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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has given my name to the police...

65 replies

PrammyMammy · 08/02/2010 23:56

I know i anbu here, but what can i do?

My sister is 21, a single parent to a 4 yo dd. She has never really had a group of friends since having her dd and has started hanging with this kind of rough group. I know one of them sells drugs, not heroin, but most others.
Anyway, on Saturday night she was at one of her new friends flat, having a drink. My mum had her dd. One of the neighbours called the police on them because if the noise. Turns out there were under age drinkers in the flat too and the police ended up taking everyones names. I'm not sure what went on exactly, or why they wanted everyones names but my sister pretended to be me. Gave them my name, address and number. I have not heard from them, and she told me herself last night. I didn't really know what to say, i explained that she could get in trouble for lying, but she just laughed it off and said that they couldn't prove she isn't me (!!).

I'm angry at her, but don't really want to cause a family riff. What would you do?

OP posts:
LouMacca · 09/02/2010 11:36

I understand that you don't want to cause a family riff but your sister wasn't exactly thinking this way when she gave your name to the police.

Agree with what some other posters have said you should call the police and explain. I am shocked that your own sister would put you in this awful position.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 11:36

Jeezo Dixiechick, that is shocking. Wonder what the heck was going through his head to make him think he would actually get away with it!

I don't think it is a wind up. I called her this morning regarding it and she told me to stop being paranoid. She said she thinks she gave them my old address, (i just moved in October), and they never follow these things up.Hmm. Will that not make me look even worse?

So if i do ever get into an argument or play my music too loud (my neighbours probably hate the wheels on the bus as much as me ha) And i have to talk to the police, they will think. "oh this is the one that gets under agers drunk and gives the wrong address, just stick her in a cell"?? arghhh.

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 09/02/2010 11:41

so not acceptable - call her back and tell her she's got until 4pm to contact the police and admit she gave the wrong details or you'll be calling to give them her correct contact information. Then hang up, and do it.

amber1979 · 09/02/2010 11:42

Contact the police and set the record straight. If you don't, what's to stop her doing this again?

If you do this and police pull her up on it, you'll actually be doing your sister a favour.

As in giving her a sharp lesson in: actions = consequences.

littleducks · 09/02/2010 11:46

Oh dear, this could cause you problems in the future

I know someone who was stopped in a car by the police (for a routine stop) gave his name and when they checked it on the computer his name was listed as an alias for his brother and he was arrested and had major trouble over it.

aSilverLining · 09/02/2010 11:53

Call the police and tell them. I would be absolutely fuming, what a betrayal from your sister! You have said yourself one of her friends sell drugs - your name is now most likely grouped with that person.

Just call and get it over with, who is going to side with her?! What she did was horrid and she ought to be ashamed of herself.

I can't see it being just underage drinking - if it was something that minor she would have given her own name and address wouldn't she????

WeddingDaze · 09/02/2010 11:59

Exactly ASL If it was nothing why didn't she give her own name?

She told you to stop being paranoid? What was she being when she gave your name if it was nothing?

gagamama · 09/02/2010 12:06

They must have been very under-age drinkers considering (if I'm not mistaken, please someone correct me if I'm wrong) that supervised drinking in the home is legal from something like 5 years old?

Something sounds weird about the whole thing, she hasn't told you the whole story and I would be very concerned that your name is now connected with it.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 12:07

Yeah, i made that point, i mean surely if they were called out about the noise, they would just tell them to turn it down, they wouldn't ask for everyones name and address that was present?
And it must have been bloody loud for them to come out for that in the first place? We had a halloween party as a housewarming thing when we moved in here, about 30 people, and no police were called. From what i make out, there were only 6 of them.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 12:11

Gaga, they were not under 5 lol. It was her friends niece and her friends, they were 15 and 16.
But i dont think that law covers people being really drunk. I mean i am sure they would have to step in if say a 6 year old was falling over themselves pissed? Does it not just mean a glass of wine spritzer at a dinner party or something?

OP posts:
4littlelions · 09/02/2010 12:17

OP - your sister is a wrongun but this wants dealing with 'in house'. Lets face facts the damage is done, once your name is in the police system it isn't ever coming out and they'll use it against you given half a chance. Even if your sister goes to the police and 'holds her hands up' it will look dodgy.

You wanna concentrate you efforts on getting her shot of her current company

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 12:18

I just text her :-

Hey, i have just been reading up online and i am quite concerned that my name has been involved with breach of the peace and supplying under age drinkers. It says online that it could stop me getting jobs with children etc in the future. Could you please call thye and say you gave the wrong name, I really don't want this coming back on me.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 12:26

What an idiot she is. She just text me back and said she was joking. She said she didn't give my name. That was Last night she told me, and this morning, so twice she has openly spoken about giving my name. Twice when sober. Now as soon as i ask her to call them she says she didn't do it. Oh i could strangle her.

OP posts:
4littlelions · 09/02/2010 12:29

Do you belive her this time?

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 09/02/2010 12:29

That sounds like bollocks to me. i would call the police and check if it were me.

IncontinentiaBotox · 09/02/2010 12:30

selfish little bitch

I don't believe she was joking, I think she's just saying that now to weasel out of owning up

I would text her and say that you don't believe her - she was more convincing the first two times - and that if she isn't going to ring the police you will do it yourself

Kick ass here - she's done something really stupid and nasty and you can't "be nice" and let it fuck up your reputation

WeddingDaze · 09/02/2010 12:30

Of course she'll say that as she know giving the wrong name to the police is very very wrong!

I'd be tempted to phone the police myself and say you have heard that someone gave your name to them at a call out and wanted to make sure that they were aware it wasn't you.

aSilverLining · 09/02/2010 12:34

bollocks she is lying to you

call them as weddingdaze says and find out for sure, you will have to or it is going to be this niggling little doubt at the back of your mind.

elmofan · 09/02/2010 12:43

OMG your sister is nasty on our behalf , the bloody cheek of her , op i really think you should phone up the police station yourself & sort this out , what happens if your sister uses your name in the future involving a more serious crime ?

MadamDeathstare · 09/02/2010 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PrammyMammy · 09/02/2010 12:52

I just called them. They can't give me any advice without her friends address. I know the street name, but that is about it!

OP posts:
aSilverLining · 09/02/2010 12:56

Oh fgs surely they can put your details in, or the street and the date of call out to friend's address? What a load of bollocks! I wouldn't let it lie, call again you might get someone more helpful.

2rebecca · 09/02/2010 12:58

The street name should be enough if they were called out.
I would have definitely called the police. I would also be very angry with my sister for using my name, if she wanted to lie she could have made a name and D of B up. Using your sisters name is really nasty. I presume you dislike each other for that level of betrayal.
I wouldn't want my name on a police file.

4littlelions · 09/02/2010 12:59

the details, if ever given, will be in some plod's notebook until they get round to writing up the incident. If there were no arrests this might not be for a while, if at all

elmofan · 09/02/2010 13:00

i would pop into the police station then if that's possible & explain everything , then keep the police-persons name & badge number you spoke to that way if anything does ever come of this situation it will go in your favour that you made a record of things iykwim . As for your sister , id have nothing more to do with her until she grows up tbh