to hate hugging?

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

I love hugging dp/ds, but nobody else. Mil gives me whiskery hugs, and a friend inflicts long braless hugs on me which I find excruciating. They give me shudders for about ten minutes afterward, that "nails on a chalkboard" feeling iyswim? But thankfully no-one else usually hugs me.

And then today I met my new home start volunteer who was very nice, but when she got up to go she swooped in and gave me a big hug, and my heart utterly sank. I've let another hugger into my life, and I'm going to see her every week. At least I only see the other huggers every few weeks. Waaah!

Am I the only one who hates hugs? Is there a polite way of saying "Don't touch me you give me the creeps?"

YANBU. I'm not a hugger unless it is DS or DH, or my nan. I would like to hug my dad, but (apart from my nan) people in my family are not huggers in general. ILs do it and it does make me uncomfortable.

I also hate the people moving closer thing, really bugs me. Especially when you are in a queue and you are inching forwards to get away and they inch with you. Once in the post office, I couldn't even bend forwards to get something out of DS's bag as the woman behind was so close. I literally had to push her out of the way with my bum!

I only like hugs from people I know VERY well - close friends and close family only. I also find it really awkward when I see my friend and hug her goodbye (fine with that) but then have to hug her DP as well because he is standing there and it would look odd if I didn't iyswim!! He is lovely but I don't know him well enough!

I hate it because it just feels so unnatural to hug someone you don't know very well, and then there is that embarrassing moment when you don't know which side to lean towards and end up face to face lol! Always doing that!! I feel more comfortable hugging women than men also - don't know why that is

FIL always gives kisses goodbye, which I usually don't mind from people, except he always leaves slobber on my cheek! Bleurgh!

A good friend of mine isn't keen on physical greetings/goodbyes, she just puts her hand up and says, I'm not really a hugger, but it was great seeing/meeting you, I'll give u a ring/ see u again soon - it makes me laugh as it takes people aback a bit! But it's the only way really, unless u want to be constantly contagious in some way!

I don't "hug" anyone, other than DH/DD, ever, I like my personal space. It makes me shudder just to think about it in fact.

Yanbu, I only feel comfortable hugging dh and dds. I have that same skincrawly feeling, and have to break off as quickly as possible before I start to break out in a cold sweat. I'm glad its not just me.

Everyone knows not to touch me unless I'm pissed.

The hug is probably being given with the best of intentions, but your reaction is as important as her intention, I think. Could you say "it sounds silly but I've a bit of an issue about being hugged"? (If it really bothers you I mean).
I would follow/precede it by doing or saying something very nice, so she does not think you don't like her.

I am a hugger

My cousin told me a couple of years ago that she has issues with hugging, conatations of something being 'wrong' and needing fixing when she was young. I try very hard to remember not to cuddle her, but I love her and so it's hard not to especially if I haven't seen her for ages or if she's upset. She actually said that having had the discussion with me, she finds it easier to hug me because she's knows it's just what I do.

I must confess that I tend to view people who give bad hugs with suspicion!

YANBU I will only hug dh/dc's

I only started giving my mum a hug again when we found out she had cancer as she wasn't fond of giving a hug either.

I pushed someone away at my mothers funeral for hugging me thankfully DH stood really close to me and every time someone else came near us he would put his arm around me.

I wouldn't dream of doing anything other than hugging friends and family when I see them. It would seem so cold and remote.

There are members of DHs family who really stiffen up so I keep it brief as it's pretty excrutiating. There's no way however that I could NOT hug my MIL, the kids grandmother, who lives 400 miles away.

What do you do? Shake hands?

When my ILs visit, at the point of saying goodbye or hello my FIL always says 'now the bit you hate!' before they and my 2 BILs give me big hugs and 2 kisses each!

If you know I hate it don't do it! I like them, they are nice, but I can happily express that with a warm arm squeeze or a wave.

I now have to make excuses to avoid it which is far worse than if they just respected the fact I don't like hugging.

Back off and say "Oh, I don't do hugging I'm a northerner"

My dad is like this. He hates personal contact unless its mum.

I think the only time I got a proper hug off him was when I sliced my leg open when I fell off my bike.

Only just recently has he started being a little more "huggy" but perhaps that's because of the grandkids!

I hate hugging but I think I am unreasonable for hating it. My family are emotionally challenged hence my hatred but I think it would be good to love hugs - can't imagine it though as it makes me so uncomfortable. However I over hug my pets and dc.

Are we all terribly British?

My grandad always used to say hugging me was like hugging an ironing board. In my defence he knew I didn't like it but insisted on doing it anyway so i never felt too guilty for my visable distain. It became a bit of a running joke!

Interestingly I'm very touchy and huggy with ds but he is showing every sign of being just like me. He started swatting me off at about 2 . He likes to sit on my knee leaning against me but doesn't like me wrap my arms round him unless he is in the mood for a cuddle!

My friends husband hates hugging, the reason I know this is because whenever someone tries to hug he says "Fuck off I don't hug" & takes a step back.

It works for him, perhaps you could give it a try

I am a hugger, but I tend to only hug friends, not strangers, and usually it is only because we won't see each other for months, so I wouldn't hug friends I see daily.

... I think you might be a little bit unreasonable to hate hugs.

I usually don't mind hugs, as long as they're kept amongst good friends/family. The weird ones are the ones when you've been out with a big group of couples, it's late and everyone's a bit tipsy and kiss each other's partners goodnight a little too close to the mouth. It's all a little bit "keys in the bowl" for me

i dont hug people either. except DH and my parents- never hug his. although i did hug my freind when she went on maternity leave

If someone was really upset and needed comforting I'd hug them. I wouldn't enjoy it but I'd do it. It's mostly just the everyday "oh I'm going so let's hug" thing that gets me. What for? A simple "Bye then!" would suffice.

I am sitting home sick because the pastors wife at a new church I attended insisted on hugging me and my husband, even tho he told her no very clearly. I do NOT want to be hugged by strangers, ever! I think it's some sick need of theirs to insist others (they don't know) to bend to their will. I mean, no means no. I probably won't return to that church because of the pastor's wife insisting on hugging me and my husband.
And yes, I caught this cold at church. I had not been out for a full week prior to attending church.
Please ! Don't use the excuse "I'm a hugger" to inflict your will on others.

Oh CANNOT stand it. I hug my partner, my mum and my best friend. No-one else.

I hate the fake hugs at the end of the night, especially when you've met that person once and spoke to them for five minutes.

Shake hands and kiss on the cheek, PLEASE.