to hate hugging?

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

I love hugging dp/ds, but nobody else. Mil gives me whiskery hugs, and a friend inflicts long braless hugs on me which I find excruciating. They give me shudders for about ten minutes afterward, that "nails on a chalkboard" feeling iyswim? But thankfully no-one else usually hugs me.

And then today I met my new home start volunteer who was very nice, but when she got up to go she swooped in and gave me a big hug, and my heart utterly sank. I've let another hugger into my life, and I'm going to see her every week. At least I only see the other huggers every few weeks. Waaah!

Am I the only one who hates hugs? Is there a polite way of saying "Don't touch me you give me the creeps?"

I'm in the Euphemia/Oblio camp - scottish presbyterian indeed.

I never liked hugging

Trying to embrace it now (no pub intenended) as all family members seem to love it and expect it

Friends know I have an issud with it and most of the time withhold, until they decide that they are drunk enough to force me into a loving cuddle

I'm the same, my PILs insist on a kiss and hug on saying hello and goodbye, FIL has a long whiskery beard and it absolutely makes me shudder, I can't bear it, I hate it when it comes to saying goodbye, sometimes I just get in the car and wave goodbye from there, rude I know but honestly yuck. HATE hugging and kissing anyone who is not DH or children.

I am a hugger and kisser (one on the cheek) as are all my family and friends. I did however have one traumatic kiss last year from my friend's pissed slightly tipsy Dad. He gave me an on the lips kiss with his mouth a little open so it was a wet kiss! And he stank of beer and cigs. This was months ago and it still makes me shudder.

Hasn't stopped me giving hugs and kisses to friends though but I will definitely avoid him in the future!

I hate it when it comes to saying goodbye, sometimes I just get in the car and wave goodbye from there, rude I know but honestly yuck

I do the same with my inlaws. I don't care if it's rude. I find it just as rude to force yourself on someone you know hates being kissed and hugged

Its quite apt that this is a zombie thread. thats how i feel when people lurch towards me, arms outstretched!

I willingly hug my DS, DDog and DH(occasionally!). I feel forced into hugging DM, DB, DSil etc and some friends. Luckily most of my friends are normal like me and are happy to smile, wave and say hello/goodbye. All this hugging never happened until I got into my thirties and I don't like it!

If I had my way, I would only ever hug DH, DS and Dpets!

But DHs family are Mediterranean so that's that preference out the window

Maybe a polite bow and a click of the heels would suffice?

I by far prefer the Japanese way, lots of bowing but no hugs, kisses or handshakes with the family we know. Wish I was Japanese.

I hate hugging, I have this one friend who hugs me two or three times when I see her - always saying 'ooh, can I give you a hug, you'll tell me if you don't want me to, won't you'. But she's the kind of person who would crumble if I actually did say, 'Nooooooooooooooooo get OFF', which is what I really want to say every time!

Unf I got v drunk & told all our mutual friends how much I hate this, so now it has become a running joke. I do love her though she's very very nice, I just hate hugging.

I'm cuddly with my kids though. That's very different - they used to be inside me - how could I have personal space ishoos with them?

I'm a hugger too, please tell me you don't want me to hug you, I will respect your feelings (and probably blow a kiss, I'm THAT annoying).

I have a non hugging friend, and she mocks me because she can see me twitching and trying to awkwardly do something OTHER than hug her... I've taken to handwringing.

YANBU. Well maybe, but then, I probably am too. [non contact hug]

I absolutely hate hugging. I only hug my children and DH. Probably overdo it with them. But I won't hug siblings or friends and relatives, and when I do, it's really awkward. I remember a colleague I used to work with used to paw at me and stroke my hair. I used to feel like jumping out of my chair and shaking my body like a cat whilst she was doing it. Horrible and annoying!

Oh god fakebook that would freak me out! My skin is crawling even thinking about it....

I know! And I used to be pawed at almost daily for four years.

This is ver' funny
'Fuck off, I don't hug'
'long braless hugs'
'mmm, do that some more'

There were always vaguely pervy distant male relatives hugging me and my sisters when we were lasses

I hate being hugged except by my own family members. A couple of people in church hug me as soon as I walk in, I don't want to hurt their feelings but I wish they would let me have my space.

I am not one to kiss everyone I meet either, gives me the shudders sometimes yuK!

This thread is doing my soul good - always thought I was an uptight bitch alone in a world of normal touchy feely people!

I've got better as I've got older, and there are some people I enjoy having a hug from, but generally I find it invasive.

It didn't help that, as a small, not repulsive female exec in a male dominated business, I got targeted for a lot of 'friendly' touching and even kissing by men who knew I couldn't say no or kick them in the bollocks without professional difficulties. One particular offender would shoulder grip me then try and kiss me on the lips

All you huggers out there...WHY???? Why do you do it? Can't you just hug your familly?

I have some lovely Italian friends who do that whole multiple kissing on the cheeks business as well. It seems the closer you are as a friend the longer you are obliged to stand there thinking, 'oh god, does it start on the right or the left? how many times? What again? Is it over? Oh, thank god!'

Their lovely preteen daughter does it now too as she is all grown up so it is 3 times the agony for me. The bloke has learned to shake DH formally by the hand though

MrsMushroom I could easily say "why? Why don't you? Why can't you hug everyone?" - Not sure there's an answer. Does there have to be?

Since knowing my non hugging friend I am more aware of my hugginess, and don't dive in until I know the hugee won't object.

I have NEVER stroked anyone's hair while hugging them, that's creepy. I'm not a lingering hugger. I do not grind on people either!! (Other than my DH, which he doesn't find particularly alluring, I blame Prosecco).

Another non-hugger signing in. I come from a family of non-huggers, my dad was visibly uncomfortable at having to pose with my arm through his on my wedding day and I think that was the last time he touched me. I have to be reminded to be affectionate with my own DH and DCs, although if they are ever ill or upset I find cuddling them comes instinctively.
I have a large personal space, I mostly give off strong "don't touch" vibes (or I'm just unlikeable...) as very few people invade it. I don't know if it's related, but I'm not an easy person to get on with generally - have very few close friends and even they don't know my innermost thoughts. [shuffles back off to sit in dark room, alone]

I'm a hugger but if I sense I'm hugging a non hugger I say "sorry your not a hugger are you?" Then make mental note not to hug next time.

Oh. Hahaha! I've only just realised this thread is 3 years old and I was on it the first time round in my old name.
I read me and didn't notice!

When you're right, Hecate, you're right