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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that in a shopping centre on a busy Saturday

103 replies

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 15:55

toddlers (and I mean ones that are really still tottery) should be kept in their pushchairs instead of being allowed to get out? It's stressful enough shopping on a busy weekend without having to walk at a snail's pace behind a toddler walking along with two oblivious, dewy-eyed parents watching adoringly as their offspring falls over for the hundredth time.

There are plenty of places to let small children wander, shopping centres at a weekend are not one of them!

OP posts:

Fimbow · 27/02/2010 16:02

I know what you mean. Could we also ban dottering old ladies normally in pairs who suddenly just stop dead, causing you to nearly crash into them. Or people having conversations in the middle of the main walking areas. Gah, just ban everyone!

Not that I frequent the Next sale that often, but there is hardly any room to move and buggies blocking up the aisles is a pita.

cyb · 27/02/2010 16:04

You need to slow down and stop racing eveywhere. We can learn a lot from doddery folk.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/02/2010 16:09

Nice if you've got the time to BE doddery, cyb. Not fun if you are in a hurry for a perfectly valid reason.

Original poster

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 16:15

I am quite an impatient shopper but today I was literally doing pigeon steps. i just think it's inconsiderate and inappropriate when it's really busy. On a quiet Thursday afternoon, go for it, but not weekends.

OP posts:

galadriel77 · 27/02/2010 16:16

YABU. Not a lot - but a bit unreasonable.

That might have been a toddler who hated being in the buggy and would be SCREAMING at the top of their lungs to be let out. Then you would be moaning on here about screaming toddlers while you're trying to do your shopping!

They have as much right to be there as you do. However - I would expect the parents to try to make sure that the toddler was not completely blocking the way!

LisaD1 · 27/02/2010 16:21

I'm not really sure why a person without children has more right to be in the shopping centre than the person that has?

Why should the child be strapped in a buggy just so that your shopping experience is what you want?

Just walk around child and carry on at the pace you want.

My DD2 is NEVER in her buggy when we go shopping, she has legs and wants to use them! We do of course try to keep her from getting in people's way but it's not always possible and actually I find other people are much more rude/less considerate than either of my DC. The amount of people that walk into my DD1 (10) or let doors go on her/don't say thank you when she holds a door for them etc is quite shocking.

Original poster

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 16:28

I had my 3yo and 10mo with me at the shops this morning. 3 yo was itching to get out of his pushchair, but I told him that it was too busy so he had to stay put -as I have done since he was much younger, so he knows that's the rule. Not everyone thinks that little children are the cutest most endearing things ever, and I don't think it's right to cause unnecessary inconvenience to people just because I don't want to risk upsetting my child by daring to tell them they can't do something.

it's not about who's got more right to be in a place at a time, it's about showing consideration to other people, which everyone should be doing IMO, not just those with children.

OP posts:

LisaD1 · 27/02/2010 16:33

That's part of the problem though vinomum, with society as a whole I mean, not you!

Most people do not consider other's. When I used to take DD2 in the buggy we could hardly ever get in the lift because it was full of young, seemingly fit, people, with no children with them and we had to lug the damn buggy up the escalator which I find really hard as I have a bad back. This is one of the reasons I no longer shop with the buggy, it's a lot easier, for me, to get around without it.

PanicMode · 27/02/2010 16:42

I think tolerance has to work both ways. We rarely go to shopping centres at a weekend, but my DS2 HATES being in a buggy and screams if he's restrained for too long. So, we let him potter about - and try our hardest to stop him cannoning into people. As someone further up the thread said, there are plenty of people who are far less well mannered (often with much older children) who barge through, don't acknowledge doors being held open, cannon into my children without apologising - which we always do if we don't quite get to DS2 quickly enough - so I think everyone should be a bit more tolerant of each others' right to be there.

Some couples work full time - so they can't be in a shopping centre at your convenience - ie not at a weekend.

BAFE · 27/02/2010 16:43

YABU - why don't you go shopping on a Thursday afternoon when its quiet?

hf128219 · 27/02/2010 16:50

YABVU. It's a free country.

Original poster

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 16:51

I'm not saying that people with young children should be banned from going shopping at the weekends. I also completely agree that there are a lot of people who are far more inconsiderate than parents with toddlers, but why add to the general mayhem and confusion in a shopping centre by letting your kids roam about?

I don't want to fall or run over someone else's child, nor do I want anyone to fall or run over mine. If you have no choice other than to take small kids out shopping on a weekend, then why not just do your bit to reduce everyone's stress levels?

OP posts:

mamsnet · 27/02/2010 16:53

And, as a mother of a toddler who needs to walk SOMEWHERE on the umpteenth bloody rainy day in a row..

Maybe there is nowhere else?

Original poster

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 17:02

Well Mamsnet, how about sticking on a mac and some wellies and letting them run around a park for half an hour?

OP posts:

dolphin13 · 27/02/2010 17:02

Blimey, yes you are unreasonable. Why don't we go the whole way and lock the evil, disruptive creatures in a broom cupboard until they are able to fit into polite society.

dolphin13 · 27/02/2010 17:04

Blimey, yes you are unreasonable. Why don't we go the whole way and lock the evil, disruptive creatures in a broom cupboard until they are able to fit into polite society.

hf128219 · 27/02/2010 17:06

Have you ever thought a parent might have to go shopping on a weekend?

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 17:08

YABVU
I think toddlers should have the right to toddle wherever it's safe, even if it means other people have to be considerate and slow down.
If you need to get past, just barge past one of the parents. They are unlikely to fall over easily. It's sad that small people are seen as such an inconvenience on so many occasions.

Original poster

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 17:09

HF128219 - have you ever thought about reading the entire thread?

OP posts:

Original poster

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 17:11

That's my point Goblinchild. IMO a busy shopping centre is not a safe place for a toddler to be walking around. That's why I don't let mine.

OP posts:

kinnies · 27/02/2010 17:11

Toddlers are people too!

I am pg, suffering from SPD. I cant walk fast atm and i try to keep out of peoples way but I have evry right to go shopping when I want. If I hold you or anyone else up then I'm sorry but its tough luck.
Same goes for my Dd. Shes 2yrs old and has shorter leggs than you. So what?!

twotimes · 27/02/2010 17:13

YABcompletelyU walk around if you can't be arsed to wait! my dd has been out of the pram since she was 2 (not because I'm against toddlers being in them before somebody gets all hot and bothered), because I hate pushing prams on and off buses, in and out of shops with no room, waiting for escalators and hoping this one's empty or has enough room for me to fit the pushchair in. Go have a cup of tea and get over it.

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 17:13

But your OP was about being made to slow down because of a toddler with two parents watching every move. A very safe toddler.

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 17:15

A fit, healthy toddler who will have a good appetite and sleep well.
My two are teenagers. You know, the sort that get complained about for hanging around in shopping centres.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/02/2010 17:16

But surely theres nothing stopping you from walking around the child. You didnt need to stay behind it tutting and huffing and puffing.

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