Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to refuse to get a dog?

89 replies

thelittlebluepills · 11/02/2010 20:49

DH has Multiple Sclerosis and has just been given ill health retirement. He is at home on his own all day now and understandably getting fed up/lonely/depressed. He (and everyone else in the family) would love to get a dog.

Arguments FOR

will keep DH company
will give DH a purpose, get him out on good days,get him socialising with others
DS1 wants a dog

Arguments AGAINST

I don't like dogs
they smell
their breath smells
they get hair everywhere
they jump up at people
they chew stuff
when DH is ill I will have a dog to walk/look after as well as two small kids and a job
it will be another thing to arrange/consider whenever we go away anywhere
the costs
DS2 is only 21mths and is still terrified of dogs

OP posts:

ljhooray · 13/02/2010 13:37

Totally agree with expatinscotland - too much and you should in no way feel guilty. If a less care demanding pet could be an option ( some cats like Siberian are apparently very dog like in temprement ) then perhaps as the rest of the family can help.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2010 13:47

How is she supposed to walk this dog on her own when/if her husband is too ill to be left with the children? Or in hospital?

It's not workable for her, at least right now.

Original poster

thelittlebluepills · 13/02/2010 14:31

hug and a holiday sounds good

apologies again for delay in posting - car broke down and toddler fell in the pond (we are at my parent's house)

maybe a dog could have helped rescue the toddler but I'm assuming that it wouldn't have been much use fixing a Exhaust Fume Recirculating Valve (or whatever it is that is going to cost me a fair fortune to fix )

thank you for helping me reason this one out - when DH is ill and I want so much to help him it can be hard to take the sensible line sometimes and put my foot down about what I do and don't want/need

OP posts:

DrNortherner · 13/02/2010 15:46

Oh expat calm it down will you? I am not putting any pressure on - merely giving advice. It's totally upto her and her dh if they get one.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2010 16:03

'Oh expat calm it down will you? I am not putting any pressure on - merely giving advice. It's totally upto her and her dh if they get one.'

It's not 'giving advice' to keep telling someone they'll 'grow to love' an animal they don't want and that walking them is time to themselves.

It's not fair on a dog, either, to be placed with someone who already sees them as more work they can't handle.

YOU may love dogs, she's said time and again she doesn't.

hatwoman · 13/02/2010 18:39

liitlebluepills - ljhooray has a point. we have a siamese - she's our second, and when we got our first (kind of by accident) I was stunned by how dog-like they are. I know I said below that no animals come close to dogs, and I stand by that, but Siamese are almost more dog-like than cat-like.

hatwoman · 13/02/2010 18:42

as far as I can see that was northerners first post. so she hasn;t kept doing anything. and she said she thought lbp could get to enjoy walking. not that she would...

expatinscotland · 13/02/2010 18:43

My ex-h has a Siamese and he calls him 'a dog in a cat's body'.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2010 18:45

that's not her first post, hat, there's another Thu 11-Feb-10 21:36:08 with the grow-to-love-a-dog in it.

mathanxiety · 13/02/2010 20:54

CheerfulYank · 13/02/2010 20:58

I love dogs, think they're great company, etc, etc, but it's your decision and if you don't like them, definitely don't!

I've only skimmed this thread but it does sound like you've quite a lot on your plate! Wish I could help in some way, just know I'm sending good wishes 'cross the pond for you.

Heated · 13/02/2010 21:15

Dog-sitting or working at as a volunteer at a dog's charity seem the way to go for dh if it's not to have any impact on you. The former might also be good for dh as it means he's still contributing to the household income. But he equally might find another outlet for his interests.

YANBU at all, you have an awful lot on your plate, both physically, financially and emotionally and doing something that would bring additional stress to your life would be madness.

GothDetective · 13/02/2010 21:30

Get a rescue greyhound. They don't need a lot of exercise, 2 short walks a day so when your DH isn't feeling too well its not like having a mad springer spaniel. Infact my greyhound doesn't mind if she misses the odd day and has no walk.

They sleep 23 hours a day and are so laid back they don't jump up. They don't shed hair.

They do have smelly breath though and fart a lot. You can brush their teeth though.

My DH "hates" dogs and was very against having one but I wore him down in the end. He loves our dog now though he pretends very hard not to.

mumbobumbo · 13/02/2010 22:11

Some thoughts.

If you decide to do the dog fostering and it is DH's responsibility to walk it -- could he manage to do this on bad days if he had a mobility scooter? I have really bad arthritis and got a secondhand scooter when I was preggers. From about 5 months on I could barely walk. Sometimes you can get them on eBay or in local papers, or through the Motability scheme if you are looking for something new.

As to your hubby's social isolation, this is something Social Services might be able to help you with. He could go to a Day Centre. They aren't as depressing as some people think. Or he could do voluntary work of some sort. Maybe just a couple of hours a week. These are the sort of things that keep me going.

Flip

1 2 3 4