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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to dislike dope smoking neighbours

19 replies

waterbirthbaby · 26/02/2010 10:58

Whenever its not raining my neighbours sit in their garden smoking dope and laughing a lot - which would be fine, but their garden is under our bedroom windows, so no matter where they are in their garden and no matter which room my baby girl sleeps in, she's breathing in their drug fumes. (somehow even with the windows closed!!!)

I just don't really know what to do about it and am suddenly dreading summer!

OP posts:

NinjaChipmunk · 26/02/2010 11:04

ask them not? be completely lovely to their faces but call the police? is it rented, if so call the landlord.

KernowMother · 26/02/2010 11:15

I expect they'd be horrified to learn that it was so obvious and I would have thought a little word would have them moving location rather swiftly.

porcamiseria · 26/02/2010 13:06

agree, you catch more flies with sugar than vinegar, smile sweetly but then tell them that their ahem herbal fumes are disturbing you

dont get the police in just yet!

yummymonkey · 26/02/2010 13:16

We are having a similar problem, except that the drug smell is coming from neighbour smoking inside the house (it seems to be coming in through the floorboards or something). We have approached them about it 3 times now, as I decided to take the 'nice' approach; to be fair things seem to have improved, but I still smell it occasionally. The problem now is that if it continues and we were to contact the police/his landlord he would know it was us. Does anyone know how harmful it would be for baby to breathe in the 'drug smell'?

Original poster

waterbirthbaby · 26/02/2010 14:03

Thanks all for your thoughts. I'm also a bit afraid to mention it as if it doesnt improve and we complain they'll know it was us. Last summer they had parties under our bedroom window till 3/4am every weekend until I dropped a ''£1000 fine for noise pollution notice' from the council through their letter box.

As for the risk to your baby - if smoking IN the house or NEAR a baby increases the risk of SIDS, then this MUST pose a risk too! I read somewhere recently that smokers shouldn't hold your baby for an hour after their last smoke! And that's just cigarettes.

OP posts:

ShinyAndNew · 26/02/2010 14:11

Did you talk to them before reporting them for noise pollution?

If you didn't I'd imagine that they will do their upmost to annoy the hell out of you. One of my biggest bug bears is people who complain to 'officals' before trying to discuss it with person like an adult.

If you did speak to them and they still carried on, then I doubt they'll listen this time either, but you could try.

But, no YANBU to not like it.

Floopy21 · 26/02/2010 14:49

I'd be mortified if I thought our very occasional spliff outside was affecting our neighbours quality of life. I'd also be upset if they called in the authorities without mentioning it to us first (as many posters have said) - communication is the key in any relationship. If they're unreasonable, fuck 'em ,call the police/council/whatever, you tried.

Original poster

waterbirthbaby · 27/02/2010 01:40

Yeah, I tried to talk to one of them before the noise thing (but the guy didn't or pretended not to speak English) so I spoke to my landlady who spoke to their landlord who spoke to them. It helped - a bit - now they drop a note through the door when they're going to have a party, so at least we're being prewarned, I guess.

I wouldn't just call the cops without dealing with it personally, but I just hate sounding like a miserable old neighbour. Lol.

Anyway, glad I'm not being totally idiotic about it. I don't care much, but hate that my 4 month old is breathing it in.

OP posts:

muggglewump · 27/02/2010 01:49

How is she breathing it in if the window is shut?

OK, perhaps you could do something about the weed if you want to, given that it is illegal, but you can't about the smoking.
You really can't stop smoke near your DC.

Could you swap rooms with her if it bothers you?

BitOfFun · 27/02/2010 01:50

Smell molecules are somewhat different to active drug fumes though. You are over-reavting to that aspect of things, I think. If their noide bothers you, then it's worth a chat, but at the end of the day they are entitled to reasonable enjoyment of their garden too.

muggglewump · 27/02/2010 01:52

I just read that the bedrooms are all above the smoke.
What about putting your DC to bed in another room. The living room or bathroom, away from the smoke?
The only solution though, is to move.
You can't stop people smoking outside.

ravenAK · 27/02/2010 02:20

I think it'd be just as harmful (ie. not very - probably more airborne pollutants walking through town centre than drifting in to your house from neighbour's smoking) & just as unpleasant (ie. you hate the smell & it feels intrusive) if it were ordinary fags.

You could go down the route of calling the police, but I really wouldn't expect them to see busting your neighbours for smoking the odd spliff, unobtrusively & on private property, as a huge priority.

I'd hate it too, but I think your most practical recourse is to ask them nicely - is there an area of the garden they could smoke in that wouldn't funnel it in to you & dd?

EcoMouse · 27/02/2010 02:45

Ask nicely. Weed smokers are generally quite, erm, stonedplacid

Casmama · 27/02/2010 03:11

Come on really! Are these fumes so pungent that they are released into the open air and can pass through closed windows? Is it possible you are being a little overprotective?

abbierhodes · 27/02/2010 09:21

I love this site. You can't tell blonde jokes, but smoking weed around small children is fine!

I'd tell them straight that I wasn't going to put up with my children breathing it in, and if I smelt it again I'd call the police.
It is an illegal drug afterall.

thesecondcoming · 27/02/2010 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runnybottom · 27/02/2010 10:26

They're not breathing it in though, they're getting the odd whiff of it.
And they aren't around small children if child is in bed in a different house, are they?

sasamaxx · 27/02/2010 10:28

I agree with pps - wouldn't get all heavy with them calling police etc - a quiet word is probably the best solution

SE13Mummy · 27/02/2010 13:24

Our neighbour's son and his friends smoke a lot of dope in his bedroom which is next door to our kitchen (we're a first floor flat). We get on well with his mum so I asked her if she'd mind asking him to keep his window closed whilst smoking when he could see that our kitchen door's open... she was mortified that so much of the smell was coming into our flat and since then it's been much better.

Whilst I'd prefer my flat not to stink of dope I wouldn't dream of contacting the police/council about it if I'd not given my neighbour the opportunity to do something about it first. Actually, I'm not sure I'd report them anyway - we get on with them, they look after our parcels and if it wasn't them living next door it could be a mad axe murderer who won't look after our parcels!

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