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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Quick poll: is it madness to take a 2 week old baby on holiday to France, driving from London to the Dordogne?

110 replies

doodling · 09/02/2010 19:34

(I am regular I have just namechanged BTW)

Or am I being oversensitive in thinking that it is lunacy?

SIL is due in August, we had planned a big family holiday in the dordogne. SIL is due her first baby at the beginning of August and her and her dh are still planning to drive through France down to the Dordogne, for a week's holiday?

Surely these are the ramblings of a clueless first time mother to be? What about any problems that might crop up? She doesn't speak any french.

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/02/2010 20:00

Is she going to be induced then? So a higher chance than normal that she will end up with a section.

Dear oh dear!

LilRedWG · 09/02/2010 20:00

Ah bless. I'm pulling a face at potentially doing tht drive with a four year old.

annh · 09/02/2010 20:01

Gibbon, given that she is planning a long car-trip holiday with a two week old, I'd say, no, she probably has no idea about how often babies open their eyes - or cry, or feed, or poo, or anything really!

annh · 09/02/2010 20:02

Bu hmc, you didn't need a passport, or the worry of dealing with a foreign language if something went wrong, you had the NHS at hand and it presumably wasn't as hot as it can be in France in August.

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 09/02/2010 20:04

I missed my sister's wedding because she moved the date nr to my due date. I did WARN her I might not be there... I was late, baby was born 3 days before wedding, and I was not prepared to take newborn on a 4hr journey (8 in total for both ways) to a smoky reception venue (was before the law came in).

That aside... would she be able to get a passport in time? Have they factored that in at all? I mean even regarding her not goin over (and who knows, she might be allowed to), it will be quite tricky to manage that, not to mention stressful.

I hadn't even thought about the whole bleeding nipple first time BF arghhhhhhhh what do I do now my baby just vomited blood scenario (it was my blood, as the MW reassured me....). I got thrush BOTH times, and even tho DD was an easy feeder I NEEDED some support with that at least. I want to google the french for "My nipples have thrush, and it is in my baby's mouth"... the dictionary probably only gives the song bird. I think people'd look a bit odd if told someone had a songbird sat on their nipple.

I did manage to say j'ai marche dans la Rosebush once... I still have the scars.

PLUS the car temp is likely to exceed a safe amount.... That puts me off the most I think.

I'd think about doing it again another time, so she doesn't feel like she has missed out, but i would firmly say take care of yourselves and bond as a family

mistletoekisses · 09/02/2010 20:05

hmc - there is a huge difference between a 2 week old and an 8 week old. 6 weeks obviously.

but seriously...2 weeks after both my DS's, i was still resting/ in bed lots. 8 weeks later i was out and about as normal...6 weeks is a big difference when talking postpartum....

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 20:06

I see your point hmc, but a two month old baby is a different thing to a two week old baby, and if things had gone wrong, you'd have just whipped into the nearest GP's surgery where they would have a midwife and speak your language, unlike in this situation

And, mistletoekisses, I couldn't agree more, although its a completely secondary concern for me.. This is a big deal holiday for everyone, its cost others (not us or SIL) a serious amount of ££, and I, personally, think its a little bit selfish to take a newborn on holiday with others. Particularly as we never go on big expensive holidays, and as DH and I will be the only ones in the party who will have had experience of babies - its not like there are loads of mums going to all share the load.

I have to restrain myself whenever we talk about it.

OP posts:
hmc · 09/02/2010 20:06

Lol, no - not quite as hot!

I still think those aspects are do-able. I do agree however, as has been pointed out, that since she may go over her due date, or end up with a section - then scheduling the holiday within 2 weeks of her due date is problematic. If it were 4 or 5 weeks after it would be more reasonable...

orienteerer · 09/02/2010 20:09

I suspect a 2 week old probably shouldn't spend that length of journey in a car seat rather than lying flat??

GothDetective · 09/02/2010 20:11

I drove from the midlands to Zermatt when DD was 3 weeks old. I'd had a section. It was ok but I did get mastitis and have to go to a Swiss hospital to see a Dr, but I can speak French OK.

DD had her passport photo taken when she was 4 days old and her eyes were shut in the photo but they said it was fine because of her age. If you go to one of the passport offices you can get a passport done that day.

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 20:11

They are thinking of getting a carrycot for in the car rather than a car seat. I thought they were really dangerous, but...

OP posts:
wonderingwondering · 09/02/2010 20:13

Yes it may be a bad idea, but more because of the practicalities: getting a passport (we couldn't even get the birth of DS registered for six weeks as the reg office was fully booked) and the fact that sitting in a car seat for hours at a time is not a good idea at such a young age, esp if they are slightly windy (my colicy daughter meant we went anywhere further than half an hour or so by train, so she could lie flat in her buggy, for the first few months!).

But if all they are risking is the crossing cost, then don't say anything - they may have a 4-5 week old baby by then, and I think I'd have been OK to pootle through France by then if the baby were OK in the car seat.

GothDetective · 09/02/2010 20:13

Sorry, pressed post too early.

I meant to say so she may be ok or she may not be - everyone recovers at different rates. For all she knows she could still be in hospital 2 weeks after giving birth. My sister missed my wedding which was 2 weeks afetr I'd given birth as she couldn't sit down long enough to make the car journey as her perinium was sore and that was only a 2 hour journey!

wonderingwondering · 09/02/2010 20:14

I think you can buy safer lie-flat car seats - Jane did them when I looked for DD. About £500 I recall. Cheaper to fly!

Portofino · 09/02/2010 20:14

mad as a box of frogs! Going to the SUPERMSRKET was a big thing 2 weeks post partum!

annh · 09/02/2010 20:16

And in case I am coming across as someone who just lay in state after the birth of my children in poo-pooing this idea, I should say that I took ds1 to Ireland on my own when he was 3 weeks old to my parents' house and we had to move house with ds2 when he was 6 days old (while living abroad) so I do have some idea of what's involved and I still think this idea is very silly!

myhandslooksoold · 09/02/2010 20:19

I'm sure it will be delightful for her to stop at every 'aire' en route to change her locia-soaked sanitary towel and breastfeed.

KERALA1 · 09/02/2010 20:27

This reminds me of the unintentionally hilarious letter in the travel section of the Observer a few weeks ago. A couple who were very "well travelled" were asking for suggestions of where to take their month old twins (TWINS!) on a long haul holiday. Snort. The responses were funny though - everyone agreed probably best not to actually pay for any flights to US/New Zealand. But then I thought myself very intrepid getting to the local park on week 2 with my PFB.

duchesse · 09/02/2010 20:31

Erm, what if the baby is 2 weeks "late"? Or she has a C section? Could go on. Even we don't book holidays before a baby's due and we have had 4 and done some pretty adventurous things with small babies. Going to France with a small baby isn't a problem per se imo as long as she is well. The baby could be 6 weeks old by then and it could be fine. I just wouldn't book anything just yet if I were them.

LunaticFringe · 09/02/2010 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
doodling · 09/02/2010 20:37

I am just practising my sage nodding..

OP posts:
Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 09/02/2010 20:39

OOO yes... I forgot about the infected stitches to the perinium.... It makes me wince even now... OR she could have a birth like my 2nd... I felt fine an dandy. I just wasn't prepared to drive 4 hrs to my sister's wedding when she was 3 days old.

duchesse · 09/02/2010 20:44

We had a passport made for DD3 to travel when she was 8 weeks old. We had to register her sooner than we'd have liked, and had the photo taken at Jessops. Jessops lady said the rules are that they have to have both eyes open and both ears visible in the photo. The baby was 4 weeks old at the time (last September) and it was sodding difficult to get even one photo that met the rules. The Jessops lady wasn't hopeful that we'd mange with such a young baby, and said that it really wasn't worth risking sending in a photo that wasn't right as it would hold up the whole process. They did process her application fairly quickly and we received it within two weeks, but July/August is prime passport renewal time for the Passport Office and I'd be surprised if they managed to turn an application around in less than a fortnight.

Bottom line is, unless the baby is born late June/early July, they won't be with you imo. Count them right out.

duchesse · 09/02/2010 20:47

Oh and last thing- most airlines won't carry babies of less than a fortnight, and the advice is not to fly with babies under three months (although we've always ignored that) so flying to avoid the long car journey may not be possible either.

hf128219 · 09/02/2010 20:50

It's definitely doable - it really depends on them. Some women are made of strong stuff.