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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has given my name to the police...

65 replies

PrammyMammy · 08/02/2010 23:56

I know i anbu here, but what can i do?

My sister is 21, a single parent to a 4 yo dd. She has never really had a group of friends since having her dd and has started hanging with this kind of rough group. I know one of them sells drugs, not heroin, but most others.
Anyway, on Saturday night she was at one of her new friends flat, having a drink. My mum had her dd. One of the neighbours called the police on them because if the noise. Turns out there were under age drinkers in the flat too and the police ended up taking everyones names. I'm not sure what went on exactly, or why they wanted everyones names but my sister pretended to be me. Gave them my name, address and number. I have not heard from them, and she told me herself last night. I didn't really know what to say, i explained that she could get in trouble for lying, but she just laughed it off and said that they couldn't prove she isn't me (!!).

I'm angry at her, but don't really want to cause a family riff. What would you do?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 08/02/2010 23:57

why did she give your name? That's awful.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 08/02/2010 23:59

I don't even know, i don't have a clue. It seems maybe she isn't telling me something. Would the police ask for everyones name if the music was too loud?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 09/02/2010 00:01

sorry I don't know.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/02/2010 00:01

You will be able to prove to the police that you are you, and then they will know that she was lying to them.

This has to be one of the most selfish and thoughtless things I have ever heard of - she clearly has no thought or care for you and the trouble she might get you into.

I would be tempted to tell her that if she doesn't tell the police she was lying, that you will, and you will be able to prove your identity, and give them her details. But I guess it is easy for me to say that, and would be hellishly difficult to do.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 09/02/2010 00:01

YANBU id be fuming!!! sod the family riff, tell her that was a stupid, immature and potentially risky thing to do!

I do really hope nothing comes of it!

BAFE · 09/02/2010 00:02

In the unlikely event that the police contact you tell them that someone else must have given your name as it wasn't you.

You've gotta pull your sister up on this, sorry. You have every right to be angry and you need to tell her in no uncertain terms.

Also tell her if she does it once more, you'll tell the police yourself exactly what she's doing.

KurriKurri · 09/02/2010 00:04

She could get herself in trouble and get you in trouble.

I'm not surprised you're angry, I'd be absolutely fuming. I'm not sure what you can do (I think there are a few police officers on here who will hopefully come along and advise better than I can).

If it were me I'd tell dsis she'd better go and own up to the police, or I'd tell them myself. The rest of your family should support you over this.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 00:06

I was at a party on the night. I have plenty of photos of me and friends all saved with the date and time anyway so i could def prove it if i needed to.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 09/02/2010 00:06

Is there any way you can prove where you were that night - were you with others?

KurriKurri · 09/02/2010 00:08

x-posts -thats good. Still think she should own up, not wait until they catch her out.

BitOfFun · 09/02/2010 00:08

What a feckin' liberty!

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 00:09

yes, one of my friends is moving away and he had held a party in his home as a last party kind of thing. I was with lots of people. Lots of photos on my phone.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 09/02/2010 00:23

silly girl. what was she thinking? i hope nothing comes of it but i would come down very hard on her for that.

butterscotch · 09/02/2010 00:28

I'd be tempted to teach her a lesson by calling the police and speaking to the community liasion officer and telling them exactly what she has done get them to visit her and scare her! She is bang out of order!

Tinuviel · 09/02/2010 00:30

What a stupid thing to do. I would definitely contact the police if she refuses and say that you weren't there and that someone gave your details.

For some people this could be potentially a very serious issue. For example, if there were drugs at the party, a teacher could be barred from teaching for just being there.

She was completely irresponsible.

CheerfulYank · 09/02/2010 00:32

I agree with butterscotch. This could turn out to be serious for you.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 00:44

I might just do that. I have thought about it all day, but wasn't sure if that was maybe a bit harsh. I haven't said anything to my dp yet, he would hit the roof.

OP posts:
CillySunt · 09/02/2010 00:54

Cheeky cow

MadamDeathstare · 09/02/2010 01:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 09/02/2010 02:57

This is a serious betrayal by your sister, and also possibly a crime on her part to lie to the police? (obstructing justice?) She doesn't sound like a person mature enough to be in charge of her own child, imo.

ChippingIn · 09/02/2010 03:27

It was a very stupid & thoughless thing to do. I expect she probably panicked and thought you would be able to prove you weren't there... stupid, but probably not malicious. I would be telling her in no uncertain terms that she'd better not do it again or I would be reporting her to the police next time.

I wouldn't go to the police this time, but I'd keep the photos (forever!) so that I could prove it wasn't me if questioned about it - I also wouldn't say I knew it was her if they came asking about it - sister & all that, it's not like she's been in a hit & run or anything....

Vivia · 09/02/2010 08:04

Absolute betrayal and a crime. Call her on it. Call the local police and explain. She deserves the shock.

senua · 09/02/2010 08:11

Is there any chance that she didn't actually do it, and it's all a wind-up?

Morloth · 09/02/2010 08:14

Absolutely not on, definitely call the police yourself and make it clear exactly what has happened. Tough luck if she doesn't like it, where the hell does she get off thinking this is acceptable?

dixiechick1975 · 09/02/2010 10:38

I'd contact the police.

A few years ago BIL was arrested after a heated argument with his gf and she said he'd hit her. Kept in cells overnight. DH went (he's a solicitor)

Police said to DH he has all these outstanding warrants etc, DH says no first time in trouble - I know he's my brother.

Turns out DH's cousin (blacksheep of family) had been giving BIL's details for years - fortunately it got straightened out and BIL was released.

Certainly affected how the police perceived and treated him and BIL only avoided being taken before the court because DH could give all the info re the cousin.