to leave the room while toddler is in the bath?

[Downdog]

I leave the room while DD is in the bath? Not for the entire bath but I do pop out of the room. I'm never far away, can always hear & converse with her (we live in tiny one bed flat), but I can't always see her if I'm in kitchen getting a drink etc.

OH is furious with me for doing this, but I think he is being overprotective & just trying to get one up on me.

My decision to leave 2.5 year old alone in the bath is one I've thought about, and I can always hear her and I'm never more than a maximum of 8 steps away. I'm very happy with what I've been doing but OH is appalled & got upset. He will often leave to room when he is bathing her, to check out TV etc - but always keeps her in his sight. Whereas I go 4 steps further and can't always see her.

Am I being reckless doing this?

I don't leave ds2 (3.1) unless I forget to get a towel, but the airing cupboard is about 3 seconds away from the bathroom and if I can't get on of my other 2 dcs to keep an eye, I'll run to get a towel but usually I wait until the plug is out and would then run and get one (if I'd forgetten it). Wow that was a long sentance!

I do leave dd (nearly 8) and ds1 (6)on their own but check on them frequently and always within earshot of them.

You don't need guidelines: you're the parent it's your choice and your own assessment of risk in your own home.

Age six according to this not even to get a towel.

YABextremelyU.

When I spent time in the PICU ward there was a little girl, 9months, who had gone under in the bath while her mum was out of the room. The risks are real, and completely avoidable. Just stay in the room, television or the phone really isnt worth risking her safety IMO.

YANBU People are so fucking paranoid.

My kitchen is next to my bathroom, my ds's bedroom is about 5 steps away (in fact you can't walk more than about 20 steps in the whole house. I can hear him playing, singing/talking and I know him. I know he's not always sensible in the bath (he is only 2) but I am close enough that I would be there in an instant.

To be honest OP I'm not sure why you posted, I personally wouldn't have bothered because you're obviously exercising common sense and you will only get pasted on here.

Even if my ds went under the water I would be there in an instant and scoop him right out.

Should have said that I don't leave him for long periods by the way, only 30 seconds to a minute.

The most significant factor of young children drowning in baths is inadequate supervision source

Fucking paranoid? Nope. Just not fucking stupid.

Hmmm... I leave my 3.10 year old, and have done for some time whilst I do bits and bobs (again small flat, bathroom is middle door and I tend to be in the corridor alot) - I would never go as far as my dining room, or anything like that and we chat to eachother. I cannot remember what he was like at 2.5, so cannot comment directly, but as I said - I pop out when my 3.10 year old is in the bath. He understands about the hot and cold tap (but yes I realise he could knock it and not be able to turn off hence why I am nearby), the boiler setting is set so the hot water isn't too hot also.

I'm not stupid thank you very much. We take calculated risks with our children every day.

The most common cause of drowning in children between the ages of 1 and 5 is unsupervised swimming in pools not baths.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to sit here and say "Oh yes, you're right because the guidelines say so" when I'm two metres from my robust, singing child with the door open and know exactly what he's doing!!! That's what I mean about paranoia and lack of common sense. Yes guidelines are there for a reason and they have their place but leaving a 9 month old baby upstairs in the bath completely out of sight and hearing is incomparable to the situation in my house where I'm so close to the bathroom and my son is so big and loud!

"People are so fucking paranoid"

People you are so fucking stupid, don't you mean? Why have I bothered my arse with stairgates? DD at 2.0yo is well able to go up and down the stairs. The fact that my 4yo niece very nearly broke her neck on the stairs last month is just a happy coincidence. Why do I manacle myself to DD's hand when crossing the road? We live on a quiet enough road, the chances of her being run over are fairly small.

I hope in the event of an accident you'd be as quick as you think you would be . Personally, I don't think that clip of Eastenders, or cup of coffee or urgent need for a towel that I could have sorted before I ran the bath is more important than my child's safety. You obviously think otherwise.

Sorry myhouse x post. you are stupid.

I am the the most paranoid person I have ever met !
I sit at home worrying about DD choking at preschool. Wondering if their first aid skills are up to scratch etc

but she has sat in the bath splashing etc whilst I run downstairs to get her PJ's from her bedroom.

I honestly didn't realise it takes such a short time to drown and so silently.

Yes you're right I'm stupid. I sit and watch TV and ignore my son while he's in the bath.

Christ almighty. Some people really don't have a sense of proportion.

I'm very sorry to hear about your niece, I really am, however it kind of illustrates the point that there are risks everywhere and we take calculated risks with our kids every day.

People of all ages and abilities have accidents in the home.

What I'm trying to put across is that I am not jeopardising my child's safety. I can hear him. I am literally 1 second away at my furthest.

He is at risk every time we leave the house from a million different things. I do my best to prevent these things to an appropriate degree. For example now that he's a confident walker I will leave the buggy at home and hold his hand. Of course if I had him in the buggy he'd be a hell of a lot safer because he couldn't run away, but I'm taking a risk because I believe it is at a reasonable level.

I think I'm on a hiding to nothing here but I really feel strongly about the right of parents to use their own judgement and use their common sense. (I'll just reiterate that I am not stupid and that my son is very well cared for before that's levelled at me again).

YABU. Please don't continue to do it. Surely you can get a drink, etc. before or after bath time.

I wouldn't do it.

Even if you got there as soon as they fell backwards into the water or whatever and prevented them drowning it would still be a pretty horrible experience for the child.

Can't see the reason for doing it tbh.

Guidelines about whether you give your DC too much sugar/fat can be taken as flexible, but guidelines about children in the bath should never be taken as flexible, and aren't meant to be.

It's not a case of health and safety mad in this case MyHouse, why the fuck would anyone, after being warned that children can drown within a small space of time in the bath, then fuck off and leave their children unattended in the bath? Would you leave them with a candle burning? Would you leave them with boiling water from a kettle? The risks are equally as high as a bath.

I think it'd be a stupid thing for anyone to do, whether that means you're a stupid person is another matter.

V good point Dittany

therapist will often tell you that the absolute worst injury to have is a drowning one,even brain injury specialists struggle with those. And its noteven just that- they can sing as they stand and slip you know.

There's just no pint in taking risks.i dont mean if you can see tham as someone said- sight line is a sight line. But no they never leave my sight, and after 4 dc's I am still comnfident thats right

Shiney

'Time and time again these threads come up on MN- and time and time again I am always amazed that people seem unable to make what is a basic common sense decision.'

I agree. Asking for advice about the minutiae of daily life when a bit of common sense is all that's required.

I understand what you're saying dittany but I know what my son's doing from minute to minute. He gets absorbed with his numbers and he sits and sticks them on the bath. Or he gets absorbed playing "guitar" and singing songs (all this while sitting very still). I know how he behaves in the bath, for an accident to happen he would have to be standing/climbing at the end of the bath rather than sitting in the middle. I'm not saying it's impossible, just that with what I can hear and the short intervals that I'm not in the room there is really not an extra risk to him. Really.

But I don't think I'm going to convince anyone here so I think I should perhaps slink off (to have a bath with my son so won't be leaving himi for any length of time tonight).

YANBU.
I did it when DD was 2.5, it didn't occur to me not to, she seemed old enough and was fine, I could hear her and was never far away.
She's 8 now and showers/baths alone, I don't even go upstairs with her as standard.