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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her to move her pet?

74 replies

AsthmaStudent · 27/02/2010 15:53

Erm, I'm a bit new to this, I'm not a mum so I hope its ok me posting here, a friend who is suggested it as I'm having a few problems with my housemate!
Bit of background, I'm a 2nd year student in a shared house away from home at university, I live with 4 other people, the other girl in my house has recently bought a rabbit. It lives on the upstairs landing about 8ft from my bedroom door and just outside her room (there isn't enough space in her room for it to live there)Our kitchen is pretty small and it has a large hutch so it can't live there but there would be space in the lounge.
However 6 days after she bought it, and after gradual, slight increase in wheeziness I had quite a nasty asthma attack, A+E, steroids, nebuliser etc. At first I thought it couldn't be the rabbit because I had one as a child but that one lived outside and I'd play with her for about 15 minutes a day outdoors. Of course im in near constant proximity to this rabbit so I'm fairly sure it is what is causing me to be very wheezy and short of breath. My peak flow is now about 240 (should be 450ish) and I'm waking up coughing a few times each night.

I asked if she would move the rabbit downstairs as it is making me ill but she refused. She suffers from depression and has had some quite traumatic experiences over the last few years, the rabbit is a sort of stress relief for her and calms her down, she like having something to look after and it has made her better from what I can see.

So I guess I want advice on what I can say to her to make her move it because its making me ill and I can't really afford the expensive prescriptions for my inhalers, steroids etc (my parents earn to much for me to be entitles to free prescriptions so despite earning the grand total of £18 pw from my part time job and being a full time student I still have to pay!)

Friend had told me you are all very lovely and will know exactly what I should say and how I should phrase it! Cheers! x

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 27/02/2010 17:41

ah, others have same idea of moving out.

activate · 27/02/2010 17:42

speak to your landlord I will bet that it's a pet-free place

she is being unreasonable and not you

AmazingBouncingFerret · 27/02/2010 17:58

I'd be tempted to rehome the poor thing whilst she is out but this is the hungover viscious ferret talking.

FakePlasticTrees · 27/02/2010 18:01

ABFerret, that's far kinder than my rabbit pie suggestion...

GrendelsMum · 27/02/2010 18:01

Perhaps the depressed rabbit owner should move in with the owners of the giant pram?

(Sorry, OP, this won't mean anything to you, but that was the last exciting controversy over shared hall-space here)

CarGirl · 27/02/2010 18:07

Or perhaps the rabbit could move into the room of the on/off boyfriend who bought the wretched thing?

tatt · 27/02/2010 18:12

I like pet rabbits. It does need grass, she could grow that in a pot. If she wants to keep it indoors she could have it in a smaller cage in her room but allow it to roam free around her room when she's there. Of course she'll need to rabbit proof any cables as they love to chew them but it's kinder than just being in a hutch all the time. It might then bother you less as it would be a little further away. It is possibly the hay used for bedding that is the problem, straw might be less of a problem.

Personally I'd seek to move out but if you can't then they either have to find a way to make the rabbit less of a problem or take it to the RSPCA.

2old4thislark · 27/02/2010 18:21

She's not going to move it whatever you say and however nicely you ask her. She's being a selfish cow who's using her mental health issues as an excuse. Your PHYSICAL health takes priority.

I would secretly tell the lanlord. Explain the problem and that it needs to be dealt with delicately.

IMHO rabbits and guinea pigs should be kept outside - where when I was a child, anyway.

msrisotto · 27/02/2010 18:25

Hi, I feel for you.

She knows the effect this has on your health and doesn't care, nice, I would present her with some options 1. Move the rabbit outside 2. Move the rabbit to someone his or her room. 3. remove rabbit from outside your room, don't care how or you shall call the landlord and threaten to move out if the rabbit is not removed. Plain and simple.

Heated · 27/02/2010 18:31

If you don't want to move yourself then tell her "Your rabbit has made me ill with serious breathing complications. I have been in hospital because of your pet and the doctor has said another attack could be fatal. You have to move your rabbit. You have until Monday (I am going to kip on the floor of a mate as I can't risk another attack)." If she refuses then inform the landlord and suggest she leaves.

Dislike with a passion ppl who are so selfish they make their problems your problems, so dish out the passive aggression yourself and see how she likes it.

BritFish · 27/02/2010 18:38

just tell her she needs to move the rabbit downstairs RIGHT NOW or you're calling the landlord.
even if she does have mental health problems she's still being a selfish stroppy little madam!

BrahmsThirdRacket · 27/02/2010 19:39

Wait wait wait. If you tell the landlord you might be held responsible for the rabbit being in there too, esp if it's a joint tenancy (most are). Does your student union have an advice centre? I would go there first.

The alternative is to leave her an anonymous note saying that if the hutch isn't moved, something unfortunate may happen to Mr Bunny... mwah hah hah.

GypsyMoth · 27/02/2010 19:43

call the rspca....rabbits shouldnt be in a warm,centrally heated building!

GerbilMeasles · 27/02/2010 19:45

Hmm, not convinced on the poor little fragile princess argument - she's clearly mentally robust enough to get her own way when she wants, even at the expense of someone else's health. Can some of your mates get together and nick the rabbit whilst she's out rehome the rabbit?

LunaticFringe · 27/02/2010 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kickassangel · 27/02/2010 19:56

good idea to contact the student union - they often have a housing person who is there to smooth things over. they may even know of someone who wants a house swap & won't mind the rabbit.

i know that depression is a serious condition, but not every depressed person uses it as a way to manipulate others & ignore the serious health issues of their housemates. that's just plain bloody selfishness on her part.

present her with the medical bills, and give her a dead line to have it dealt with. also, ask the other house mates how they will feel if you are all evicted due to the rabbit?

Linnet · 27/02/2010 19:56

I agree that you should tell her the rabbit has to go, it's not worth risking your health.

For those of you who are questioning the rabbit being inside, it's very common to keep rabbits as house pets. They can be trained to use a litter tray and so long as their hutch area is kept clean they don't smell.

ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 27/02/2010 19:57

I would have no hesitation in telling her the bunny goes outside or the landlord gets a phonecall. I speak as someone who lived with a complete nightmare of a housemate while at university who would steal cheese if you made a noise past 8pm (its a long story). Asthma is a serious condition, you could die. She won't die if bunnikins has to live outside. Therefore, you win. And, if the bunny is like insulin to her, tell her you could inject it where the sun don't shine if it would help.

groundhogs · 27/02/2010 19:59

Reading your subsequent post, I say No more softly softly. You've clearly had a conversation or more with her about it and she is not budging.

Go for it, unleash the (non-shedding, allergy friendly)dogs on her...

I had depression, for a number of years, am a suicide survivor, but I would never, in a bazillion years have knowingly endangered the life of another person.

Seriously, the best option would be for YOU to try and get out of there, the on/off thing, her tantrums and allergies, but not giving a crap that her idiotic decisions could kill you... argh, put some serious distance between you and them all - including Buggs.

bernadetteoflourdes · 27/02/2010 20:23

well said 2old4thislark! Just what I was thinking.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 27/02/2010 20:26

Oh, and bollocks to her mental health. It doesn't mean you get to walk all over everyone.

Lucyellensmumma · 27/02/2010 20:44

Do you know, i would move out if i were you - if that is at all possible?? I know that seems extreme but she wont move the rabbit and if you insist and inform the landlord she is going to be really shit to live with, that and the crappy relationship stuff going on, you don't need it.

Maybe put some feelers out to find another flatshare?

I know people would say, why should you move out, and yes, why SHOULD you, but in the long run i think you will be happier and healthier. It could be the rabbit, it could be the bedding - what is she using as bedding? I have terrible hayfever and horses set me off, but im not allergic to horses, its the bedding etc. Same with bunnies. My friend was severely asthmatic just as you are, she had a pet rabbit, but of course everyone has different triggers - but if it is the bedding its an easier solution.

StayFrosty · 27/02/2010 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

musicposy · 27/02/2010 21:25

When I was at uni we used to get spot checks from the uni housing dept, even though it was a private let. They did this to make sure none of the students were giving the uni a bad name, I think. Could you have a word with landlord/ uni housing and get them to pretend it's a random spot check? Then they could accidentally find the rabbit and you might be better off.

Mind you, you might be better taking to them about being moved. My first year houseshare was grim, my roommate used to have boyfriend round and get me to sleep on the floor in another room so she could shag him, although this was plainly against the rules. Her friedns in the house put so much pressure on me I'd have been ostracised if I hadn't agreed. In the end it became unbearable so I went to uni housing officer and they moved me in a matter of days. The new place was so lovely, I still remember it really fondly. I wished I'd done it months earlier.

I'd think about which of these will give you the happiest outcome and go from there.

faddle · 27/02/2010 22:24

Nothing wrong with keeping rabbits indoors. They are very adaptable and make great housepets, (unless obviously you are asthmatic)
YANBU, the bunny has to relocate. Ask her to move it to another room, tell her she could try changing the bedding (you can get dust extracted hay for them to eat, you can also get dust extracted bedding for them to sleep on, or wood based cat litter pellets are a very good (and less messy) alternative bedding.

If she wont co-operate, report her to the landlord, and the rabbit can come live with me.....