to allow DS of 13 to eat a biscuit before dinner?

[boilinthebag]

DP flies into a rage if I turn a blind eye to this, which I do from time to time. Now a huge sandwich I would veto, but I just can't summon the energy to get excited about a biscuit. It's different upbringings. In my (middle class) family food was around and available and we all enjoyed our meals, but my mother wouldn't bother herself if we nibbled beforehand sometimes. Also - sometimes I get hypoglycaemic if I wait too long to eat, so I just think - don't suffer, eat!
My DP looks back and in his mind's eye he sees the setting of the farmhouse table, the 'come right NOW or else', the rigid rules, the 'eat everything up' mentality. In my relaxed family, we used to drift in to the table with our books. But we knew if we left it too late there might be nothing there, so we did come.
I want harmony above all things in my house, and I also wish to hell he would just leave it to me!!
He starts yelling and moaning at him. It's not pretty. I don't want issues over food. Everyone gets upset.
AIBU?

I think a biscuit before dinner is fine.

Depends how far before dinner.

YANBU
A biscuit is hardly going to ruin an appetite, my mum used to always say "Think of the poor babies in Africa who are starving!" if I didn't eat my dinner. Which of course made no sense because if I ate it they would still be starving and I would've felt worse about them
The day I start saying stuff like that, shoot me, please.

YANBU
A biscuit is hardly going to ruin an appetite, my mum used to always say "Think of the poor babies in Africa who are starving!" if I didn't eat my dinner. Which of course made no sense because if I ate it they would still be starving and I would've felt worse about them
The day I start saying stuff like that, shoot me, please.

Me too.

Life's too short.

Though I'd rather have a nice glass of wine and a bowl of olives

I think you and your dp need to decide what the rule is and stick to it. It's not good to be telling your ds different things, he will play you off against each other if he realises you're not united.

Personally I wouldn't mind the occasional biscuit but if this really bothers your dp maybe you could compromise and say 'no snacking within 30 mins before a meal'.

send him to the boxroom, that's what I say.

MdmeDef: I'm not the boxroom person if that's what you mean!

Well, if you aren't, and you do understand why one might think so, I do think you should never have let it get to this stage.

Flying into blind rages over biscuits is just mad. And you know it.

everyone is obsessed with the bloody boxroom this weekend!

In a younger child I might have said no biscuit before dinner. But a 13yo is halfway to being grown up; I just think it's ridiculous to fuss about small things when they get to that age; why not let your ds decide for himself what he can handle before dinner time.

I think that if you know your dc well enough (as you seem to do) you will know full well if a biscuit will or won't "spoil" his appetite for his meal.

However you and dp need to come to some kind of agreement. I don't have teenagers but from what I know of some of them, perhaps you should be glad that he is in the house waiting for his dinner, biscuit or not!

cornsilk, its not an obsession, more of an observation!

I so agree. It's mad and I wish I could have not let it get to this stage. It always takes me by surprise. We're trundling around relatively happily in the kitchen and suddenly - BOOM - world war three is breaking out. Wish I had a boxroom to send him to.
Yeah - all good advice. Men are weird.

What do you mean shineon? Do you mean I am a freak?

No, men are not weird. Your DP is.

fliesinto a rage eh???

leave him!!

Depends how far before dinner. If withing half hour of dinner then no, although will sometimes allow crisps which is a bit illogical but sweet stuff before a meal is just wrong to me. The crisps are generally if dinner running late.
I'm happy with midafternoon snacks, just not right before a meal.

I have a 13yo and though a perfectly pleasant and sensible and mature person, she does not take kindly to being micromanaged like a 2yo.

shineon - well come on explain yourself a little - or I may come over all paranoid. Do you need a multiple choice? freak to accept DP's behaviour? freak to complain about a trivial thing like a biscuit? freak to exist? Treat me as slow.

cory: you sound a nice mum to have. That's what I am like. A teen needs some respect.

Indeed weird all about a biscuit...

I would probably not let my younger dc have a biscuit, it would spoil their appetite, but even my 8 y old I would be happy with (but then he would eat all his dinner plus more anyway). a 13 told...???

would he let you have a biscuit???