to think this must be the most inane ticker ever..

[GhoulsAreLoud]

..just seen on another site:

"natural birth is love"

huh?
So. Much. To. Type.

I know! Really outdoes my previous favourite of "cloth-bummed and carried"

Hmmm, as I'm currently carrying my first I can think of many I'd like to see around before I get there...but I'm very much afraid that Locket's sounds most like my expectations!

Can I have one saying 'the baby won't remember'?

Or 'the baby won't be grateful'. Cos that's true of everything you do.

"Came out the sun roof"

'Tried to come out arse first'

'Natural birth makes you poo'

"Natural birth, incontinence pad manufacturers best friend"

Natural birth = fadg like a wizzards sleeeve!

speaking as someone who's had three natural hippy pain relief free births;

BOLLOCKS

nothing loving at all about how you feel during the birth... primal, instinctive, agonising, messy, intense, terrifying maybe but 'love'?

what's less loving about a mother who has complications in labour and needs a cs ffs?

the woman needs a slap

"CS, I love my baby enough to sliced open!"

Am LOL - brilliant.

coco, love that one

Natural birth, not so great when your child tests the hypothesis 'a baby can enter this world ear first'. Too long for a ticker?

Results of research? No a baby cannot enter this world ear first without major abdominal surgery.

Mine were researchers too....

One tested the hypothesis 'Can i enter the world with the cord wrapped around me if is simply claw my way out?'

And another tested 'We know a baby can exit with arm over face but can a larger baby exit back to front with arm over face'

Stupid twat

I kind of wish an EMCS on her next time

But I don't really cos I'm not a bitch.

How about 'When your husband says it doesn't feel any different he's lying'

natural birth along with clothed bum and carried is up her own arse so much that she can't actually see anyother colour than brown.....

that is if it is advertised in anyway if you do it on the side and don't shout it out - thats fine

When I still posted on places where tickers where the norm I had a blinkie saying "I don't need a blinkie to advertise my parenting decisions"

They've long thrown me out, though

"Natural birth wouldn't happen if men had fanjoes"