Only got to page 6 and crying with laughter.
My mum is scottish (Glaswegian) but I have lived in Southern England my whole life. It has lead to some very odd pronunciations as I think I must have mixed the two accents!
It was pointed out to me the other day by DP that I say 'Wilyum' instead of 'William'. I also say 'Tortoys' instead of 'tortus' for 'tortoise'. I think both of these are me mixing the accents rather than it being a totally Scottish thing (although I'd be interested to hear how the Scots say both of those).
'Turn the big light off' is something my mum always said. I just assumed it meant the main light in a room rather than the lamp. Am I wrong?
'Slept in' I have always said rather than overslept. Overslept sounds dead formal to me.
And that reminds me, I always say 'dead' - e.g. 'I'm dead tired' or 'I'm dead pleased'. I think that's a Scottish thing too as all my cousins say it.
Finally I was speaking to an Irish girl recently and she was using the phrase 'you see' at the start of a few sentences - this is something my mum always does as well. e.g. 'You see that coffee table' or 'you see Katie's hair'. Never hear that in Southern England. It made me smile.
I remember finding it really weird that my friend's mum used to 'carry her to the school disco' instead of 'take her'. Her mum was Jamaican and had lived in New York and it was some kind of Jamaican/New york thing. It used to make me smile as I thought it was so weird - the same friend probably laughed the same way at the funny things I would say.