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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the dads in One Born Every Minute were spectacularly unsupportive?

55 replies

TrickyTeenagersMum · 10/02/2010 12:29

Did you see it last night? One was just sitting there looking totally bored and uninvolved while his poor partner got her head round having a c section. The other was goofing around trying to lock his wife into the bathroom when she staggered in for a pee mid-labour, blowing up the blue gloves and poking her with them as she had a contraction, cracking pathetic jokes and generally displaying a mental age of around 13.
Both the mums were just crying out for a bit of "You're doing really well, it will all be fine" and a cuddle. The blokes were rubbish, really rubbish - weren't they?

OP posts:

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 12:32

truuuuuuly useless, yes. although my obstetrician informed me that it was not uncommon for young dads to want somewhere to plug in their nintendo thingy in the labour room.

tbh from what i saw on the wards, dads watching tv all the time and showing no interest in their newborns, i did rather despair.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/02/2010 12:32

I will say it again. Will and Lisa went to Dorchester hospital for a check up and were then blue lighted to Southampton with nothing, with a baby on the way that had problems. They are young, very nice, very hard working, he is also like that in RL, very quiet.

Original poster

TrickyTeenagersMum · 10/02/2010 12:35

Oh do you know them Five? It just all seemed a bit odd how withdrawn and quiet he was, I felt really sorry for her. I know TV is of course not RL, but he didn't come over very well. The other guy was more of a twat, in fairness. He really was asking for a good slap.

OP posts:

ShinyAndNew · 10/02/2010 12:35

I haven't watched it, but they make my DH sound glorious. And he answered the nurses phone calling with "Do I have come now though, I have just got to bed? It will take ages won't it?" .

They rang my mum who kicked his ass for me and he was good after that

lorelilee · 10/02/2010 12:35

YANBU. I was completely gobsmacked to find out that the 'hilarious' one was a copper! Lordy, bet everyone in his area feels much safer in their beds having seen that! I also thought the C section partner seemed completely uninterested - not a word of encouragement or consolation when she was v. distressed about the impending op.

smokinaces · 10/02/2010 12:36

Fivegomad - how is their little boy now? Her birth experience and section and everything were so like my DS1's - and when that little lad cried in theatre I bawled.

I thought he was just overwhelmed and quiet.

The dad with the glasses though was a twit - how someone didnt lamp him!

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/02/2010 12:38

They are all doing very well. Their little boy is georgeous.

smokinaces · 10/02/2010 12:39

five, I am so glad! (and far too impatient to have to wait to find out in the next few weeks programmes!!)

letsblowthistacostand · 10/02/2010 12:40

Though the younger dad was just shell shocked but the other one... Don't know how she put up with him. I was more shocked by the son being in the room, I can't imagine having my children see me like that. And the parents were making sex jokes and all sorts! Traumatizing!

Sassybeast · 10/02/2010 12:42

I think the guy with the section just looked shell shocked and didn't know what he was supposed to say or do. I was in FLOODS of tears because I could so empathise with her, even down to the stressing about not having stuff washed Glad to hear that they are all okay

The other guy was a knob but she obviously loved him. I bet he's getting loads of stick today at work. Bloody blown up balloon - I'd have shoved it up his a*!

Original poster

TrickyTeenagersMum · 10/02/2010 12:45

Yes that was another lovely aspect, wasn't it. Copper dad joking about having sex with the mum doggy-style, along with his 18 y old son. Very odd that the son was there, but I suppose you can't blame her as he was the only one to say vaguely "do you want me to hold your hand or something, mum?" and went to get the midwife for help. The Dad was downright pitiful, he was so childish.

OP posts:

rosieposey · 10/02/2010 12:49

I thought that 'policeman' dad was a bit of a dick too but reading between the lines they obviously love each other, have a close family (they must do in order to have let the eldest son in with them) and he must have been pretty supportive in her getting pregnant too because he had a vasectomy reversal and went through IVF with her in order to get pregnant that fourth time.

I agree he didn't come across really well but as someone else has pointed out on a different thread he wasn't in charge of the editing so who knows?

Five I am really glad the baby is doing ok now, he was gorgeous and i really felt for his poor parents Alls well that ends well though

Morloth · 10/02/2010 12:54

I don't know, I just watched it online and the copper dad and mum seemed to have quite a jokey relationship going on. She felt quite comfortable to tell him to shut it and go away and was laughing as well and when it came down to the business end, he was right there.

Depends on the sort of relationship you have, DH and I are always bitching at each other like that so he didn't seem unsupportive to me. DH told me to hold off please when I said it was time to go to the hospital with DS, cause he was online and they were just getting to the good bit (Dark Age of Camelot). He was joking and it made me laugh.

Good to know that Lisa's baby is doing well as well, her husband just looked a bit freaked out by the whole thing.

Alambil · 10/02/2010 13:06

I think Will was absolutely terrified and scared into silence

Steve on the other hand, was a plank.

marl · 10/02/2010 13:37

Came on here just to see if any of you felt the same as me last night! I couldn't believe the 'laughing policeman' - I really could have slapped him, and can't believe she didn't just send him out. To smirk and laugh when your partner is in pain is despicable. What a tool. I don't know how midwives put up with that sort of guy there - guess they see it quite often. But what sort of message was that giving to the son.

dingledangle · 10/02/2010 13:53

An interesting insight into peoples relationship.

i think the younger chap was in shock. I felt I wanted to give Lisa a hug but perhaps that is not what she wanted.

The policeman and his son were hilarious and incredibly childlike in their behaviour. Although son was more 'adult' when dad went out of the room. Tracy did say that their relationship was based on taking the **ss out of each other.

I thought the staff were great too, completely unphased by it all. Look forward to next week.

cheesefarmer · 10/02/2010 14:11

Loved this programme.

Young dad was definitely scared. Felt so sorry for them.

Older dad - he was bloody annoying but I think he was goofing around like that for their son's benefit to try and make light of the situation, so that it wasn't as grim for him. Dunno what the son was doing there in the first place mind you!

SeasideLil · 10/02/2010 14:17

I thought the young guy was probably quite upset, he went from a check to suddenly having a baby with quite severe health problems immediately, and he just went completely quiet and was as white as a sheet. Lisa just cried and emoted- pretty typical reaction I thought for both and I didn't think less of him. They both needed a cuddle.

The policeman was not hilarious whatsoever, but obviously very nervous, even more than his nail-biting son, but the fact that they were both present throughout and obviously very supportive of having a new baby was quite sweet...if you don't have to live with him, even better.

Daisydaydream · 10/02/2010 14:19

I also thought the younger husband looked totally terrified and worried about his wife and baby, not uninterested, but completely overwhelmed by everything that was going on.

GothDetective · 10/02/2010 14:20

Perhaps Will was very supportive and talkative when the camera wasn't filming them? Or maybe its just poor editing?

Even the other "jokey" dad, well yes he would have annoyed me. But I got the impression thats the sort of relationship they had. I think he was trying to disctract her by making her laugh. She was laughing at quite a few of the things he did, so maybe she has the same sense of humour? Some people giggle/smirk when they're worried about things. Not the best reaction but nerves are funny things.

DolceeBanana · 10/02/2010 14:21

Was so wanting to see the programme - and actually blubbed all the way through it!Blame it on the hormones though as have a 4 month old...!! Tears of empathy and symapthy for Lisa, who seemed a lovely sweet girl, coming to terms with having to have a C section and with a little baby with some potential health problems; and tears of bloody hysterical frustration for the poor woman who had the misfortune to have a complete idiot with her, and their poor son, who was acting far more maturely than his Father!!

dingledangle · 10/02/2010 14:23

Often people laugh inappropriately as a way of covering up other true feelings (nervousness/anxiety/worry etc) Did not come across well on camera. I think the policeman was concerned,supportive of his wife.

yummymonkey · 10/02/2010 15:18

Well I found it very amusing, but mainly because she was laughing with him. Of course I would have gone mad if my DH was like that!

bouncingblueberries · 10/02/2010 15:28

Must admit, I couldn't stand my dh even holding my hand during labour - didn't want to be massaged or have my brow mopped, just wanted to be left alone during each contraction. Maybe after 3 babies, they've figured out that it's just best for him to stay out of the way? But, I would have gone mad if my dh had tried to lock me in the loo - joke or not.

pigletmania · 10/02/2010 15:36

I thought that the teenage son of the older lady with the father goofing around was lovely, very calm and cool and mature for his years. Dont think that i would like my teenage son with me when i am in labour fanjo on show and all, might be a bit too in your face.

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