To think that the brides dresses and bridesmaids dresses in My Big fat Gypsie wedding are really tacky

[pigletmania]

Well they are! Nothing against the travelling community, they have good morals and attitdes, but imo the dresses were hideious! That poor baby in what can be described as a toilet roll holder thing . Luminous green bridesmaid dresses that look like Las Vegas showgirls, and brides dresses weighing 27 stone .

I know lots of travellers and have afair bit to do with the local traveller community and I've even been to a couple of weddings - which can get very hairy.

What worries me more though, is that the girls are given very little option in how to live their lives. Few see school through and are engaged by 14, married by 16. Almost none work.
Contact with the outside world is actively discouraged even for medical or legal problems.

I just don't think it's good enough to excuse it as simply culture.

I really enjoyed this programe. It was a documentary as opposed to the usual 'lets laugh at the freaks' type show that has taken the documentary's place.

I do have issues with the place of young women in the culture and how young they marry etc but I come from a very different background so this is to be expected.

But I think the programme showed that travellers are people and not monsters. It showed beautiful young girls and loving parents. It was very sad to see the stress of not knowing if a venue was going to find out that you were a gypsy and cancel you girl's wedding at the last minute. How awful.

I wouldnt have choosen the dresses but each to their own. They loved them, they chose them and they paid for them. It doesnt harm anyone (apart from a bit of bruising!) and the dresses are a vital part of the ritual.

For all its failings (what culture doesnt have failings) those young people were loved and valued and protected.

Bloody good luck to them

Talking of paying for the dresses, unless I got the wrong end of the stick, the last girl featured who had the straight dress with the long train - her mum gave the impression that she, the bride, had been saving for years to pay for her dress herself.

The dresses would be very expensive, but you don't talk money with travellers. Its not done, but conversely, it is very important to be seen to be wealthy (relatively, within the standards of the community), to be able to have grand things, and to keep up with others.

I would have thought it would be very very unusual for a bride to pay for her own wedding, but then that girl was unusual in other ways. A job, unmarried at 22, marrying outside the country..thats all unusual afaik.

I don't think she paid for the wedding, just for the dress. But I may have got that wrong anyway ...

back to the venues thing - as these weddings/wakes etc are usually big affairs, lots of travellers from outside the area attend and it seems, according to the travellers Mum knew, that the troubles would mostly originate with the non-locals. I dont know how true or prevalent that is, but the locals WOULD understand the value of preserving good relations with a venue that did allow them in; the outsiders wouldn't give a toss because it's not their patch or problem.

when I was a dental student in the mid 80s we had to conceal the fact we were dental students to hire a function suite /bar/hotel/venue because dental students had a bad reputation for drunkenness/loutish behaviour.

That's because many but not all of us were drunken louts

where on earth do they get the money to pay for these lavish weddings?

dont want to guess as i might get lambasted by the PC brigade on here.

OK she gets married, but what a life of drudgery afterwards. Maybe they are so lavish as it will be only time that THEY themselves can choose something for themselves as an individual woman.
As someone said, not many work outside the home, so just be glad you don't have to live like them.

We had a travellers gathering here a few weeks back,(at the local Toby carvery) and I was disgusted at their behaviour! adults drinking stupidly, kids running around, on tables were customers were eating etc... many many customers walked out without paying for their meal.

They were f-ing and blinding at the servers, causing a huge atmosphere in the carvery, servers and cooks were on edge as they ere hostile and rude.

I went up for my meal and a fight broke out between the woman, (something to do with their children)and the chef behind the carvery had to lift a customer out the way as she was bang in the middle of it all!, I had to go behind the bar for my own safety!

it was shameful, they were all dressed in their "Sunday" outfits also, children with big dresses, as with th mothers etc... men in shirts and trousers etc...

In the end the police were called and the manager had to close the carvery as it was a mess for the weekend, loosing im presuming alot of money! due to their actions.

on the other end we have another travellers family who stay in a permanent caravan site, whom are lovely, and were also disgusted at their behaviour.

In our part of the country,for every Romany gypsy girl who chooses to marry young there is another going on to further education or work outside the house.Several have been to uni,I know two who are teachers.As far as I know all children go through main stream education.I think the difference is between the settled gypsy community and those who actually travel.

It may be a regional thing or it may be a difference between the Romany gypsy life and the Irish traveller life.
Certainly I have never seen a Romany gypsy girl dressed in the skimpy clothes that the girls in the programmes were wearing,they are taught to have more respect for themseves and their bodies,our dd was firmly told that she would never be dressing like that.

Just curious but what on earth do they do with those dresses after the wedding? Not exactly going to be able to hang it in the back of the wardrode.

I suppose they are pretty tacky. It was a sensationalist programme, though, wasn't it? 'Come and look at all these gypsy girls dressed up like a dog's dinner' under the guise of a serious documentary about the Traveller way of life.

I think the programme makers were probably disappointed to find that nobody kicked off at any of the weddings and that everyone treated each other with respect.

I have known many traveller's in my life and they are just like anyone else - some good, some bad. The stereotypes are mostly bollocks.

I didn't think it was particularly sensationalist.

Re the dresses, definitely not my taste but whatever.

However, I don't understand people here saying 'at least they have morals' because they get married so young. That's not morals, it's just doing what you're told. There's no way you can know yourself at that age, and it's far too young to make a life decision. I bet there's no way of getting out of it if you realise you've made a mistake - the whole culture is so oppressive.

Really?@cyteen. They spent an awful lot of time zoning in on the pregnant girl in the corset and the various teenage girls' bums...

I guess so...but then they spent no time digging around trying to find pissed-off locals ready to moan about how stupid/violent/crooked all travellers were. No interviews with venue owners about why they didn't want travellers there. No comedy music (that I recall) or other production tricks designed to add an air of mockery to the girls and their dreams. Just lots of space for the travellers to talk about themselves, their lifestyle, their choices, and enough space for the viewer to make their own interpretation (e.g. it seems pretty unanimous that Joan was, if not shitting it, somewhat uncertain about the choice she was making).

There was a similar show a few years ago, about a traveller girl who's dad had a paving company (I remember because I thought I must be in the wrong business!) and she had a dress covered in Swarovski crystals where the top of the dress came off to be a mini skirt for later in the evening (she could barely walk it was so heavy). I'm pretty sure they said her dress cost £22,000.

Those dresses didn't have the same expensive crystals, but still made me guess at £10,000+???

leeloo1 - I was guestimating the same sort of amount!