Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to BF my 10 month old in A&E?

132 replies

SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 16:17

Took DS to A&E this morning as he'd nosedived off the bed and got a nosebleed. We were seen pretty quickly by the triage nurse, but then had another wait of an hour to see the paediatrician.

So in total, we were in the waiting room about 90 mins, during which time DS would normally have had a nap followed by a feed.

He was ok sitting on my knee for a little while, then understandably got hungry/tired and wanted a feed. So I fed him, discreetly where we were sitting in the waiting room.

Whilst I was feeding him, the paediatrician came to examine him, saw that I was feeding him, and rushed off embarrassed saying he would come back later. He returned 30 mins later and examined DS (who, thankfully, was fine).

Then the dr said that I shouldn't have BF DS in the waiting room as it was too public, and I should have asked for another room to feed in. I was and asked whether anyone had complained, and he said no but that it was inappropriate to feed "a child of that age" in front of everyone.

I was utterly appalled that he, of all people, had said that. Surely paediatricians should be supporting BF mothers, or at least should be in favour of anything that is comforting and/or nourishing to little ones who've had an accident. FWIW, all the other staff in A&E were brill - the receptionists gave DS a teddy bear, and some other patients were playing peekaboo with him to keep him happy. No-one seemed to bat an eyelid when I fed DS, so I was shocked when I was taken to task for it by the Dr.

So, was IBU?

OP posts:
fifitot · 09/02/2010 16:37

What an idiot. Goes against the breastfeeding policy of NHS at the very least.

How terrible and pathetic of him. I would complain but suggest the paediatrics section of that hospital have some training in how to support breastfeeding mothers.

EightiesChick · 09/02/2010 16:37

A paediatrician said this? Words fail me.

Letter to the hospital asking for them to investigate and to confirm that they welcome and support breastfeeding anywhere in their hospital, in line with NHS pro-breastfeeding policy.

But for speed, I would contact PALS or whatever your hospital calls its complaints line, and tell them that you are going to the local press with this. Bet that gets them off the mark more quickly.

Doesn't matter that you didn't get his name; the records will show who treated your DS.

EcoMouse · 09/02/2010 16:45

Letter to hospital, trust and MP.

Then report him for harassment

He's fluffing ludicrous!!

kinnies · 09/02/2010 16:46

'A child of that age'
WTF!!
10mths is hardly extended bf and even if you had been feeding an older child, the pead was just so bloody out of order.
What a twunt.

Lymond · 09/02/2010 16:46

Terrible! Please complain... It wasn't the John Radcliffe was it?

Only, I was at an out-patient appt for another of my DC at the JR, about 4 years ago, and had a similar run-in with a Dr. He kept offering me a side room to bf in, but as there were no toys for my older DC to play with in there, I kept saying "No thank you". I wrote a letter of complaint, as he ended up making me feel uncomfortable by saying "It will make other patients, and staff, more comfortable if you breastfeed in private." WTF?
The letter I got in response said that the Dr in question is fully supportive of bf but had a religious objection to "women being placed in a position where they needed to bare their flesh in public" and that he had received further training as a result, the situation would never be repeated, not their policy to give side rooms unless requested, blah blah blah. I felt uncomfortable pursuing it any further, as didn't want to appear Islamaphobic. But felt like writing back to say that I wasn't baring my flesh, and that I'd appreciate an apology.

EcoMouse · 09/02/2010 16:46

Glad your DS is fine

Bucharest · 09/02/2010 16:48

Please let's all complain with you!
Haven't sent a fvckety email for, erm, about a week, and am feeling the urge!
Glad ds is OK!

Bucharest · 09/02/2010 16:49

definitely at the 90 minute wait. I had to accompany a 14 yr old with a hypochondriac mother sprained wrist last year, and we were raced through......

Original poster
SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 16:53

Oooooh, definitely a letter coming on. And maybe I will contact the press (getting possibly carried away now). No, Lymond, it wasn't the John Radcliffe. We are based in the NE. Possibly a similar situation though - the Dr was of Indian origin so may have had a religious objection to the whole "baring the flesh" thing. Though, as you say, I didn't feel I was particularly exposing myself - I have BF DS for 10 months all over the place and we are pretty proficient at it now!

I will definitely compose a strongly worded letter and send it all over the place. If anyone else in the NE wants to stage a BF sit-in, perhaps we should alert the media.

OP posts:
LittleSilver · 09/02/2010 16:54

Get his GMC no (easily identify him from your DS notes) and copy your letter to the GMC as well. That is appalling. Please can you tell us what feedback happened when you get it?

EcoMouse · 09/02/2010 16:54

Lymond, he'd have struggled if he'd encountered my Dsis feeding. She used to whip her whole top off (+ bra-less) to feed, regardless of where she was!

Strangely (given the stories here) no one ever gave her a hard time.

I think that was due to the accompanying jutting of chin and icy glares

Original poster
SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 16:56

And yes I thought the waiting time was rubbish for a 10 month old. He'd fallen on his head, for goodness sake, had a nosebleed and been sick. He had a big old bruise on his forehead (carpet burn, really), bloody nose, and was very upset. Really thought we should have been seen faster. I could see a long wait in store when the triage nurse said "oh, well, they all do that don't they. I expect he's your first, you'll get used to it."

He is my first, and maybe I was being a bit pfb about it, but I think she was too dismissive. Perhaps I'll mention her in my letter too - presumably she dictated how fast we were seen by the dr.

Grr. The more I think back on the whole experience, the more I am at the lot of them.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 16:56

i'm in the NE
uisually up for this biut...A&E urgh
maybe the cafe
give me initials and a clue!!

Bucharest · 09/02/2010 16:57

Surely to feck wherever he's from he's seen enough flesh in his profession not to be offended?

Lymond, outraged at your treatment as well. You don't like flesh but like tinkering with things, you become a car mechanic not a bloody medic!

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 16:58

and if it helps i'll tandem feed a 3yo and a 21wo, not that i usually do that in public think i'll deserve to get myself a huge choccy cake for that

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 16:58

lol Bucharest

Original poster
SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 16:59

StealthPolarBear, just kidding about the BF sit-in. But, FYI, it was the UHND.

OP posts:
Prinpo · 09/02/2010 16:59

Deffo deffo deffo complain in writing. I had a similar incident a few years ago with a very snotty nurse telling me that I really shouldn't feed in the waiting room as people might get offended. I sought out the breastfeeding co-ordinator for the hospital and talked to her about it. She said it was very useful "ammunition" (her words) for her to be able to use in training medical staff and that she would talk directly to the nurse involved. She also thanked me for coming directly to her and indicated that had I chosen to go to the press then it would have been very bad PR for the hospital........ (I mention that only because, as he's a doctor, he may be less likely to get a good bollocking from someone as lowly as a breastfeeding co-ordinator so you may want something else you can resort to).

I would write the strongest of letters, spelling it out very clearly and letting them know that you want this particular doctor to be sent on suitable training. I would demand to know what action has been taken as a result of your bringing it to their attention.

Christ, I've had a shit day and it's lovely to feel a bit of righteous indignation on your behalf! Best of luck.

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 17:00

thats my closest & i have never ever had a problem in there

StealthPolarBear · 09/02/2010 17:00

thats my closest & i have never ever had a problem in there

brockleybelle · 09/02/2010 17:00

??????????????? Seriously?????? A paediatrician?? How utterly bizarre.

1of4 · 09/02/2010 17:01

I live in the NE and would love to stage a BF sit-in, unfortunately my littlest gave up breastfeeding sometime ago. I think you almost have a moral obligation to complain! So that the dr in question can get some appropriate training. We can change the world one individual at a time!!

EcoMouse · 09/02/2010 17:03

oh yes, definitely GMC too.

Original poster
SlightlyDoolally · 09/02/2010 17:05

Well, maybe I was just unlucky. But when DS was born (and we were in for 3 nights after a nasty labour), the midwife on night 2 tried really hard to persuade me to give him a bottle of formula because he was crying and "keeping the other babies awake". Well, yes he was crying, but it was a post-natal ward, ffs, so they were all crying and awake. Luckily, I was confident enough to refuse the formula option because I was determined to BF and I knew the milk would come in soon. And it did, and DS remained on the 91st centile. He certainly wasn't about to fade away having to wait for a bit for his milk.

But that midwife ignored me for the rest of her shift, despite me being laid up with a load of stitches following a 3rd degree tear, and a nerve-damaged leg which meant I couldn't walk very well. So actually, I have a (brief) history of lack of support from that hospital. But I know others who have had much more positive experiences - just patchy care I guess.

OP posts:
MrsC2010 · 09/02/2010 17:06

You should be able to find out who he was, try speaking to the nursing station under some pretence or other.

Swipe left for the next trending thread