to never go abroad on holiday again until the kids have left home...

[liath]

Have been out of the UK 3 times since having the dcs and even when it's gone relatively well there has been the unpleasantness of flying with small kids, endless queues, dodgy weather etc. We've had endless delays, missed flights, gastroenteritis & broken bones. I get back more knackered than before I left.

AIBU to want to spend every holiday between now and my youngest's 18th birthday at bloody Centre Parcs - at least I know the chocolate ice cream there is good.

Oh, and we never went abroad on holiday as kids, bar once or twice. We lived in a seaside town that has now become Chelsea-on-Sea, we were members of the local sailing club so just chilled out and sailed from the beach all day with the other kids and my dad had a yacht, so all of the spare time and money went on that! I remember being offered a fortnight in a school friend's Spanish villa with her and her family for nothing bar flights, and turning it down as I couldn't bear to leave!

(Having written that I realise I need a smug sounding emoticon cause that actually sounds pretty idyllic.)

My point being staying in the UK the majority of the time did us (my sister and I) no harm at all. I still haven't travelled a huge amount due to going straight from school to uni then uni to work...I've had a few hols here and there along the way but don't consider myself unworldly.

sure they discover it later, its a parents personal choice, can but as a child, seeing the reality of poverty in India made dd a bit more appreciative of what she has, it really made an impact.

Both kids are also fascinated at how different every state is in US, dd thinks its like visiting a diffferent country each time.

They both also like a bit of warmth, as does their mother

I travelled widely as a kid including a stint living and schooling in the States. I then travelled extensively with work for 15 years.

I've had enough of it tbh. DH has only travelled a little but isn't that bothered.

We've had some wonderful hols in the UK with DC - esp Dorset and Cornwall. We've also had some really shite ones when the weather has been pants.

We're doing Atlantic Coast of France this August by car. I wanted to do UK or Denmark but DH got his way - this year. Cottage. Can't bear hotels - lived in them for years. But do insist its a break for me too - no cooking. Dinner out or he cooks every night.

I went on so many flights pre kids where I saw unhappy children I have never even entertained flying with them. I would like to take them places to broaden their horizons etc but I think we have a few years for that yet. I think when they are under 5 its a bit of a waste if you're doing it primarily for them. Hopefully our children have along lifetime ahead of them to discover the world for themselves.

Flippin Brilliant!! thanks ladies

i shall show this thread to my mum who is amazed that we refuse to go on holiday with our ds (3). I refuse because of all of the reasons listed above. why spend all that money on a "holiday" that you need another holiday to recover from.

my mum is so proud that me and my brother were taken all over the world but will forget to mention all the nightmares she has told me about in the past.

plus - im a bit of a homebird and we are lucky enough to live in rural cornwall so why on earth would i want to go anywhere else

I'm taking three flights next week on my own with my 4 and 2 year old to get back to the UK to see their grandparents. I am not looking forward to it one bit as getting through security in the US can be a nightmare. I also have a four hour drive between both sets of dgps which won't be fun either. I will tell them that it is the last time I will do it on my own till the dcs are a bit older. If my dh can come too, that's a different matter.

Fingers crossed it will go smoothly, but there's an awful lot of opportunities for it all to go pear-shaped!

YANBU to not want the hassle, but in a couple of years the dcs will be completely different so you may reconsider!

I posted at 18.57 this evening and I have just read through the posts and had a think about comments that have been put on (although it maybe clouded with wine and lemonade truth be told)

1 I think the OP should do what she is comfortable with. Clearly it is about personal chooice and what suits one isn't necessary good for another person. Fair enough I think!

2 Just because I have done things a certain way doesn't mean it is the only way or the correct way. I have been in a position over the last few years to do a fair bit of travelling before that, for a while , I didn't have 2 brass farthings to rub together so I went no where.

3 All the talk about education broading the mind is true to a point. What broadens the mind I think is positve expierences and feeling secure and loved whether it is in a tent in North Wales (My childhood, teenage years and current summer holidays) or going up the Inca trail.

Travelling abroad doesn't have to be expensive if you have an open mind and a fairly flexible timetable. A lot of my stuff with the DS's has been done by flying out with EasyJet on odd days eg Go Friday come back a week Monday. I pre book the first and last night night of the trips accomadation and often play the rest by ear. I use Hostel Bookers for accomadation and book a room for all 3 or 4 of us depending if DH is coming or not.
Try going to places that is not on the tourist trail such as Slovakia, Hungary and so on.

If staying in the Uk please remember that there is so much to see and do. We have a wonderful country here and while Centre Parcs and the like can entertain you for pretty much 4 hours a day step out of that nicely managed bubble and see what lovely places we have,

Ok i am going to climb off my soap box and go back to Dh who is wondering where I've gone again!!

We've done a mix of overseas and UK holidays since DD1 was 13 months. The first one was fine on the flying (to Greece) but quite hard work during the holiday. TBH it would have been the same in the UK - she would have tried to eat sand and stones on the beach and not sit still for too long in a high chair. Our second holiday when she was almost 2 was much better and more relaxed.

We have a 7.5 yr gap between our two and our first overseas holiday with both was when DD2 was 2. We had a fabulous holiday. Both dds loved the pool and the beach and we just had a lovely long relaxing holiday.

I would say that if the weather is right and your children love water, overseas holidays are a lovely relaxing break.

i have and will continue doing taking all 4dc away with no one else to help .but its not everyones cup of tea and yes we enjoy holidays in uk

Yanbu. Yes, we've done it loads in some ghastly places, dreadful transfers, awful flights, chronic hotels. It's been great (true) and now we are going to stop. I like the idea of a holiday at home with holiday rules and I like the idea of exploring Wales and Scotland.

Not feeble. Feeble if you've not tried it because it sounds like too much work though. But you have and it was shocking so yanbu.

I think i all depends on your expectations and experience. I love backpacking and have travelled and travelled with young children, we still do. My first experience was with DD, we went backpacking in SE Asia when she was 3 or 4 months old.

I have found that the trick is to travel light no matter what. i.e. I'm happy to rent diving gear while DH wants to lug his own with him, but this is not gonna work with little ones. So if you had left your skis behind and had, for instance, two pieces of luggage instead of four, then your husband breaking his arm wouldn't make your trip as difficult as it did.

I'd say don't give up on travelling, just learn from your experiences, ask people who travel a lot how they do it and lower your expectations.

Also, how old are your kids? You know that you need less stuff to travel with 5 children than with one baby, right? Mine are now almost 3 1/2 and almost 2 and I have noticed our packs are getting lighter every time.

so, yes, YABU to give up on seeing the world and giving your children the best kind of education there is because of a bad experience. Take this more like a plead though...

Riven,
nt doing it due to financial restrains is a completely different subject. OP here is talking about the incovinience of it all.

And yes, you can make it fairly cheap (ish) but it also depends on how many children you have. Four children are going to cost twice as much in plane tickets and accomodation than two.

thanks riven, I was hoping you'd come along and talk some sense!!

"Its not about money at all - being able to afford a holiday is a luxury for most people, me and the OP included."

• why did geordieminx say its not about money whether you have a holiday abroad or not???? what planet is she on???

I'm not smug at all Riven, I was actually being nice to you thankyouverymuch.

maybe you should see my emphasis on "due to a bad experience".

I'm talking about OP, who doesn't want to do it again because of her last experience, not talking about people who can't afford it or can't do it due to health/family/whatever reasons.

And yes, you can get a fantastic education in any country should you want to, but you simply can't argue with the fact that experiencing different things first hand is much more mind broadening (is this a word?) than second hand experience.

Of course people can do that once they're older on their own, but if you CAN (financially and otherwise) take them and show then the world and see it through their eyes, why wouldn't you? In my book a bad skiing holiday is not a good enough reason and all the perceived hassle can be removed with some research and experience

I took my kids abroad for the first time in 2008 and it was absolutly brilliant. We loved the place and had an amazing time. My mum came with us.

My mum then paid for us to go back to the same place about 6mths later and we had an awful time. The kids whinged non stop, ds and dd1 were sick and it just wasn't the same.

It has certainly made me alot more wary of doing it again, because it is such alot of money to spend on something that might be a load of rubbish.

I am almost pleased that we can't afford to go abroad again anyway.

I don't think travel is the best kind of education you can have. People who've travelled a lto say that. (except me.)

well, that's again up to the traveller. It depends what you do with it.

at backpacking in SE Asia being an educational experience for a 4 month old

I wholeheartedly disagree with the blanket term "travel broadens the mind." I worked in the travel industry for years and years, it makes not a jot of difference to some people how much or little they travel.

Some people are enriched by other cultures, sights, the ambience of a place etc. Others aren't. Simple as.

Travel, sadlky, is another of those areas where people get all competitive, smug and snobbish. Its just so ludicrous. Do what you like and sod what everyone thinks. And if you do travel widely, don't brag about it to others. It just pisses people off.

I love Fridays.

no, that was for me, and it was easy with the baby being so young, in a sling with boob in her mouth.

Glad I did it as I'll never be able to backpack again though :-(

it is sad Riven, isn't it?

not really, there are plenty more "life educational" experiences, caring for people at home, playing competitive sport, leadership roles in the community, travel is just tourism

you get such a superficial view however much you think you don't

places like Asia you are a walking wallet whether you like it or not -- you can't extract yourself from that perspective