My in laws are coming to stay the week after next. In preparation, they have phoned DH to tell him they don't feel welcome here, think I barely tolerate their presence and that I don't like them.
I am dumbfounded.
This apparently stems from their last visit, when, allegedly, I "hid myself away" from them.
For context, when they last visited, my DD was 8 weeks old. I had had a c-section and blood transfusion. I had only been cleared by the doctor to lift my hands above my head for 10 days. Oh, and I was KNACKERED due to all of the above.
I did, indeed, spend one whole morning in bed with DD, breastfeeding. I did also go to bed every night at 10:30pm, while they stayed up drinking and chatting. I did this because I would be up another 3 times in the night, and because I was only allowing myself one glass of wine whilst trying - and failing, and feeling pretty crap about that too - to breastfeed.
BUT since we had turned the spare room they usually sleep in into the nursery, I had also cleared out the study, thrown away all my furniture and put in a smaller desk so we had room for a sofa bed (newly purchased for this reason) for them to sleep on.
I also did all the cooking while they were here, which meant separate meals for MIL as she is veggie.
Incidentally, I also do ALL birthday, Christmas, mothers day, fathers day, new job, good luck in exams, happy retirement etc etc shopping/cards. When pregnant, I sent them updates each time I saw the midwife/GP and sent them my scan photos. Also put together a presentation for MIL as part of her degree which took me 5 hours, took SIL to get her hair restyled (for the first time in 20 years), wrote BIL's CV for him and a hundred other minor kindnesses which have apparently gone unnoticed.
Since DD has been born, I have sent them photos and videos about 3 times per week. I have emailed with details of all her milestones (holding head up, first tooth etc etc). She is now 8 months. They live in Aberdeen, and we live in London, so this will only be the third time they've seen her and I think there is some jealousy that my parents (who live 18 miles away) have seen her more (but do not need to stay overnight if they visit). But they couldn't visit more often because MIL was doing her degree, so studying and going to lectures etc and they have horses which need to be looked after/babysat if they are away.
I think they are selfish beyond belief to think it could be "all about them". I have a baby to look after FFS, and yes, she IS going to come first, and no, I am not going to breastfeed her lying on the floor in the living room (I could only feed lying down) so they could all have a good look, and I AM going to go to bed if I am tired (and of course I am tired) and 10:30 isn't THAT early is it? I mean, so early it counts as "hiding away"? They have three children, and I know it was years ago, but can they really have forgotten what it's like?
AIBU to not really want them to come back if this is how they feel about me? What more do they want?!
DH, btw, tells me to ignore them, just like he does, if they are "being difficult". He once didn't speak to his dad for 9 months following a disagreement about MP's pensions, so this is the level of maturity we are dealing with, I'm afraid.