Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

Spidermama, I do think there is a lack of focus on class in that book. It is clear from the comments being made by the women being interviewed that class played by a part.

I think the strength of the book is that the writer lets the women speak for themselves, so it is still very much worth reading.

I think it is worth reading Female Chauvinist Pigs as well.

that should have said 'class played a part'

WRT kidding myself about dp looking at porn. Well, you could be right. Plus, he could be sliding into the booth an slipping an x next to the Tory candidate - I'd never know.

However, pretty much every bit that I DO know about him says 'dislikes porn personally, politically, ethically'. Sexually, I don't know - all things being equal (and the whole point is, they're not) I think he poss would find it arousing. But he knows what it is (in terms of its meaning in the world,its production and effects) and therefore doesn't.

omg - not tory?
leave him.

my dh doesn't watch porn not becuase he is intelligent enough to know better, not becuase he has an amazing moral compass. it's becuase he has no time. there really isn't a wank freely zone in our house either.

i don't have any objection to watching it myself.

It's all a question of taste and decency IMO

I don't think that decent men use porn

I didn't find it 'clear from the interviews that that class played a part' at all. I was just reading the words of women. They were from different backgrounds.

I agree it's well put together as the women are speaking for themselves. It's good journalism. However I do sometimes wish she'd put more of herself and her opinions into the book and get angry.

Some examples of class mentioned by the people being interviewed:

'if you're a working class girl from the provinces who sends your pictures into these magazines, you're not likely to be incredibly successful.'

'The men in there are respectable, they have suits, they have bank accounts. The women in there are not respectable, they are naked, they have debts.'

A man from the industry, when asked if he would let his daughter become a glamour model... " I am a middle class parent... I would hope she would have other aspirations. I encourage her to read books. Other people have different backgrounds.'

No, Dittany, the points made in critiques of the book are not meant to undermine its premise. There was a man on the Review Show making some remarks that attempted to make out it was just part of working class culture, but that is not the point being made by others.

I think the class issue is about options for women, and how women and children make up a very large proportion of the very poor in society. There options can often be very limited, and the sex industry is being mis-sold to many poor women as a way of making good money, when it very clearly an option leading to exploitation and women ending up in entirely different scenarios from the ones they envisaged when they were brought into the industry.

It is certainly not making out that working class men are more involved in porn that middle class men.

I don't think sexism can be separated from class. Most poor adults are women. That is a consequence of misogyny.

Quite MillyR. NW missed a trick missed in connecting porn's exploitativeness with other class-based examples for impact.

Porn's apologists are often allowed to pretend that this is a matter for debate in the ether, amongst the urbane. It is part of the patriarchy, of course, Dittany - but it is also, overwhelmingly, part of the story of capitalism.

I have to say, I am absolutely shocked, disgusted and appalled by these stories of grown men who don't know how to erase their PC's browsing history and clear their Cookies.

indeed, even i, as a lowly woman can do that.

should add

was meant to be funny but reads like a dig - sorry

I found it funny

I'm really trying to understand this porn thing, does having violent fantasies mean you have same violent tendencies. Have found my not so dp, the father of my dcs advertising himself on porn sites wanting nsa hardcore sex. He says he has never met anyone and its no different to having a mag under the bed. He says its harmless and hes only a voyer but he has emailed people trying to meet them but by the looks with out much success.
What should I do.

If I have anything useful to add to the debate (and I can't claim to have read the whole huge thread properly) I suppose I agree with MrsMontague who said ages ago:

"I would always be more suspicious of a man who didn't have any passing interest in other women, be it one of Girls Aloud, Kelly Brook or the porn star! As long as it's me he is taking to bed, I'm happy."

Indeed, you probably have more to be worried about with a man who claims he never, ever looks at other women... (DW can lech at Richard Armitage and Daniel Craig and I can lech at Sarah Harding and Frankie Sandford and we are both very happy, and have no real desire to go anywhere else.) And you have even more to worry about if it is the breasts of Debbie From Accounts that DH is admiring, rather than Jenna Jameson, because Debbie might just get tipsy at the Christmas party and she might try it on with him, or vice-versa.

get rid, he;s clearly a tosser[pun intended]

How do you have violent hardcore sex if you are only a voyer?

slap the screen?

knock yourself about whilst knocking one off?

spank yourself AND the monkey?

Beating the bishop?

Arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel?