The prospect of Mum and Dad dying is bad enough without being asked to finish them off?

[sweetnsour]

Terry Pratchett and co are calling for assisted suicide to be legalised. I entirely support his right to die in the face of an appalling illness (dementia). But I object to the apparently seamless assumpation the campaigners make that it's the sick person's relations/family who get to 'perform the act' - ie the killing itself, with/without the family GP.

Acquiring the right to die is one thing. But having the right to ask someone else to kill you?

Doing it would be ghastly for the people left behind and, on top of the burden of grief, could damage them very badly.

dh1 died in hospital from complications of MS.He was a member of what was then the Voluntary Euthanasia Society.He constantly asked me,his friends and once,horribly, the children to help him die.He had two failed suicide attempts.I didnt have the courage to help him and actually I dont regret that.It is one thing for someone to be assisted by a professional at their own behest but just wrong to expect a family member to kill them.The nearest I have come to that is to give hospital staff permission to increase my mother's morphine when her pain got worse.

There are some heart breaking stories on this thread, and I sympathise greatly with anyone who has had to face this terrible situation. I am currently in a similar position myself regarding my father who is very ill.

However, this thread is over a year old, I point this out because it may be distressing for people who posted a year ago, should they happen to read their old posts.

I wonder why it was resurrected? It's clearly a valid topic for discussion, but a new thread would be a better approach IMO.

I'm hugely sympathetic to the pro-euthanasia group but I think that it is covering for a lack of quality palliative care within the community and a reluctance amongst doctors to recognise and institute the Liverpool care/end of life pathway in our patients for non-cancer patients.

I could never ever actively end one of my patients life but I have been involved in the decision to withdraw active treatment and begin medications to allow for symptom control only. This includes the escalation of analgesia to a point where I knew it would have some effect on their respiratory drive. Do I think that this is different to euthanasia? Yes - I'm doing this to control their pain and also believe in decreasing analgesia if needed. I would not give any medication that would have no effect but to end their life. I also think it would be unfair to expect nursing staff to do this.

I have sat and talked with relatives during what is the most dificult time in their lives. I have been asked to 'help their dad/mom, that they wouldn't want to linger' and it is really hard but I couldn't do it, it would go against everything that I believe in as a person and as a doctor. I think that what is needed amongst medical professionals is a change in our belief that death is a failure and a valid goal should be a 'good death' (iyswim).

Sassybeast

Are you aware that smokers fund their own treatment via the tax they pay on buying tobacco products? Are you aware the tax they pay more than covers all the care they would ever need on the NHS?

No. Then don't comment on it then.

Some of these posts are so sad. What horrible experiences some of you have had. :(

I really don't know how I would feel if somebody I loved wanted me to help them die, I hope I never have to find out.

Apart from Debbie Purdy, was there another lady, Diane Pretty who was suffering from a terminal illness and fighting for the right to die? It's awful to think that people who might still have quality of life woul be having to consider ending their lives at that point because they might not be physically able when they felt they needed to die.

We need a 'Dignitas' here in the UK, but not like the existing one; one that is more like a hospice with time for families to be together and come to terms with what's happening.

I'm absolutely pro-choice for euthanasia and can understand the potential for abuse but really, people must have a right to die when they choose it and I think a doctor-assisted suicide is a better option as they are removed and trained.

There needs to be a seachange in the way death is viewed and perhaps the law will then follow.

Families are going to have different levels of ability to perform this task. Some may not wish to do it at all due to religious beliefs or just not wanting to do it - why should their relatives have a more drawn-out death as a result?

An interesting topic which raises legal as well as moral issues. My MIL lost family to Dementia and understandably she wants to consider her options if, heaven forbid, the same happened to her. She has researched this thoroughly, looking at that clinic in Scandanavia, wherever it is. My understanding is that despite that clinic being in a different jurisdiction one could still be prosecuted, in theory, for helping someone get on a plane and going abroad with them. We were asked if we would go with her if she wanted to do this. We said that we didn't see how we could - we would both lose our jobs and potentially deprive our DC of a parent - she got slightly humpy over this!!!

My dad was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. He was given 2-3 years to live. He deteriorated much faster though and went from basically normal to a speechless motionless blob in a wheelchair in the space of 9 months.

One of the last things he actually managed to say to me was "if I'd been a dog I would have been put down by now."

The last 6 months of his life was horrendous for him and for me, and it really would have been a blessing for him to be able to just end the suffering.

I think that if people are able to formally agree that they want their lives to end, or (to avoid the question of familes sneakily trying to kill off irritating old relatives) if they could maybe have their case assessed and approved by an impartial jury then they should be allowed to die with dignity.