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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel dissapointed with my first essay result which is a few marks from a 1st.

49 replies

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:15

I missed a 1st in my original degree by a few marks, I was gutted. I want a first this time.

I teach full time and work very long hours during term time. I do not really have time for serious study in the week, so have to fit it into weekends and holidays.

Just before the deadline I had an interview for a promotion ( which I got) so I was not fully focussed.

I am really angry with myself that I have messed up this essay which is the easiest.

Dp on the other hand says I need to be realistic, I am balancing a demanding role at work, a family and a busy life and I should accept that I am probably going to get a 2:1.

I am just a bit sad about it all as well as trying to work out how I am going to fit in more hours of study.

Will my tutor think I am arrogant if I email him and ask what I need to do to get up to a 1st?

OP posts:

BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/02/2010 22:20

No. A first is the best so go for it. Your tutor will be happy to tell you what you need to improve to achieve it.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/02/2010 22:23

If this is the first essay you've done for it, you've done very well to get that mark. It is highly likely you will improve on that.

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:24

Thanks, there is feedback on the essay but it is almost all about what I did well. The only suggestion was that I could have been slightly more original. I agree with this and need to find more time to reflect on my study.

I suppose I am worried that he might think that either I am kidding myself that I can get a first or that I am being arrogant.

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Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:25

Dp said that Brahms that I will probably improve. But this is supposed to the easiest essay which is worrying me.

What is really annoying me is that if I had not had to delete material to fit in with the word count it would have been more original and I may have got that first.

OP posts:

BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/02/2010 22:25

If you nearly got a first in this essay then you are almost certainly capable of getting a first. It's part of his job to give constructive criticism, which means telling you what you did wrong as well as what you did right

janeite · 26/02/2010 22:26

Sometimes you remind me of me, Twinset. As you know, I am a teacher - and, like you, I drive very hard bargains with myself. For example, I was observed a while back and 'only' got "Good with outstanding features" so was beating myself up about not getting outstanding.

Unfortunately, I am beginning to realise that if I don't relax a bit and stop demanding perfection from myself, all of the time, I am likely to drive myself (and probably everybody else) insane.

What I am trying to say, very badly, is that sometimes good enough is actually great.

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:28

lol janeite, dp has given me the same talk tonight!

OP posts:

lou031205 · 26/02/2010 22:29

Gutting, isn't it? I missed a first by 0.5% overall. But hey ho.

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:33

Yes Brahms, I know sometimes when I mark A Level essays it is hard to put your finger on what it is that makes the difference between a top B and an A. Perhaps that is the case with my essay which is why the contructive criticism is lacking. Maybe he is trying to be positive.

I am also feeling bad because I teach philosophy of religion and this is a philosophy degree. I feel that really I should get a first or I am somehow a failure as a teacher. Having read it again I have made a key point without explaining it as it was so obvious to me. Perhaps I need to make sure I am always making it clear that I know what I am talking about.

I will email and ask.

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Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:34

lou it is worse when you are so close as yo know that another hour and you could have fixed it.

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BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/02/2010 22:36

FWIW I think the real difference between a first and a 2.1 is the originality aspect. A 2.1 is if you have the facts all straight and have represented different academics' viewd properly. Putting in an idea of your own (obviously doesn't have to be groundbreaking!). Also style has a lot to do with it - a good edit is crucial.

I don't think you have to get a first to be a good teacher, but it is definitely an achievement, and you'll be able to think for the rest of your life 'I got a first'. Definitely worth it.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/02/2010 22:37

Can you not get some more time to yourself to do work? How old are your children?

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:42

My dd is eight, she is not the problem, it is my working hours really. Of course dd rakes up time but I do not want to reduce that.

There were original ideas in the essay but there did need to be more and perhaps even more original and I do think that more time would help me do that. Just tine to sit back and reflect.

Maybe I can get up earlier on a Sunday and do some work before church.

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Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:43

Thankyou Brahms, you have managed to move me on from being quite pissed off to actually thinking what can I do to fix the situation?

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BitOfFun · 26/02/2010 22:46

I don't think it's arrogant to ask- it would be arrogant to demand the tutor re-grade, but that's not what you are saying.

I too missed a first in my degree by a couple of marks, but I consoled myself that I'd had to work two full days to fund myself, and I didn't have as much time to study as I needed. Sometimes you just have to ease up on yourself...what would a first prove anyway? That you are fabulous and intelligent? You know that already, or you wouldn't be hoping for one .

There is a big difference too between knowledge and wisdom (apart from knowing a tomato is a fruit but that you shouldn't put it in a fruit salad): you may know enough to get a first, but still be wise enough to see that a well-balanced person makes time in their life for their family and friends, rather than stressing themselves and everyone around them to the hilt by going for a number on a certificate to prove a point to yourself.

I know you work very very hard. But do try to include some happiness and relaxation in your definition of success x

AvengingGerbil · 26/02/2010 22:48

Twinset, when I was teaching undergrads I would be inclined to mark the first essay more stringently than later ones. It prevents bright students from deciding to coast.

MillyR · 26/02/2010 22:49

For every essay I did for my MSc, I would arrange a time to go and see the tutor and get specific feedback on how my work could have been better. I would get them to go through every area where they thought there could have been an improvement. I did this regardless of the mark. There is simply not room on a feedback form to fit in all that could be said.

From what you have said on this thread, I think the most obvious way you could improve would be to make your essays as succinct as possible. If a word or phrase is not essential, remove it. This makes your meaning clearer and allows you to cover more topics in the essay.

If I give someone one mark below a first, it is because their essay was very good but they did not meet all of the marking criteria needed to award the mark according to the regulations. This is usually not enough evidence of original thought or a lack or wide reading beyond the reading list.

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:51

I don't want my degree to cost me my family which is why I said that I didn't want it to cut into family time which is precious.

I suppse though BOF that dp may be thinking along the same lines as you though.

I am aware that I come across as a stressed control freak, I am not I promise. I just don't sleep very much.

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Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:56

MillyR apparantly you can get a 1st from the OU without extra reading. I am not so sure myself and have always tended to read around. I did not have time to really to do extra reading this time beyond a few brief things I had at work. The word limit was so tight 1500 words with a fair amount of subject matter to cover. Maybe I will do better in the "harder" essays where I have more space to be original.

I will go back and look at the marking criteria again.

OP posts:

skinsl · 26/02/2010 22:56

Give yourself a break, it's your first essay!

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 22:57

BOF I hope that didn't come across as dismissive of your point which is very valid, you have made me think.

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BrahmsThirdRacket · 26/02/2010 22:59

I think a first is really worth going for. 80% of people get 2.1s. It is such an annoying grade bracket, because to sneak into it at the lower end is not that difficult, but you can work like a bastard and just miss a first.

Is this a three-year degree on OU or similar? People usually go up at least a grade boundary between first and final year. You don't need to cut into family time, just slack off some of the other things you do that aren't so necessary. TV is a big time killer, as is the internet! If you can do an hour a day that's great. Most people can find an hour in a day. IME a lot of women will take on thankless tasks at work to be helpful. Don't do that! Men never do, and it's one of the reasons they do better in the workplace. Also pointless housy stuff can go (e.g. most ironing).

Ellokitty · 26/02/2010 23:02

I'd say cut yourself some slack and just enjoy studying for the pleasure of studying without putting too much pressure on yourself - after all, getting a first in this degree won't really change your job prospects will it?

I got a 2:i in my first degree, and like you, was not that far off a first. In my first masters degree, I missed getting a distinction by one sodding essay (which I had to rush, due to a sick DD and pregnancy illness at the time). I got a merit for that one. I am now doing a second masters degree (also in philosophy) but have made the decision not to care about the grade, just to enjoy studying for studying sake.... and I have to say it is a really liberating experience. This masters degree will help my subject knowledge, but won't further my career at all, so I'm just enjoying learning and it is so much more rewarding than piling pressure on myself to get a good grade.

Perhaps you could also just sod the grade and just enjoy learning something new?

MillyR · 26/02/2010 23:02

It would make sense if the OU didn't ask for wider reading, because many OU students will have no access to a university library.

I think getting another degree is amazing enough and it shouldn't really matter if you get a first or not.

Original poster

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 23:08

Dp does most of the housework, I have been trying to do the hour of the day. But I have just been so tired lately that even if I have the time I have not had the energy. When I get tired my brain seems to shut down. Maybe I need to say to myself that at 10PM school work finished and then I have an hour before bed every worknight. Or after dd has been put to bed I have an hour of study before starting school work.

I have given up TV in the week so I have time to study.

The OU degree is four years and this is my second year.

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