to not want to get a dog

[swanandduck]

My children have been pestering us to get a dog. I am not a doggie person, in fact I really don't like dogs and don't want one in the house. My dh has told the children that we'll 'think about it' (thanks hon). Of course the children think that this means 'yes' and are already arguing over what the dog is going to be called, who's going to 'own' the dog and so on.
Apart from not liking dogs, I work part time and we head over and back to Ireland regularly to see my parents, as my dad can't travel. I am not willing to compromise on that, so there would be endless hassle trying to find someone to mind the dog or the expense of putting him in kennels. Would it be unreasonable to just say to the kids that we've thought about it and the answer is 'no'.

Thats not unreasonable at all. Dogs need alot of time and commitment (I've had several) you need all the family to want them. You'll be left with training, walking, feeding, grooming, hoovering up hairs etc. You'll resent it. Are there any other animals you don't mind that they could have as an alternative - guinea pigs/gerbils/ even fish? Less work and less money!

As a passionate dog lover I have to say you'd be unreasonable to say 'yes' to a dog under the circumstances you describe.

I love dogs. My kids are pestering too. But I'm already runragged with 3 kids and a part-time job I can't commit to one. I've said ask again in a year!

No it wouldn't be unreasonable. You are the adults and you make the big decisions.

Dogs really are a bind - I know they make wonderful pets, but it's like having another child, they need a lot of attention and looking after and you have put forward very sensible reasons for not having one.

We always had dogs growing up, but my mum only worked 9am-1pm, we went home at lunchtime from school as (older) kids to feed/walk the dog, and we went on self catering holidays in Scotland and took the dog with us.

Kennels are very expensive - not sure what the going rate is for dogs, but last time I put my cat in when we went on holiday (albeit in 2007) it cost £140 for a fortnight!

Good luck with telling the kids, it won't be easy but hopefully your DH will agree to back you up and at least you'll be presenting a united front!

Everthing Mutt said.

Say No, and say it loud and clear.

Dogs are a big commitment and it will be you who ends up looking after it - not them. If you give in it will be unfair on the dog as well as unfair on you.

I would say no too. I love my dogs, but am concious of how much of our lives revolve around them. I find that people (esp. mums!) in your position give in, and then get really p'd off having to do everything for a dog you didn't really want in the first place.

FWIW I pestered my folks to get a dog when I was 7, and they finally caved (mum loved dogs anyway, dad not so much) After a year, mum had to go back to work full time, the dog was very demanding and they rehomed my beloved dog without giving me a chance to even say goodbye. Broke my heart, and my dad still feels terrible about it now. So probably less heartache all round if you don't get one in the first place, as it will inevitably end up being you who does the majority of the work (no matter what they all say now!)

YANBU - I love dogs and got a lab puppy last year but they are a huge commitment and alot of work.

If you cant offer that commitment and feel you are too busy to look after a dog properly then it is only being sensible to say no and will save lots of heartbreak in the long run if you found out later that you couldnt manage.

Fwiw, our beloved collie passed away 6 years ago and we always wanted another but it was never the right time. It took 5 years before I felt I could offer a dog a good/stable environment so had to put up with DS' please all that time.

YANBU. Picking up the shite of an animal you resent already? Better things to do in life IMO.

YANBU - if you get a dog, you will most likely be the one doing all the work (and it is substantial). If you are not happy with that, then you should not feel obliged to get a dog. I love dogs, currently I don't feel that I could offer a dog enough. Maybe in the future I could, but not now.

YANBU, i love dogs, i think everyone should have a dog - but if you really don't want a dog - then please don't get one, chances are you might grow to love it but its equally likely, seeing as it is almost 100% likely that after the novelty wears off it will be YOUR dog and you will be responsible for walking it, training it, feeding it, picking up its shit.

You could of course take it to ireland with you as i am not sure if you need the rabies vaccination to travel too and from ireland (im willing to be corrected on that). But that is the least of your worries. Part time work doesn't matter really either - what matters is that YOU DONT WANT THE DOG.

Stand your ground, it will make you feel shit but in the long run, tis better for everyone

Thanks everyone. Will break it to the dd and ds. I was going to say we couldn't get a dog because it would mean we couldn't visit granny and grandad as often and they love to see us etc but then thought the kids might start resenting going to Dublin and see my parents as the reason they can't have a dog. So I will just say 'no, not at the moment'. They will probably forget it in a couple of days and start pestering me for something else .

Don't be bullied into it. I was. Then a year or two and a lot of hard work later my DD started asking for an African giant snail. Why oh why didn't we just skip straight to the fucking snail? It would have been a lot easier.