to never want to leave my baby?

[eggontoast]

DD9wks. Second child. I just do not want to go anywhere without her. The thread that joins us wont stretch far enough yet.

I bf and do not want to leave her with bottles. I just don't want to risk her crying for me.

DH does not mind, but I have had some comments from others, that I am being unreasonable.

All too soon, she will be running away from my cuddles like my DS 3.4. I don't think it is wrong to totally devote my time to her through her first year or two?

This is what my instinct is telling me to do.
Am I alone in feeling like this?

ie. missed christmas do, take her with me to a meal for someones leaving do, miss sil hen do which is overnight in Sheffield etc.

Fair enough, I assumed that as she can't express by 'introduce a bottle' she meant introduce a bottle of formula.

My dd wouldn't take a bottle at all but would use a beaker from 7 months so it was easier for dh to take her out from that point and for me to know that she wasn't reliant on me for a drink.

violet - I agree about using EBM in bottle. We introduced the bottle to DC1 too late for him to take to it - by 8 weeks he was a committed breastfeeder and flatly refused anything else. It wasn't my preference, and by the time I was willing to go out in the evenings, or wanted to have time out alone in the day, I was denied that choice until he was solidly weaned. Needless to say, with DC2 I shall have everything ready to introduce the bottle LONG before the birth!

However, as you say, if it is the OP's choice that's different. True about the OP's OH, though, I wonder how he feels.

"My DH and DS do not have a problem with it at all; hubby thinks it would be good if I could have some time to myself, but understands that I don't feel the need. He certainly does not feel he needs time alone with her"

She's happy, dh is happy, ds is happy, dd is happy, then there's no problem.

My dd was very sleepy and jaundiced as a baby and we tried introducing a bottle of expressed milk early on as she was too sleepy to latch or stay awake to feed for long enough. She would not take it and as her latch improved and the jaundice went, she was even more adamant that she wanted it direct from source. We persevered for several weeks, trying a bottle every few days just so we had options but she never, ever took it. She would drink from a cup occasionally though so that's always an option for babies who can't or won't take a bottle.

Eggontoast, I just wanted to say you sound like a wonderful Mum. These baby moments go so fast, you'll never get them back so why not make the most of them and enjoy every second? Your DD must feel tremendously loved and secure, and if your DH and DS are equally happy then great! I hardly think you'll look back on your life and regret missing a Christmas do. I'm certainly not having a go at anyone who prioritises differently, but I admire how much you genuinely seem to enjoy your child and being a Mum.

YAtotallyNBU you sound lovely.

I think as time goes on, you will find leaving her a bit easier. But you are right - this time we have when are LOs are wee is so so precious and i can't actually think of ANYTHING more important than being with them. I do think that as time goes by it is important for them to learn to be with other people and not just mum. I proabably have been too Pfb over my psb am a bit of my friends who are gadding off to weddings leaving their two month old ds with grandparents overnight - i know i could never have done it and tend to think it was a bit selfish of them, but hey - their little lad is six months old now and a very happy little man so i think he has forgiven them

Trust your instincts, i think they are telling you exactly the righ thing

To clear up the bottle issue for violethill, its as showofhands says - it is not because I am 'bottleist' that I disregard the idea of using one, it is because I would only want to put ebm in it, and I find it extremely difficult to get any milk out when I try, and it leaves dd without milk for her next due feed, ifyswim.

Once she is a little older, like first, I expect that she will rely less on the milk during the day as she will be on solids and can have some other milk in cup during the day. But, I don't want to give her any other milk at 9wks.

Given the points by people on here, I directly asked dh how he felt about alone time - 'You don't need to be out of the house for me to spend time alone with her (ie. when I'm sitting on mn he's often playing, changing etc.) and anyway, you need to be here when she wants this' (I was feeding at the time of asking!)

my youngest is 9 years and I still feel the same, only leave them a few hours and miss do's that involve going away overnight. just don't want to go. you must do what makes you comfortable.

although chaNCE OF GETTING AWAY IS NIL HERE ANway

DD2 will be 1y on the 20th and i've still not really left her longer than a few hours, and only with DH... I just can't do it yet!!