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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to BF my 10 month old in A&E?

132 replies

SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 16:17

Took DS to A&E this morning as he'd nosedived off the bed and got a nosebleed. We were seen pretty quickly by the triage nurse, but then had another wait of an hour to see the paediatrician.

So in total, we were in the waiting room about 90 mins, during which time DS would normally have had a nap followed by a feed.

He was ok sitting on my knee for a little while, then understandably got hungry/tired and wanted a feed. So I fed him, discreetly where we were sitting in the waiting room.

Whilst I was feeding him, the paediatrician came to examine him, saw that I was feeding him, and rushed off embarrassed saying he would come back later. He returned 30 mins later and examined DS (who, thankfully, was fine).

Then the dr said that I shouldn't have BF DS in the waiting room as it was too public, and I should have asked for another room to feed in. I was and asked whether anyone had complained, and he said no but that it was inappropriate to feed "a child of that age" in front of everyone.

I was utterly appalled that he, of all people, had said that. Surely paediatricians should be supporting BF mothers, or at least should be in favour of anything that is comforting and/or nourishing to little ones who've had an accident. FWIW, all the other staff in A&E were brill - the receptionists gave DS a teddy bear, and some other patients were playing peekaboo with him to keep him happy. No-one seemed to bat an eyelid when I fed DS, so I was shocked when I was taken to task for it by the Dr.

So, was IBU?

OP posts:
annie987 · 09/02/2010 17:06

You do need to complain. That is disgraceful.

BethNoireNewNameForPeachy · 09/02/2010 17:07

What?

Paed is a completely wrong, complain if you can if not dismiss as an encounter of the bizarre kind.

Check if they have baby friendly status as a hospital (think you can do that online) as they would want to know for sure.

Sidge · 09/02/2010 17:09

Whilst I think that's ridiculous of the doctor to comment like that and deserving of a letter to the head of A&E, I wouldn't be rushing to write to the PCT or press.

It sounds like it's the attitude of a single doctor that's at fault, not the policy of the whole hospital or trust so unless you are told otherwise I would handle it one layer at a time.

eggontoast · 09/02/2010 17:09

Outrageous.

LaDiDaDi · 09/02/2010 17:09

Definitely complain, they will know who saw your DS, not only from his notes but also probably just by looking at the rota for that day.

Paediatricians need to be actively promoting bf as the normal activity that it is, not encouraging mothers to hide away.

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 17:10

that is dreadful, and yes, not typical of the pN care I've had there. I was on a PN ward and all the babies were crying, it's what newborns do. that a bottle should be seen as the fix!!

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 17:10

actually, have I met you, are you friends with another MNer, Y?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/02/2010 17:13

The doctor's attitude towards your breastfeeding your ds was utterly unacceptable - I hope you will be complaining to the hospital.

However, in fairness to A&E staff everywhere, I should point out that an empty waiting room doesn't mean that the staff are all sitting round the back somewhere, drinking coffee, eating biscuits, and taking bets on how long they can make people wait.

Seriously ill patients who came in by ambulance would not have come in through the waiting room, so you wouldn't be aware of them, and there could be several seriously ill patients needing a lot of care from a lot of staff.

I used to be a nurse, and it angers me intensely that people still think that a quiet A&E waiting room means that the whole department is quiet, and thus they should be seen at once, whereas the truth probably is that the staff are up to their elbows in work - you just can't see it.

On a purely pragmatic level, if you are the only person in the waiting room, and the rest of the department is (due to some total miracle) empty, then the staff WILL get you in immediately, see to you as quickly as they can and get you sent onto the ward or home asap - and then they can all have a brew/stock up and tidy the department/sort out the off-duty/catch up on their studying/do some staff training etc etc.

MadamDeathstare · 09/02/2010 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crankytwanky · 09/02/2010 17:18

Jesus H Christ that is obscene behavior from a paed!

Most trusts have a "Baby-Friendly" policy that encourages BFing. This Dr needs to be spoken to.

I'd find out the head of family services and complain to them. And the consultant paed on that day. And the PCT, to be honest.

BouncingTurtle · 09/02/2010 17:20

It doesn't surprise me that a Paed would have that attitude.

It was a Paediatrician who told the MW looking after me to put DS on bottles when he was only a day old because he was apparently hypoglycaemic He was completely wrong and the advice he was giving was completely inappropriate. Luckily my MW gave him a right mouthful, as she knew that I was determined to bf (and I was one of only 3 mums on a very full ard who wanted to bf) - one of the other MWs told me they had a huge row lol. This was at a Baby Friendly hospital as well!

TeaOneSugar · 09/02/2010 17:24

If you write to the PALS department, they will ask the A&E head of department to investigate, the name of the doctor will be in the notes.

If you want to copy the letter to the PCT who commissions A&E from the hospital, I'd suggest addressing it to "Head of Acute Commissioning" so it gets to the right department and maybe also to the "Head of Children's commissioning", who will have some responsibility for breastfeeding take up in your area.

foxytocin · 09/02/2010 17:26

"Copy your letter to the head of the A&E, the hospital itself chief executive and the trust which funds the hospital."

also to the head of obstetrics and gynaecology and to the head of midwifery.

please say which city in the north east. i am up for a feed in. i'm also tandem feeding and though dd1 is nearly 5 and down to a few feeds a week, she'll think her fifth birthday, christmas and easter all came rolled into one if i were to offer her a feed during the day.

someone here will no doubt link the
NICE Guidelines / DOH guidelines on breastfeeding to send handily along with your letter. 1 finger typing at the mo, or wld do it myself.

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 17:32

foxy it's uhnd

foxytocin · 09/02/2010 17:34

xposts - i see, uhnd. [grr]

being of indian origin has nothing to do with it. muslims are v pro bfing to at least 2yo and hindus, sihks, etc have breastfeeding as the cultural norm well into toddlerhood.

no excuse for this fuckwittery.

LazyJourno · 09/02/2010 17:55

Complain. Disgusting.

Can you recommend the doctor be sent for training? He's obviously not read DoH or WHO best practice on breast feeding. I mean, it's not like you can google the policies or anything

logrrl · 09/02/2010 18:12

YANBU!

Speaking as an NHS employee, as well as a BF mother PLEASE complain. This is shocking .

Original poster
SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 18:17

Will deffo complain to the hospital, at all various levels, thanks everyone for steering me in the right direction.

StealthPolarBear, I don't think I know you, am not aware of knowing any MNers in RL, but it is possible.... Would be nice to know you though - sounds like you (and foxytocin) are local to the NE as well? Are there many MNers in the area? Do you all meet up?

OP posts:
skidoodle · 09/02/2010 18:36

"a child of that age"? 10 months? Ffs

he thought it better that a baby who'd had a fall was denied food and comfort than that a few adults were possibly made to feel a bit uncomfortable?

If you're waiting in a&e you don't just go and find yourself a private room, even if you would like some privacy.

beammeupscotty · 11/02/2010 00:26

Its a bit extreme to complain to the hospital. I'd have better things to do with my time. All he did was express an incredibly stupid crass opinion, which you should have challenged at the time. He sounds very inadequate to be embarrassed at this normal act of nurturing a baby. Its not as if he was incompetent, just ignorant.
As for the waiting time, it was unusually long, but there is usually only one pead around on call in a&e. It reminds me of an older sister when I was working in a&e - the waiting room was heaving and one man with a earachy child complained to her very rudely. She took him into the Resus room where the paeds and doctors were working frantically to save the live of a very sick baby. She informed him all the doctors were in Resus and asked him, if it were his child who needed resuscitating where would he prefer these doctors to be. He apologised and even told the people in the waiting room where all the doctors were. Sometimes there are delays, but children are usually seen quickly. It would be sad to complain as a complaint about the action of one inadequate dr reflects on all the staff in that department.

LetThereBeRock · 11/02/2010 00:28

YADNBU.

PrincessBoo · 11/02/2010 00:30

YA certainly fucking NBU!

What a total knobhead. Complain.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 11/02/2010 00:33

No, he didn't just express a crass opinion. This is the problem:

"Whilst I was feeding him, the paediatrician came to examine him, saw that I was feeding him, and rushed off embarrassed saying he would come back later. He returned 30 mins later and examined DS (who, thankfully, was fine)."

His embarrassment about breastfeeding led to a further 30 minute delay for a baby with a head injury. I realise it was a minor one, but he didn't know that at that point - he hadn't examined him.

And then he scolded the OP for 'inappropriate' behaviour. It's pretty inappropriate to allow your precious delicacies to get in the way of doing your job as a doctor, to me.

LuckySalem · 11/02/2010 00:43

and this is one of the reasons I couldnt bring myself to breastfeed DD in public and would rush home every 2 hrs in case she needed feeding.

lowrib · 11/02/2010 01:23

hmmSleep you're right that in Scotland the Dr would actually have been breaking the law to ask the Op to stop feeding. In England and Wales sadly this isn't the case.