to think some people actually prefer moaning to doing something to help themselves?

[BitOfFun]

And that they are their own worst enemies?

I see it a bit on here, to be honest. Every suggestion is met with a "yes, but...", or helpful contributions are ignored, or even whole threads are pulled by the OP because they nobody is letting them wallow.

AIBU?

BOF, I will join you on the parapet

< hands round the tin hats >

Yes - sort it or shut it.

Well, you could always ignore the moaners and not bother reading or posting on their threads if it annoys you.

(I expect that my helpful advice will be ignored as really you just wanted to express your annoyance, not do anything about it. )

I see a lot of people stuck fast in the same old patterns of behaviour

I see lots of denial

I see lots of excuses, hedging, inability to make decisions and settling for shit treatment at the hands of fuckwits

I don't know why that is, but I am sure somebody will come along and tell us

YANBU though. Despite being queen of the whingers myself I find it annoying when others do it unremittingly.

Thankyou for those who have replied helpfully

I was just about to post on a thread and it went pffft. But I bet the moaning will carry on soon enough...grrr

YANBU BitofFun. There are some people who are life's victims and refuse to help themselves. Everything is someone else's fault and they never take control of their own lives. It does get boring to keep seeing threads by the same people who moan, moan, moan yet won't accept advice or help themselved.

Agree. Its very hard to help someone until they are ready to be helped.

You should ignore bran. It's a rubbish cereal, and doesn't taste of anything.

But (in my defence even tho' I am sure BOF isn't talking about me) I find some areas of my life harder to deal with and change then other areas

So (almost because of that) I end up whittering about the bits I can't deal with

lol at trill

and bran makes your poo all hard and dry

It goes straight through me

Now you're moaning about bran

YANBU. Annoys me in real life too.

A: I have a problem, it is this
B: You could try this...
A: No, that wouldn't work because...

And continue until B (ie me) tries to think of a tactful non-rude way to say 'why the hell are you bothering to ask me for advice when you're not going to make any attempt to change things anyway?'.

Is that what you mean?

I prefer a nice toasted hot cross bun, dripping with butter, meself

and a Shape Yoghurt

(I do realise that's like having a diet Coke with a kebab }

My counsellor says that if we don't want to get out of the relationship (for example) it may mean that it is fulfilling some need in us. Perhaps some posters find themselves central to a drama in rl, people / family asking oh how it is going, you poor thing etc, and also of course the attention from mumsnet. I realise this is simplistic, some people may not feel able to finish an bad relationship as they feel deep down it is only what they deserve, they won't get anyone else / anyone better etc.

But yes it is fucking annoying.
But then I have spent lots of effort doing something about negative behaviour / situations for pretty much all my life. Therefore I feel shortchanged when people don't make the effort. My mother was the worst person for this, spent her whole life bitching and moaning about stuff while never doing one single thing to change any of it.

AnyFucker, it's the thought that counts

Flamingo that's exactly it.

Why thankyou Shiney- I assure you, I am your biggest fan

Mmm, butter.

You clearly need to moan more about being single.

Or maybe they are scared that they will end up as one of Shiney's infamous date stories...

I can always tell when I've given brilliant advice that nobody wants to implement, that's when they start making fun of my name.

any particular lovely male posters in mind, shiney ?