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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Quick poll: is it madness to take a 2 week old baby on holiday to France, driving from London to the Dordogne?

110 replies

doodling · 09/02/2010 19:34

(I am regular I have just namechanged BTW)

Or am I being oversensitive in thinking that it is lunacy?

SIL is due in August, we had planned a big family holiday in the dordogne. SIL is due her first baby at the beginning of August and her and her dh are still planning to drive through France down to the Dordogne, for a week's holiday?

Surely these are the ramblings of a clueless first time mother to be? What about any problems that might crop up? She doesn't speak any french.

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 09/02/2010 19:36

What is her due date ? What is the date of the holiday ? Assuming that she hasn't already got a date booked for an elective CS and there is anthing less than a 3 week gap betwwen her due date and the holiday date, then I tend to err on the side of being a little optimistic. Driving through France takes hours surely ?

coldtits · 09/02/2010 19:38

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hahahahahahaaaaaa!

madness

traceybath · 09/02/2010 19:38

Well as long as they're prepared to do a lot of stops.

Also personally I wouldn't have wanted a newborn to be in a carseat for such a long period of time.

coldtits · 09/02/2010 19:39

And what the fuck is she going to do about getting the baby a passport? they don't open their eyes very often, does she know this?

frakkinaround · 09/02/2010 19:39

It does take HOURS. They will also need to factor in stops for baby to come out of carseat and lie flat as well as feeding times.

She should revise her medical French just in case of complications.

I suppose better driving than flying. Is her DH doing all the driving?

What's the fallback if she needs a CS?

Passport for baby?!!!

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 19:40

My response exactly coldtits.

They are planning to stop a lot, to 'take in the vineyards along the way'

LMAO, but what do I, mother of two know?

OP posts:
megonthemoon · 09/02/2010 19:41

The madness in her plan is not so much that she is thinking of driving to the Dordogne with a newborn - as long as they allow time to get there with plenty of stops for feeds etc., they might really love the holiday with family there to help as 2 weeks in you are starting to get really knackered - but that she may be only allowing 2 weeks between due date and going, and her baby could well be pretty late and/or she could have a rough time of it and not be physically able.

It is quite sweet that they really want to join your family holiday

annh · 09/02/2010 19:42

I think it is not impossible to do but can't imagine why anyone would WANT to do a trip like this unless they absolutely had to! When exactly is the holiday in relation to your SILs due date? Is it possible that the baby will be even younger than 2 weeks old? If your SIL has a difficult birth or section, she may well find it uncomfortable to sit for long periods of time and she won't be able to share the driving with your BIL. Baby will be feeding a lot so the journey will take an eternity and she will be horribly hot bf-ing in motorway service stations and the like.

If I had just given birth, I also wouldn't want to take my baby on holiday and be surrounded by other people when I was trying to establish bf, figure out how to change a nappy and which way to hold the baby! I would also be self-conscious about the baby crying at night and waking others in the house up (assuming you are all planning on staying together). I would be very PFB-ish about other children, adults etc making noise so I can't imagine the atmosphere will be very chilled.

Will it matter if they don't come on the holiday or are they paying a portion of the cost? If you are hiring a particular size of house anyway, I would just go ahead and let them pull out when the reality of the post-birth days hits!

wedgiesaurus · 09/02/2010 19:42

Your SIL has completely lost the plot!

JiminyCricket · 09/02/2010 19:42

crazy. you need to tell her.

poppy34 · 09/02/2010 19:44

Eyes open is not a problem as think you get let off when they are that young as there are rules (dd two weeks old in her passport photo - I took her to France on eurostar at 4 weeks which was an effort).

And yes she is mad for all reasons others said but she may be one of these people who are up to it rather than like me who at 2 weeks was wandering if would
ever have a hot drink again let alone drive to France...

PrettyCandles · 09/02/2010 19:45

"The baby isn't going to change our lives at all. She'll just have to fit in with whatever we do."

Yes dear.

No-one, but no-one, ever believes what all parents say to parents-tto-be: "Your lives are going to change beyond all recognition."

annh · 09/02/2010 19:45

Oh yes, completely forgot about the passport! Needed to get one for DS2 when he was very little as we lived abroad. Took 45 mins in the photo shop just to get him to open his eyes.

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 19:46

My Uncle is renting the house, so there will be a few of us going, and we don't have to put towards the cost. Her due date is first week of august, and they are planning to leave on the 26th August. Due to a medical condition, she probably wouldn't be allowed to go overdue, so its her assumption that she would be ready to take the baby on hols a couple of weeks later...

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 09/02/2010 19:46

Going on holiday is fine but I wouldn't embark on a long journey abroad like that. The baby may only be a few days old, the heat may not suit either of them, she will still be bleeding and establishing feeding away from midwives and other sources of support. The baby shouldn't be in a car seat too long, she shouldn't be sitting too long either especially if she's had a section because of higher risk of dvt, she may not know what to pack - or have time to pack. And this is all assuming that she and baby have no serious complications. Or even minor ones - does anybody know the french for 'I think my baby has oral thrush and my nipples are falling off'? I've got a friend who had her first just before Christmas - she was still wearing her pjs all day at two weeks old! YANBU - they are a bit clueless. Just break it to them gently. If they must have a holiday they should go to Paris in May or June for a pre-baby shag break

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/02/2010 19:47

They would be mad to pay any money upfront for this.

DH and I could barely manage a night away at my parents when DS was a month old!

They will spend the whole week getting there and back, unless they are prepared to leave the baby screaming in the back for hours .

nowwearefour · 09/02/2010 19:47

they will be so tired that driving that far is almost certainl not safe. totally and utterly bonkers in my view. not best for baby or for them.

compo · 09/02/2010 19:48

agree with coldtitis, so much it's worth saying again

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hahahahahahaaaaaa!

madness

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 19:48

LOL at the french for 'my nipples are falling off'

I have tried to say something very gently, but clearly I know nothing

OP posts:
annh · 09/02/2010 19:49

Well, given that they will not be inconveniencing anyone by NOT turning up I would just nod when they talk about the holiday and sympathise when, after the birth, they decide that just getting to the supermarket in the first few weeks is an achievement and that perhaps France might be a tad ambitious!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/02/2010 19:51

Ok, just seen they won't have to pay anything.

In that case leave them to their delusions, reality will strike soon enough.

mistletoekisses · 09/02/2010 19:55

OMG! YANBU!

She is either nuts or in denial or both!

  1. If she is planning on bfeeding, then at that point the baby could be hitting the 2-3 week growth spurt and need feeding pretty much hourly for an hour....

  2. She may have stitches/ csection...how does she plan to do a journey that long in a car? Does she have any idea about how delicate she could be feeling?

  3. She cannot put such a small baby in a carseat for such long periods of time...

  4. What will she do if she/ baby get unwell? The first few weeks are when you are grateful to have your GP/MW on hand to see...

  5. Will the travel insurance cover her to travel if she has had a section only 2 weeks before..which is a possibility for anyone..

Then I have to ask...does the rest of the family want a newborn on holiday with them? You have no idea how the baby will be...colic/ reflux etc..could cause a baby to scream for hours on end...does not a relaxing holiday make for anyone.

Please try and talk to her!

GibbonInARibbon · 09/02/2010 19:57

'And what the fuck is she going to do about getting the baby a passport? they don't open their eyes very often, does she know this?'

hmc · 09/02/2010 19:59

We travelled from the South Coast of England to Scotland (about a 7/8 hour car journey) with an 8 week old baby (our first) for a holiday.

It was pissing easy tbh.

She slept for the majority of the time - as they usually do in their first few weeks. There were around 3 stops to feed and change - but so what? It was entirely manageable.

It does not hurt a baby to be in a car seat for that long as a one off (I did specifically ask my doctor at the time) - the guidance about not having babies in car seats for hours on end is for 'low wattage' parents who would be tempted to do this on a regular, habitual basis. Anyhow, I believe you can get supine car seats these days?

We stayed in a hotel and had even booked half board. We would take dd down to dining room in her moses basket asleep. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Personally I think it is far more loony to take long haul flights with ambulant, boisterous under 4s like many seem to do (talk about making work for yourself)- but each to their own.

orienteerer · 09/02/2010 20:00

Yes, tis madness.