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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never go abroad on holiday again until the kids have left home...

190 replies

liath · 03/02/2010 21:32

Have been out of the UK 3 times since having the dcs and even when it's gone relatively well there has been the unpleasantness of flying with small kids, endless queues, dodgy weather etc. We've had endless delays, missed flights, gastroenteritis & broken bones. I get back more knackered than before I left.

AIBU to want to spend every holiday between now and my youngest's 18th birthday at bloody Centre Parcs - at least I know the chocolate ice cream there is good.

OP posts:
ClaireyFairy82 · 05/02/2010 08:29

YANBU - Although Ferry trip holidays to a cheap and cheerful caravan in Europe works well too. We have so many fantastic places in the UK to visit. We went to Cornwall every summer for about 10 years. Not always the glorious sunshine but plenty to do and Im sure it was far more relaxing for my parents than the stresses of airports/language barriers/exchange rates and too hot heat.

upandrunning · 05/02/2010 08:29

totally agree riven and taffeta cat, totally agree

put on a pair of those sandals and suddenly you're not a tourist any more you're a traveller

i don't think so

gotta go, have fun, this is excellent

upandrunning · 05/02/2010 08:30

and YES about backpackers being "ripped off" haha

what do you think you're there for?

megonthemoon · 05/02/2010 08:31

I completely agree, gobsmackedetal. I am one of the people who probably sounded unbearably smug (I think I acknowledged as much in my first post). But I would never have said what I did if the OP had said "I can't afford to go abroad". Seeing as OP raised going to CenterParcs for holidays, which is so expensive that I wouldn't do it, then money clearly isn't the issue. Affordability is clearly an issue for many people, and I know that we are lucky to have enough disposable income that we can choose to put it towards holidays rather than other things. But if affordability isn't the issue then why wouldn't you go abroad occasionally?

And i probably wouldn't have responded if i hadn't seen the first 10 posts all agreeing how crap it is going abroad! Because it isn't and doesn't have to be if you plan the holiday well! And who's to say you won't get broken arms and ridiculous weather at Center Parcs anyway?

FWIW, I grew up in a household where we could only afford to visit family in Ireland every 2 years. My parents saved to get us on 4 foreign holidays before I was 16 - Crete, France, New York (visit family) and Holland. And oh my goodness, the memories I have from those holidays are so much more vivid than the many trips to Wales or Ireland. Getting caught up in Orthodox Easter celebrations in Crete, cycling for miles along safe cycle routes and then visiting the Anne Frank House in Holland, being so proud of myself aged 10 when I managed to order an ice cream in French, standing and staring up at skyscrapers in New York. I am fortunate enough to be able to afford to do that with my children so why on earth wouldn't I give them those experiences just because there might be a little bit of inconvenience to me? I'd personally rather a bit of inconvenience at an airport but a different experience each year than eating the same old chocolate ice cream in the same old resort in some wood in Britain!

OP is NBU - each to their own and all that. But there are other approaches to holidays, and I naturally think my approach is better

sarah293 · 05/02/2010 08:31

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sophieandbelly · 05/02/2010 08:33

i am amazed thought loads of people would say no YANBU, if thats what u want, but we take ours!!

we are planning our 3rd holiday abroad with our 2 yr old, first time was a week b4 her 1st bday (spain) was excellent holiday, she was ok on flight bit wingy but good on the whole.

our 2nd last sept (greece) was 3 weeks b4 her 2 nd birthday. i can honestly say best holiday we have ever had, weather was just right , hotel perfect for kids, she didnt play up once from leaving our house to getting back.

but if u dont enjoy going abroad dont do it, its a shame tho, i was very well travelled as a child, (thailand,oz etc etc) i will def be doing those thing with our dcs amazing memories x

sarah293 · 05/02/2010 08:34

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megonthemoon · 05/02/2010 08:34

BTW - for all my trips abroad, I don't see myself as a 'traveller'. Always am and always will be a tourist - the experiences you have are always superficial when on holiday, it's not like real life, and just because you're in India ratherthan Majorca doesn't make you a 'better' tourist, but they are great, interesting, different experiences nonetheless.

sarah293 · 05/02/2010 08:35

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upahill · 05/02/2010 08:37

Riven You quoted my'Travelling abroad doesn't have to be expensive if you have an open mind and a fairly flexible timetable.'line I didn't for one minute suggest that anyon not taking their children on holiday was depriving them. What I did say was each to their own. Like I said in my post there has been times in the last decade that I couldn't afford to take my children away but I didn't feel that I was depraving them. They were bloody lucky to still have a house to live in (just) Now I'm in a finacialy different position I like to travel.

The bit about it not necessary being expensive relates to the fact that if I fly I go on odd days to keep costs down. Last year Me and DS 1 &2 flew to the alps for 9 days for £169 return and stopped in hostels.
We shopped at local markets. The holiday including spends was a hell of a lot cheaper than going to centre parcs on the same date.

However as the as someone else pointed out the OP wasn't about cost. I clearly stated it was about personal choice and what might be good for one family isn't necessary good for another

chibi · 05/02/2010 08:39

There is a point to taking young children, even if they don't remember. Dc2 will be just over year when his grandad in Canada sees him for the first time. Dc2 won't rember, but my dad will, as will I.

Or doesn't that count?

gobsmackedetal · 05/02/2010 08:40

DD is 3 1/2 and remembers things from when she was 18 0r 20 months old. She must be a miracle child!!!

sarah293 · 05/02/2010 08:40

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sarah293 · 05/02/2010 08:42

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gobsmackedetal · 05/02/2010 08:45

and it was all about memories, then why bother doing anything with your children before a certain age?

Why take them to the park, why fly a kite with them, why go to the nearby farm to pet some goats and have them pick their own eggs?

Because even if their minds don't remember the exact incident, they have learned something and it will be with them forever.

sophieandbelly · 05/02/2010 08:45

i ment the amazing memories when they r older and travel, i was 6 six when i went to oz and remember it very well.

and the rest is memories for u as a family,no its not real life its a break from it!!! isnt that the point!

each to there own, whats good for one family isnt for another

gobsmackedetal · 05/02/2010 08:46

"if it was all" obviously

gobsmackedetal · 05/02/2010 08:46

oops, gotta go, hope to find this still running in the evening :-)

sarah293 · 05/02/2010 08:51

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upahill · 05/02/2010 08:57

Riven. I know what you mean about 'anything more than 20 quid' I was like that a few years ago!!
My point was that the Op made a remark about going to Centre Parcs between now and forever. I was just pointing out that alternative holidays don't have to be expensive in comparison. To be fair OP hasn't raised the issue about costs others have. I find it absoutly mind blowing that I have several sets of friends who pay £6,000+ for their annual fortnight. I would rather have several cheaper holidays both home and abroad for far less than that in total. But each to their own.

I have just re read the post and I think the Op has been really unlucky. I've only had a flight delayed once and that was by 20 mins. I've never missed a flight and no one has been ill and I've always got home really happy. The only time we have had a minor injury was in the Cairngorms when a snowboarder crashed into DS2 when he was skiing and it shook his confidence for a couple of hours.Anyway the Cairngorms doesn't count as being abroad because it is only 5 hour car drive away. Mind you I could get to Spain quicker than going to some parts of Scotland!

blacksmith · 05/02/2010 08:57

thank god my parents didn't hold their hands up in horror and say 'that's it, we're never going outside of this country again". if they had i would never have met any of my family as they were all immigrants to the UK

on a trip to cyprus when i was 2 i apparently spent the entire flight going round and round in circles on my dad's lap. didn't stop him from taking us away and i will always treasure those memories

personally, i've travelled extensively, will do so whilst i'm pregnant, and plan do so once DC arrives. It makes us happy to travel and will hopefully pass that passion onto dc. I'm just as happy camping in the UK or exploring the beauty of Jordan.

If I'm away from home more than a couple of nights its a holiday and I get ridiculously excited

Hulababy · 05/02/2010 09:06

But the OP isn;t talking about the money issue really as they have said the alternative is Centra Parcs.

Now I have been to CP a couple of times. It is not cheap, and is really every expensive in school holidays. I was quoted just under £3000 for a week in Feb half term for a 4 bed room (2 families to share) house there! We are not going; not justifying paying that.

From what I can gather the OP is discussing not holidaying abroad due to the inconvenience, not the cost. I think that is what many people saying yabu are respinding too.

Obviously when finances are involved it is a whole different discussion full stop. I never went abroad until I was 22y; still had some great holidays in the UK. Some years we couldn't go on holiday but would have a week (my dad's factory shut down) where we would go on family day trips - still great fun. We did stay-vacations way before it was trendy, lol!

taffetacat · 05/02/2010 09:17

I think another point to make is that some parents don't like travelling themselves. Some people don't like flying, others are home birds, some are more comfortable with what they know. It is very wrong imo to belittle these people and look down on them for "depriving their children".

Plenty of adults I know don't like potholing or weaving. Are they depriving their children by not doing these things?

sarah293 · 05/02/2010 09:24

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morningpaper · 05/02/2010 09:25

Having seen poverty in third world countries I'm not sure that is IS something that it's particularly useful to show your children TBH. It's horrific. I'm all for broadening their experience but I'd rather they were of an age where they can properly process that sort of information before they see it for themselves.