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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Quick poll: is it madness to take a 2 week old baby on holiday to France, driving from London to the Dordogne?

110 replies

doodling · 09/02/2010 19:34

(I am regular I have just namechanged BTW)

Or am I being oversensitive in thinking that it is lunacy?

SIL is due in August, we had planned a big family holiday in the dordogne. SIL is due her first baby at the beginning of August and her and her dh are still planning to drive through France down to the Dordogne, for a week's holiday?

Surely these are the ramblings of a clueless first time mother to be? What about any problems that might crop up? She doesn't speak any french.

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
duchesse · 09/02/2010 20:57

To all the people who are saying that it's fine for newborns to have their eyes shut in the photo: I don't think it is any more. Guidelines are changing all the time. These are the current passport photo rules. They are onerous. They do reject applications all the time because of the photo, even for babies.

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 21:01

If I'm brave enough I might print this off and give it to her.

I knew I wouldn't be in the minority...

OP posts:
Undercovamutha · 09/02/2010 21:05

Ah bless them - they'll find out the reality soon enough. Crazy!
I mean of course it can be done in theory - but why would you want to?
Can't think of anything more traumatic tbh!

DarrellRivers · 09/02/2010 21:08

I'm thirding coldtits

hahahahahhahahhahahhhahah haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

happymatleave · 09/02/2010 21:10

We went to France last August with 11 week old ds.

His eyes are closed on the passport and this is fine if they are under 6 months. It's also quite easy to get one quickly if you make an appointment and go to one of the passport offices to have it processed.

Having said that I still think they are mad to travel that far with a baby so young.

happymatleave · 09/02/2010 21:17

I've just looked at the link above, they can have clossed eyes if they are under one year.

happymatleave · 09/02/2010 21:18

closed!

theITgirl · 09/02/2010 21:22

If they really want to go. What about the train?
If you have the space to take travel cots etc (or people can do this between them). That could be possible, the trains in France are supposed to be excellent and at least it is easier to stretch your legs.

Of course this still leaves the problem of getting passports, going overdue etc.

MmeLindt · 09/02/2010 21:28

We got DD's passport within a very short period of time, would have to check but it was a matter of weeks I think. You can get a passport very quickly if you are willing to pay extra for it.

The earliest we did a journey of that length with a baby was when DS was 8 weeks old, a four hour drive. And that was not easy. No way would I attempt to drive across France.

Don't say anything, doodling. They will not accept what you say and it will cause resentment, particularly when they call off.

Actually, I have just remembered that SIL took her 2 week old baby to Italy (from Germany) which was a 7 or 8 hour drive. There was a lot of head shaking and teeth sucking in the family about that. She had a great time though, spent two weeks dozing on the beach under a big umbrella and walking along the prom.

orienteerer · 09/02/2010 22:00

Got DS's passport at 2 weeks but wouldn't attempt the drive (in August).

bellissima · 09/02/2010 22:23

I had to move to Brussels when DC1 weeks old - you just tell passport office its urgent. But when we went on holiday to Italy DH drove overnight and I flew with the baby the next morning. Same going back. Simples! Should be no problem there - lets face it there are decent docs en France and about two pharmacies on every street, should the need arise.

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 22:37

MmeLindt - you are wise, thank you. I've said my piece gently, and I think I should leave it for now, however a mad idea I think it is.

OP posts:
hmc · 09/02/2010 23:05

Lol, selective reading doodling? Mne Lindt also said:

"Actually, I have just remembered that SIL took her 2 week old baby to Italy (from Germany) which was a 7 or 8 hour drive. There was a lot of head shaking and teeth sucking in the family about that. She had a great time though, spent two weeks dozing on the beach under a big umbrella and walking along the prom"

moodlum · 09/02/2010 23:07

Agreed and I am of the teeth sucking school. But I do need to back off on this one (now I know I'm right and just nod sagely rather than sucking teeth!

moodlum · 09/02/2010 23:07

And thus I blow my cover

sanfairyann · 09/02/2010 23:12

lol kerala1, I remember chortling at that letter about the holiday with baby twins as well, was very

quick - op - hide

BigMomma3 · 09/02/2010 23:28

OooooooK then so our plans of driving across Europe in August with a (hopefully) 6 week old probably makes us a very mad box of frogs then!

Family wedding in Europe (VERY far away) and really want to go to show off new DC to DH's parents as they are old and ill and every year DH worries he may not get to see them again .

As long baby is born at 38 weeks (fingers crossed tightly and very regular sex and curry's leading up to that), no complications, i.e. C-section, and 6 week postnatal check all OK, we are planning a 3 DAY drive there 10 day stay and another 3 DAY drive back with LOTS of stops. Baby will be in a lie flat carrycot car seat thingie (around 150 quid and will double up as a moses basket) and we will be travelling with our other 3 DCs in a 7 seater! Have done the trip in car before and DCs were fine - in fact they loved it and baby will only sleep, suck and fill nappies anyway!! Would definitely not fly with such a young baby and can't book flights anyway until baby's born and there won't be any then!!

Are we madder that OP's SIL then?

hmc · 09/02/2010 23:34

Nope - I don't think so!

cat64 · 09/02/2010 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChippingIn · 10/02/2010 01:46

hf128219 Tue 09-Feb-10 20:50:11
It's definitely doable - it really depends on them. Some women are made of strong stuff.

Yep, but it looks like we are in the minority!!

OP - why not leave her to it, she might be able to go, she might not find it as difficult as you seem to think she will - but either way, how about just letting her be an adult and make her own decisions without being all judgeypants and 'know it all' about it?

I'm not trying to be 'mean' - but it really is annoying when people get all up in arms/'know it all' about something they couldn't do, then assume the person who is going to do it, wont be able to either....

Why did you name change?

poguemahone · 10/02/2010 04:06

Passport photo regs have changed for infants, so they don't need to have their eyes open anymore.

But due to burst fanjo I couldn't have sat in a car (or anywhere really) for that long 2 weeks after I had DD.

SofaQueen · 10/02/2010 05:48

Does you SIL have any idea what it is like having a newborn baby? It sounds like she might not, and thinks that life will go on as pre-baby, just one additional passenger.

I would have a serious talk with her, detailing all the gory details of birth, possible complications, and what it is like having a newborn baby. After she has all the information, it will be her choice.

It is a tough enough adjustment in ones own home, in ones own country. But to try and get used to a new baby in a holiday home in a foreign country (where baby products, times pharmacies are open, medical system are different from home) will be problematic. I took DS1 to France for the Christmas holidays when he was 6 weeks old. Prior to this, my mother was with me, so I had 24 hour help. When I got to France (in my DH's family's 2nd home, so familiar to me), it was annoying dealing with trying to bath the baby, finding nappies, laundry facilities (a small baby causes a shocking increase of laundry!) was stressful for everyone, not just me.

I don't think it will be worth it.

chimchar · 10/02/2010 07:05

bigmomma...mad? yes! but you obviously know what you're getting into with a newborn 4th time around, so yours is not a romantic notion of an easy life, it is an educated decision...sounds fab, have a great time!

op, yep, your sil is barking mad....bless. agree, you mustn't say anything at all...if anything she will realise herself that it will be not the right time to go, and be too afraid of the "i told you so" comebacks to back out....

i had a terrible time with my firstborn...dreadful. not everyone has such a hard time though...the thing is, no one knows how they will feel until it happens do they?

have a great holiday with or without your sil!

OtterInaSkoda · 10/02/2010 10:46

[http://www.kiddicare.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdisplayA_475+56_10751_-1_14602_96624_1000 1_14602 Britax lie flat car seat]]

I don't think France is necessarily an issue - it's hardly a developing country and health care there is brilliant, even if sil's French isn't. I also think that it could be wonderful for sil to have all that family around with her newborn, and vice versa.

The journey's going to be a bitch though. I guess much depends on how far they are away from GB ferry ports (if they live in Portsmouth then great, if they live in Leeds, not so great). If they live within easy reach of GB ferry ports and they break up the France side of the journey with an overnight stay in Rennes or somewhere it might be OK...

Would it be better for them to sail down to Santander?

Of course it's been over 9 years since I had my one and only so I am quite possibly as naive as the sil

OtterInaSkoda · 10/02/2010 10:47

Bugger that link!

Britax Lie Flat Carseat