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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that in a shopping centre on a busy Saturday

103 replies

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 15:55

toddlers (and I mean ones that are really still tottery) should be kept in their pushchairs instead of being allowed to get out? It's stressful enough shopping on a busy weekend without having to walk at a snail's pace behind a toddler walking along with two oblivious, dewy-eyed parents watching adoringly as their offspring falls over for the hundredth time.

There are plenty of places to let small children wander, shopping centres at a weekend are not one of them!

OP posts:
GhoulsAreLoud · 27/02/2010 18:39

Vinomum now what are you on about? No one said you were wrong to keep your child in a buggy.

There's very little chance of my DD being snatched when she walks along in a shopping centre holding both my hand and DH's either.

allaboutme · 27/02/2010 18:43

but WHY do other peoples needs (wants?) get priority over the toddlers need to walk rather than sit?
Is my desire to find a new dress for Saturday night without being delayed by walking behind a slow toddler so much more importanat than a toddlers desire to walk instead of sitting in the buggy? Walking is good for kids! They dont choose to go shopping and sitting in the buggy is so much more boring for them. Is it really worth making them have a miserable day to allow some adult to get their shopping done quicker?

LittleMrsHappy · 27/02/2010 18:48

YABU!

you want to get your things done over everybody else's life quickly so your thinking that everybody else should accommodate you, so you get things done quickly!

Id rather a happy child, then one who was screaming at being left in a pushchair, just because everybody else wants overcomes theirs!

nellie12 · 27/02/2010 19:18

well I agree with op and activate. But then I'd rather have a child who wasn't getting stepped on and knocked over.

tbh I prefer to meet my toddlers needs for walking somewhere a lot better than shopping centres. like the park.

Original poster
Vinomum · 27/02/2010 19:21

Allaboutme - a dress for a Saturday night? I bloody wish!

You're right - children don't like shopping. My children don't like it - which is why I try to get it done quickly so we can get home and do something they will enjoy.

OP posts:
houseworkhater · 27/02/2010 22:03

YABU.

Stay at home yourself if you find it so stressful.

overmydeadbody · 27/02/2010 22:07

yabu

MillyR · 27/02/2010 22:18

I took DD shopping in Manchester today. The main shopping street was very hard to walk down due to children, old people, disabled people, street performers, people selling balloons and those weird furry snake things on strings.

I really liked that. A lot of shopping areas can be very dead and depressing. I like to see a slice of life.

I would suggest that if you or your family don't like shopping, and want to get it done in a rush, don't go on a Saturday, because many of us will be out having a great time, enjoying our weekends in a manner that doesn't include hurrying everywhere.

emsyj · 27/02/2010 22:33

YANBU. There's nothing worse than walking along behind a row of people (be they slow-moving adults, toddlers, teenagers or whoever) who insist on walking three abreast so that you physically cannot pass them. I find parents tend to do this - one either side of the toddler, plus a buggy, so that the entire shop aisle/walkway/pavement is blocked. I can't stand it, but you're wasting your time trying to persuade parents that it is inconsiderate - didn't you know the world revolves around their little darlings?

[No DCs yet as still pregnant and fully expecting to be the world's biggest 'my child is the centre of the universe' offender come June emoticon]

MrsPotiphar · 27/02/2010 22:35

agree with OP

frasersmummy · 27/02/2010 22:40

so toddlers should only toddle mon- thurs 10am-3pm??

Toddlers are people just like you except they are smaller. They are entitled to walk where and when they want.

Learn some tolerance!

Fruitysunshine · 27/02/2010 23:05

YABU.

I think some people view toddlers/elderly/disabled as "getting in their way". Perhaps it is those people who complain that need to be far more tolerant.

Because a couple choose to both hold a hand of their toddler does not make them egotistical - it makes them caring. Because they choose to take their toddler out on a weekend shopping does not mean they think the world revolves around their children at the expense of everyone else, it just means they are having a family day out.

Everyone is equal, regardless of age and ability. I don't think everyone else realises that judging by the amount of times my children have had handbags slammed in their faces, doors closing on them, or being pushed out of the way generally.

If you don't have the time, patience and consideration to walk around a toddler whilst in town when YOU know it will be busy with us egotistical families walking three in a row then YOU pick another day to do your shopping.

That way you are happy as there is no toddlers running around and we are happy as there will not be any mean adults silently seething at us inconsiderate parents and toddlers.

ouryve · 27/02/2010 23:39

Even if we have nothing much to buy, we take our kids for a good walk around our local shopping centre on a Saturday morning before we do our food shop on the way out, simply because it's somewhere warm, dry and free of traffic in which to stretch our legs. Our 6 year old is definitely happier for it. Our 3 year old is actually usually in his buggy, since he doesn't walk very well, but if he wants out, he can get out and you'll just have to walk around us and look where you're going!

If you don't like crowds, go shopping when it's quieter, or shop online!

2shoes · 27/02/2010 23:47

yabu
i bet you are the type who moans about people like me pushing wheelchairs,
why don't you stay at home?

sunnydelight · 28/02/2010 03:42

I do wonder if these indignant parents with toddlers will feel different in ten years time

Goblinchild · 28/02/2010 06:47

Well. I don't feel different about it, and it's over a decade since either of mine were toddlers.

FleurDelacour · 28/02/2010 07:04

I sympathise with Vinomum a bit. I hate being rammed by pushchairs as people don't watch where they're pushing them. Sometimes I have had my foot run over or have got muddy trousers from the wheels.

I don't mind toddlers, I think they're generally adorable, but I can't think why anyone would want to take them shopping. As a day out it is hardly a fun thing for children to do.

I developed an internet shopping habit when mine were small so I could avoid the shops. Now it is a pleasure to go shopping with my girls; we stop for coffee and chat. Bliss.

PS rucksack wearers who turn around and hit you in the face now they're another pain...

coralanne · 28/02/2010 08:25

It's not the toddlers who are at fault here. It's the inconsiderate parents.

I don't mind the toddlers who are toddling. It's the screaming toddlers I can't stand, while mums are chatting to each other while blocking the aisles at the same time.

After turning around and going back the other way a dozen times I usually give up and go home.

Admittedly this usually only happens at Christmas time or if I have to scrurry into the toy department to buy a present.

I actually havn't been shopping on a Saturday afternoon for years.

GhoulsAreLoud · 28/02/2010 08:44

Two adults holding the hands of one toddler is not enough to block anyone's way in the enormous shopping centre near my house! It is huge! There is room for everyone.

Egotistical? Try the OP who thinks that people who get in her way should be banned from shopping on Saturdays!!

Bumperlicious · 28/02/2010 09:05

'but I can't think why anyone would want to take them shopping. As a day out it is hardly a fun thing for children to do.'

I used to think like this however when I had my own daughter I realised several things:

  1. Sometimes there just isn't anything else to do with a toddler and going to the dry confines of a shop (I'm thinking specifically supermarkets here which I what I was particularly judgey about) is one of the only things to do

  2. Maybe the parent needs to go shopping and has no-one else to look after the child

  3. Maybe they are giving their other half a break

As for shopping centres being adult places, we have this big fish clock thing that blows at bubbles on the hour, tis very funny watching parents come careering out of shops with buggies as the music starts so their LOs can see the bubbles.

OP I can understand why you are pissed off, but I am sure there are plenty of other annoying characters in the shopping centre that you can pick on. Plus you have a voice so I am sure you can say 'excuse me' to the people who are holding you up and hurry along.

MrsPotiphar · 28/02/2010 09:07

yes toddlers shoudl toddle hten

nancydrewrocks · 28/02/2010 09:08

Gotta love a thread where the women suggesting that toddlers should be strapped in their buggy or left at home on a weekend accuse others of being egotistical.

GhoulsAreLoud · 28/02/2010 09:15

Bumperlicious we have one of those clocks! Ours is a frog though.

ImSoNotTelling · 28/02/2010 09:16

YABU

No wonder all the kids are getting fat.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 28/02/2010 09:21

My 3 year old DS loves shopping. He gives me his opinion on clothes and loves to look around the toy shops. We then go into costas for a coffee for me, warm milk for him and a comic to read together. The last time we did it on the way home he told me that he had really enjoyed his day. So yes I now drag him round the shop as often as possible!
I understand that this is very much the exception though. I hope he doesnt grow out of it, we have a lot of fun especially love the walking slowly infront of impatient people!