to ask her to move her pet?

[AsthmaStudent]

Erm, I'm a bit new to this, I'm not a mum so I hope its ok me posting here, a friend who is suggested it as I'm having a few problems with my housemate!
Bit of background, I'm a 2nd year student in a shared house away from home at university, I live with 4 other people, the other girl in my house has recently bought a rabbit. It lives on the upstairs landing about 8ft from my bedroom door and just outside her room (there isn't enough space in her room for it to live there)Our kitchen is pretty small and it has a large hutch so it can't live there but there would be space in the lounge.
However 6 days after she bought it, and after gradual, slight increase in wheeziness I had quite a nasty asthma attack, A+E, steroids, nebuliser etc. At first I thought it couldn't be the rabbit because I had one as a child but that one lived outside and I'd play with her for about 15 minutes a day outdoors. Of course im in near constant proximity to this rabbit so I'm fairly sure it is what is causing me to be very wheezy and short of breath. My peak flow is now about 240 (should be 450ish) and I'm waking up coughing a few times each night.

I asked if she would move the rabbit downstairs as it is making me ill but she refused. She suffers from depression and has had some quite traumatic experiences over the last few years, the rabbit is a sort of stress relief for her and calms her down, she like having something to look after and it has made her better from what I can see.

So I guess I want advice on what I can say to her to make her move it because its making me ill and I can't really afford the expensive prescriptions for my inhalers, steroids etc (my parents earn to much for me to be entitles to free prescriptions so despite earning the grand total of £18 pw from my part time job and being a full time student I still have to pay!)

Friend had told me you are all very lovely and will know exactly what I should say and how I should phrase it! Cheers! x

You could refer her to "fatal attraction".

Are you renting the house, and if so does she have permission to Keep a rabbit inside the house?

just come sraight out and tell her !!

you could get a prepayment certificate for your prescriptions?

your GP should be able to request a blood test for you to establish if you ARE allergic to rabbit, you may need to know what kind of rabbit. Could be not rabbit but rabbit bedding or feed or some other unrelated thing... causing your increased asthma symptoms.
Managing the politics of moving the rabbit? I'm not the best at that kind of thing. Check your tenancy agreement, are you even allowed pets in the house? In Many rented property's you are not.

I think she's being extremely thoughtless and inconsiderate not to move the rabbit. And that's coming from someone who adores animals and always has pets in the house as i find they help my depression too.

You can't help the fact that you suffer from asthma, it affects you as badly or worse than her depression affected her and what would help you right now, as much as getting the rabbit helped her, is for it not to be living 8 feet from where you sleep.

She'd still have access to the rabbit if she moved it elsewhere, it simply wouldn't be at the expense of your health.

Surely if she's determined enough to keep it and cares for it enough she could make space in her bedroom fgs?

we're not allowed pets, I mentioned this even before she bought it but I have to live here and I feel it would be quite obvious if the landlord popped round and asked her to move it and I have to live here until july!

How often does she clean it out?

I think it's pretty cruel to the animal - rabbits need space to run around in outside. What will she do in the summer? I would think the smell would be disgusting come July.

Pretty thoroughly on your side here. Go to the GP and see if you are allergic to the rabbit.

I'm afraid I would give her 2 choices, move the rabbit downstairs or I would tell the landlord who would make her move it permanently!

Your health must come first.

I'm an animal lover btw but they should never come before a person's health imo.

It sounds like you are being too nice here.
She's not allowed have the pet so you are quiet entitled to tell the landlord, but don't want to create bad feeling with housemate, I guess.
Yet she's not worried about creating bad feeling with you.
There is no easy way of sorting this if she is being unreasonable, but you do have right on your side.
So I'd advise explaining to her that the current situation can't continue. She can either make room for him in her room, move out with her rabbit to new accommodation, or figure out some other way for you to be healthy and happy. But it is her problem to sort out, not yours.
Keep mentioning that you "really don't want to get the landlord involved".

Get the prepayment certificate for starters. That's just bonkers that you are paying for this as and when you need it.

YANBU! If you were even only a little bit more wheezy as a result of that rabbit, I'd say something to her if I were you.

As it was you were seriously ill as a direct result of her keeping an animal that ought to be outside, inside.

Her buying a bloody rabbit fgs in a shared house is beyond lunacy, it's actually downright irresponsible, and that's without it actually causing another paying resident extreme physical distress, and real threat to your life.

She needs to move that rabbit, like today, and if that's an issue, she needs to move her arse and get another place to live....

Sit her down and say that tbh, the rabbit is making you seriously ill and she needs to move it, whether she likes it or not, as it's really not fair to endanger your life for the sake of her pet. Explain that you understand it might be hard for her to move the rabbit, but that it's hard for you to actually breathe.

TBH, talk to her nicely, but back it up with a comment to the effect that if she doesn't move the rabbit, you will tell the landlord and she will be asked to leave the house.

YANBU, a rabbit inside the house will stink the house out and there will be fur everywhere, no wonder you can't breathe. Poor you! welcome to MN btw!

I think you just need to be straight talking and honest.

I am allergic to the rabbit, it is making my asthma worse. It may cause me to die of an asthma attack. The rabbit has to go.

I bought hamsters when I was final year at uni and one of my housemates was allergic and had asthma so they lived in my bedroom rather than the lounge as we all had planned (she was on a different floor to my room) I cleaned it out in the bathroom and then cleaned the bathroom afterwards. However I would have rehomed them if it had continued to affect her.

totally agree with everyone who says you're in the right here. the tricky bit is how to get what you want/need without too much ill-feeling. is it possible one of the other housemates could help? would one of them approach her, and explain (again) why the rabbit needs to move?

Don't piss about, this is serious isn't it? You need to sit her down and tell her straight. Her thoughtless actions could kill you. The rabbit has to be moved, it's not fair keeping the poor thing in a hutch indoors anyway. I tell you what, show her this thread.
OK Rabbit Girl, keeping your rabbit could kill the girl you house-share with. Get it out of the house now.

another one who wonders why the rabbit is indoors? unless you never put on heating, it will be too warm, and not have enough space.

i kept dwarf rabbits (not very hardy) for years & only brought them in when very cold. i would let them run around in the hallway for quite a while so they could exercise, when weather was bad, otherwise they had a run outside.

just a hutch inside a house is not fair on the rabbit. she is selfishly ignoring your health & the rabbits happiness. ask her how her depression will be if you end up in hospital?

and can she afford to either be kicked out or pay the full rent on the house if you leave? otherwise, she HAS to change her behaviour.

well, I spent a lot of time in a bad houseshare, being v nice to people who you gave and inch and they took a mile. was the best thing I did when I decided to stand up to them.

So... you need to sit her down and tell her the rabbit moves, either to elsewhere in the house or you will call the landlord and have it removed totally. Tell her she has until 9am Monday morning as that's when you're calling the landlord. Then walk away, refuse to discuss it and make sure you call the landlord on Monday!

One thing to think about, if your landlord was to pop round and find the rabbit, would you all be thrown out? Is she risking all 4 of you being homeless because she wants a rabbit? Would your other housemates back you up to get rid of it if they realised?

Of course, in our 2nd year house things got so petty I'd have left a print out of this on the kitchen top when she was about to go out for say 1-2 hours....

"what I can say to her to make her move it" - if you going to A&E had no effect on her, nothing you say is going to get through, unfortunately. It has to be someone else, not you.

Have a private word with your university housing officer - there will be one, even if this is a private let. They will have come across this sort of thing (or variety) dozens of times before.

Have a private word, also, with whoever is responsible for pastoral care, completely on a confidential basis. If this girl is in such a shaky way that a rabbit is crucial to her well-being, I think she probably needs some more looking after (and, again, not by you - by people whose job that is).

Do do a double-check with your GP that it is the rabbit/its bedding that is setting you off.

How approachable and sensible are your other house-mates? Could they take the initiative and move the hutch to the living-room? Could any of them be so magnanimous as to change rooms with the pet-owner so she has enough space for the rabbit in her own room? (Indeed, I suppose if your room is bigger you could offer to swap - she would then be completely in your debt and you would never again feel you were being unfair.)

Re the housing officer - sorry, not clear, I wasn't meaning you get them involved, just that you get their advice, on a no-names basis.

she should move it! i had one inside and had to move it cause of the smell. it's not fair at it isn't yours!

i think they belong outside too.

I realise what you are all saying and it is quite reassuring to know I am judged to be in the the 'right' as it were however her mental health is very fragile, she does have counselling and she has a tempestuous relationship with one of our other housemates (ie best friends, sleeping together but not in a relationship yet frequently cries that she hates him...) in fact he is the one who paid for the rabbit and associated paraphernalia as she has literally no money as she insisted it would make her better...
She is very manipulative and tbh definitely not the person I thought she was when I signed this contract a year ago!

The icing on the cake is that while I'm forking ££££ for all this medication due to her rabbit she gets bl*y cake mix and pizza bases free as she is coeliacs and diabetic (tried comparing the rabbit to her having no insulin, this is not a valid comparison apparently)!!!!
I suppose it looks like I'm going to have to contact our landlord doesn't it? I just hate confrontation so so much and I'm not very good at it, I always seem to come out worsse off than when I went in!

Do you know anyone else with a spare room in their house? Could you tell the house that either the rabbit goes or they release you from the contract so you can move out?

Just coming back (indeed to say the same as CarGirl) - it's altogether a troubled situation, and you should see that housing officer with the aim of you moving out. You don't need any of this, and you've got a perfectly fair medical reason for the move now.

Other than this, are you happy in the house? You've got 2 housemates having an on-off relationship in the house, a rabbit that could kill you* and someone who has fragile mental health that you have to tip toe round. Could you get out of your contract and move elsewhere?

Don't discuss it, don't compare your condition to her's just tell her it's making you ill and you need it dealt with, either she can move it or you will get the landlord to do that on Monday, then she has all of tomorrow to get it moved and settled in it's new home.

Do you have a friend nearby who's floor you could sleep on this evening? I'd tell her and then walk out so you don't have to deal with any tears and tantrums to get her own way this evening.

*not every day I get to type sentances like that

She may be fragile in terms of mental health but this could kill you. Seriously. People do die of asthma attacks. I can't live with pets either and haven't come up in any tests as allergic, but nevertheless it affects my breathing quite significantly. Your PF is low if it is usually 450.
I'm afraid you need to just be straight with her and make her realise this is serious, not just you having a few sneezes. She shouldn't have pets anyway, if she wants them she should move somewhere she can have them
You do need to take control of this, all the best.