To be irritated by pal who swore she didn't care what sex her DB is,when obviously she did!

[Earplugs]

Not hugely irritated but mildly .

Pal swore blind her and her DH didn't care about the sex of their 3rd child. They already have 2 DD.

When she told me she was expecting,I was (and still am!) thrilled for her but made the mistake of mentioning the baby's sex. I was almost verbally attacked by daring to suggest that they might be hoping for a boy and was told in no uncertain terms that the sex of their children wasn't of importance. I was actually a bit hurt by the way I was spoken to.

So fast forward a couple of months (never mentioning the sex again!) and after a scan, she has discovered she is expecting a boy and from their reaction you would think they had won the lottery.

Not a day goes by without an announcement on facebook declaring how 'shocked' and 'totally thrilled' they are at the wonderful news, and I'm getting a little sick of hearing about how she will manage buying blue baby clothes.

Since the news, she has also shared with me the details of how they were actually timing sex to increase chances of having a boy.

So AIBU wish that she'd just have admitted to wanting a boy in the first place?

And AIBVU to think that if you genuinly didn't mind about the sex, then you wouldn't be making such a fuss?

I get where you are coming from OP she's bit of a faker especially since you were made to feel like a knob for suggesting they wanted a boy only to find out they made extra special effort to do so..be cool, I understand your irritation...

Agree with Tiggy.
When I was pg for the third time after having two DDs, I was sooo sick of people saying how desperate we must be for a boy that I too would probably have snapped at a close friend, irrespective of how well-intentioned they were.

When we did find out it was a boy, I got even more irritated TBH by comments about how relieved we must be, how pleased DH would be, when we only ever wanted a lovely healthy baby. It was nice to have a change but I'd expect friends who knew me well to realise that a new baby is novelty enough for us, irrespective of sex.

Your friend was a bit snappy with you a couple of months ago. I think it might be time to get over it by now.

I think YABU. I really understand where your friend is coming from. We have 2 DDs and thought long and hard about trying for a 3rd baby. Both DH and I wanted a boy (just as if I had had two DSs I know I would have wanted a DD) but there was no way I was going to have another baby just so we could see if a boy turned up this time. We thought about whether we would be somehow disappointed if we had another girl and how awful it would be to feel anything other than pure joy at the arrival of a baby, but in the end decided that more than anything we just wanted another baby come what may, boy or girl.

I think pretty much everyone I know said something along the lines of 'hoping for a boy this time then?' with a greater or lesser extent of subtlety. I generally smiled and ignored the comment with a gentle 'no we really don't mind'. But i did mind. I knew that if I had another DD I would love her to pieces as I love my two older DDs, but given the choice I did still hope for a boy, even though I tried not to let myself even think it. Funnily enough the one person I REALLY snapped at was a v good friend of mine. I was sick of hearing the same thing implied to me all the time, it is so unbelievably insensitive. I just felt that she of all people could have managed without making such a stupid fatuous comment. Of course we wanted a boy (but not to the exclusion of not wanting a girl IYSWIM), surely it's obvious that most people with a couple of children of one sex would quite like the experience of the other (if it was possible actually to choose) but for heavens sake there was NO WAY I could ever have admitted that to anyone at all (what if the baby had turned out to be a girl - how could I bear anyone to think for even a second that I hadn't wanted her??).

Anyway, like your friend I had a scan and discovered DS was a boy. I was over the moon. Funnily enough once we had found out the sex I did talk to my friend a bit about it and apologise for snapping at her and she quite understood when she put her brain in gear and realised why I had been so cross!

Give her a break and be happy for her.

Oh Hully, you've made me chuckle.

hope that doesn't piss you off ;)

God, I'd be delighted with three DDs. Why would I want a boy? They can't wear pink!! Seriously though, imagine if she made it known she wanted a boy and it turned out to be a girl and some imbecile reminded her of what she'd said. I think quite a lot of women (myself included) say they don't mind when they do secretly have a preference. I got what I secretly wanted (a lovely daughter) but I am 100% certain that I would have loved a son every bit as much once he arrived.

YABU. It's very rude to suggest that someone would want a boy just because they already have girls. That should never be an automatic assumption. With most people, even if they prefer a particular sex (and no they don't have to tell anyone that) they'd still be very happy in spite of having the "wrong" sex. Nothing wrong with your friend showing how excited she is at having a boy, upto her how she reacts to the prospect of a son after two daughters.

I sort of get your friend's subjective, self-protecting pre-emptive strike....

I am having my first baby...of course we don't mind either way really but secretly, deep down, haven't told anyone, not even DP....I'd love a boy. But I feel a bit ashamed of meself for thinking this way so I try not to think about it too much.