because there was an of 'mikes' in our class!

For what it's worth, my friend searched for an unusual name for her DS, only to find that there are 3 others at the same nursery!

Kneazle · 28/02/2010 11:52

I only know one Ruby and it is my favorite girls name.

Aduby · 28/02/2010 11:58

I also have a 9yr old Ruby and have to honest and say I too hate how popular it has become. I knew from the start it wasnt as original as I first thought though as there was another baby born on the same night, at the same hospital not only called Ruby, but also with the same second name! I do still LOVE the name and would not ever change it.

RoseWater · 28/02/2010 12:02

Ruby is a lovely name.

Don't a lot of teens go through picking their own nickname or changing the spelling themselves anyway.

I certainly remember a phase at our school where everyone changed i to y or ee / incorporate hearts in the dots etc and I thinkn lots of teens do the same nowadays from what I've seen on facebook

JazzieJeff · 28/02/2010 12:08

My Mum decided to give me a 'different name' and called me Harriet because she said that because her name is easily dated back to the 60's and she didn't want me to have that. To be frank, I'd rather she'd not have bothered trying to find such an unusual name; I'll not tell you my middle name because it's really weird and to be honest I'm embarrassed. I'd rather she'd have gone for something pretty and dainty like Ruby or Sarah or whatever. Harriet doesn't suit me at all and I think that in her quest for a different name, she actually ended up going for something that neither she, nor I even like that much! I think you should be proud that so many other people reflected your good taste by calling their baby Ruby; I've met a total of 2 other people with my name in my life!

ShowOfHands · 28/02/2010 12:19

I picked out aged 4 what I would call a dd if I ever had one. I've never liked another name more and accordingly we named dd.

Now it's all over the place because of the surge in popularity of old lady names. The nickname she chose for herself I never hear though and I adore the name so them's the breaks.

Of course it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things but it is mildly irritating. It's like turning up to a party in your new, much loved dress and 2 other people are also wearing it.

I have never met another person with my name although there is another MNer with it.

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 28/02/2010 12:31

I don't know any Ruby's so it can not be that common a name.

Your DD is a unique person in her own right, even if lots of other people have the same name.

MamaLazarou · 28/02/2010 12:53

Harriet's a brilliant name!

SeaTrek · 28/02/2010 12:57

Norma - I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about Hermione. That seems to be getting rather popular round here! Maybe because of Harry Potter....

deliciousdevilwoman · 28/02/2010 13:02

Ruby is lovely. I am biased though, as I have a beautiful, fiesty, 16 year old niece named Ruby, and I helped choose her name. It's a name that "grows" with the stages, ifyswim.

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