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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the dads in One Born Every Minute were spectacularly unsupportive?

55 replies

TrickyTeenagersMum · 10/02/2010 12:29

Did you see it last night? One was just sitting there looking totally bored and uninvolved while his poor partner got her head round having a c section. The other was goofing around trying to lock his wife into the bathroom when she staggered in for a pee mid-labour, blowing up the blue gloves and poking her with them as she had a contraction, cracking pathetic jokes and generally displaying a mental age of around 13.
Both the mums were just crying out for a bit of "You're doing really well, it will all be fine" and a cuddle. The blokes were rubbish, really rubbish - weren't they?

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 10/02/2010 15:43

that older dad did at least have the good grace to shut up and look concerned when his wife was really struggling towards the end

and that heartbeat was worryingly slow at times...you could tell he was shitting himself and trying not to show it

Morloth · 10/02/2010 15:52

I know AnyFucker, I kept waiting for it to stop, which is probably why they put it in. I had to keep reminding myself not to push for her.

bronze · 10/02/2010 15:52

watching it at first I thought he was a complete twat but when it came to the crunch I thing he stepped up his game. I think the silliness was just his way (and their way) of dealing with things) and maybe his nerves just made him overstep the line occasionallly. I thought the boy did well he obviously was scared and was feeding off his dad but went back to being himself when she got the dad to go. I loved th efact he couldnt resist having a look, I mean he didnt look like he was going to go around boasting about having seen his mums mumff did he, more that he was curious about how it happened.

Will just seemed a quiet lad anyway. I cried when they were explaining what would happen. Last thing I remember before my crash was the anesthe(sp?) telling me what to expect.

Ladyem · 10/02/2010 16:35

Just watched this on catch-up tv and thought it was fab!! I watched it in floods of tears !!! Can I just say how amazing Tracy looked through her whole labour !! Looked like she hadn't even broken a sweat!! I, on the other hand, looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards!! (Both times!!)

At first I thought that the police man was a bit off with his antics, but then as it went on I thought about what a loving home they must have if their eldest son wanted to be there at the birth, too. I think it was just the editing that made him come across as a bit un-caring!!

Glad to hear that Lisa and Will's baby is doing well now.

Those noises,though.... brought it all back!!!

EccentricaGallumbits · 10/02/2010 16:44

Will just looked terrified poor chap. nice to know they are doing well. They seemed like a really nice couple.

Steve, i suspect, was also scared, which probably brought out the worst. But he did act like an arse.

at least neither of them said

'No pain, No gain dear'

as someene I know said to his labouring wife. Now he was a nob.

TheFirstLady · 10/02/2010 17:22

When the midwife told me I was fully dilated with DD1, DH helpfully informed "Never mind dear, that's the worst bit over with." I would like to have that on video to play back to him now.

agedknees · 10/02/2010 17:41

Will looked worried and scared. Lisa looked as if she could have done with a cuddle.

Steve - well maybe it was the editing.

Anyfucker - I was worried about the slow heartbeat as well. Was sat on the edge of the chair until their baby was born.

Looking forward to next week.

Ladyem · 10/02/2010 17:43

DH kept calling me by DDs name during labour with DS. I kept responding with 'I'm not C, I'm Ladyem!!!' I'm sure the MWs thought I was his bit on the side!!!

Longtalljosie · 10/02/2010 17:50

FiveGoMad - how is the baby now?

I agree he just looked terrified.

The policeman, on the other hand, I just wanted to hunt down and slap. I'm sure he'd claim selective editing (they all do when they look bad) but no-one forced him to poke her with a blown up latex glove during a contraction. Idiot.

BalloonSlayer · 10/02/2010 17:57

I thought the joking between contractions aside, which I guess is fair enough if you get a nice long gap between and feel normal, the thing that upset me and had me angry and tearful was the two of them mocking her and impersonating her while she was in agony during her contractions. That would make me feel like I was being tortured.

And them him saying < stupid voice > "I'm gonna do it all naturally!" when she asked about getting pain relief.

I would have liked to have pushed those stupid glasses up his cock and asked him to expel them without pain relief.

And I am not ordinarily a violent woman, you understand.

Icedlemonmuffin · 10/02/2010 18:09

I just found it really strange that the older dad had a suit on !

I thought he was going to a job interview and I think he didn't want to get to close to his wife in case his suit got dirty.

RubyBuckleberry · 10/02/2010 18:47

omg i'm watching it at the moment, it's appalling! i am so grateful for my DH!

RubyBuckleberry · 10/02/2010 18:51

she's getting him back now

decafgirl · 10/02/2010 18:52

I loved watching this last night but couldn't stand the 1st dad. He was so unhelpful and as for trying to lock her in the toilet & poking her with a rubber glove - I wanted to slap him! DH was sat with me saying "bloody hell if I'd said that you'd have killed me!" Too true! Can't wait for next week!

oldraver · 10/02/2010 18:54

Although twit Dad did annoy me I did think it funny when the midwife announced "here's the head" and both son and father looked at the same time

FWIW.. DS1 then 19 was at DS2's birth, by default, I hadnt intended for him to be there but went into labour early, my birthing partner couldn't be there so I wanted him to stay at the hospital just to pass the news on. He stayed in my room (very large, and in a rocking chair in the corner doing his crossword). The Midwife and myself, told him to leave at any point he wanted too but never did

JeremyVile · 10/02/2010 18:57

Does it really matter?

Supportive partner or not you still have to get the baby out yourself.

Does anyone actually give two hoots about what the father is doing?

ChickensLoveMarmite · 10/02/2010 19:02

I would care a lot if the father was taking the piss and giggling while I was in pain, yes. As for the sarky comment when she asked for gas and air...all I can say is he would have been glad he was already in a hospital.

JeremyVile · 10/02/2010 19:02

...and actually I got the impression that (of the older couple) the mum probably felt supported, she seemed to enjoy the, ahem, humour and his company.

Its usually pointless judging the dynamic between others based on what we would find acceptable ourselves. Thats not how it works.

CUNextTuesday · 10/02/2010 19:09

A chum of mine works for the production company that made the series - he said Tracey had a 15 hour labour and obv. this was only 20 mins of it. He also alluded to the fact that if you thought Steve was a jizz-rag, you should see some of the other dads in the series. I'm not sure my blood pressure will hack that - I may need to throw more shoes at the telly...

RubyBuckleberry · 10/02/2010 19:10

"Do you wanna... squeeze my hand or something? Mum?" No.

he doesn't know what to do...

omg he's been born! how brilliant! aaaahh, however unsupportive, they were so there! when she said push, they couldn't help but look haha.

great programme!

Morloth · 10/02/2010 19:11

What is supportive for one person is not for another.

I didn't want to be touched or spoken to at all in labour. So DH mostly sat quietly and tinkered with his PDA/played online games - making the occasional smartarse comment to make me laugh.

At the end when I was pushing he was there to hold my hand/catch the baby/cut the cord but before that, any attempt at gentle talking/stroking would have had me snarling at him to shut the fuck up and go away.

It was their 4th baby, she clearly liked him enough to have 4 children with him and he loved her enough to have a vasectomy reversal and IVF when she wanted another. As JeremyVile says you can't judge someone else's relationship dynamic by your own. You would probably be truly shocked at the way DH and I often interact if you did.

mistletoekisses · 10/02/2010 19:35

As others have said, I think the editing made the older dad come out unfavourably. They obviously love one another and are a close family - I think it is their relationship dynamic...I may have slapped my DH if he acted like that...she herself was trying not to laugh as he joked around.
As it got hairy towards the end, you could see just how much he was trying to hold it together. I know I was bricking it watching it..he definitely was!

Re. the younger dad, I think he was shell shocked and very worried for his partner. She was lying there telling him it was ok to go and see the baby and he was just sitting there stroking her hand. I thought bless you, at this stage you want to be with your lovely partner and make sure she is ok.

I actually thought both the husbands were fine.

RubyBuckleberry · 10/02/2010 19:40

i agree morloth - the way he said it was genuine, and her reply textbook! quality! i was soooo judging at the start - it was so not the whole story, and then at the end its like wooohooo.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 10/02/2010 20:08

I felt more sorry for Lisa the girl who had the CS. The other mum was having her fourth and you could tell that she was fine with the banter and very in control I thought.

I just wanted Lisa to have some support. I wondered if she had a mum because I felt she needed a mum there to actually talk to her and reassure her. Yes her husband is young and was in a scary situation but in the bits that were shown she looked absolutely terrified. Even when that age, I could have be-stirred myself to be more support to someone about to undergo major surgery than her husband appeared to be.

Of course it's very much edited so we can't know the full picture. But his utter silence and her nervous chatting just made me want to scoop her up and take care of her.

ellokitty · 10/02/2010 20:21

I thought the young couple seemed lovely, totally overwhelmed and worried, and just didn't know what to say or do. I thought it was really touching when she told him to go and see the baby. I have to admit I cried when she only got a brief glimpse at the baby before it was whisked away. I felt sooo sorry for them. Glad they had a happy ending.

The older couple, well the dad seem very irritating... but the son seemed lovely (esp when he was on his own), so to raise a lad like that they're obviously doing something right . I also agree that he came through at the end, so maybe that's just the way their relationship works. Didn't stop him annoying me though!

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