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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to give up the bariatric chair for the obese lady?

166 replies

AKMD · 21/01/2010 11:28

I?m 33 weeks pregnant and had an obstetric consultant appointment yesterday afternoon. The antenatal clinic waiting room was packed and there were quite a few women standing up as there weren?t enough chairs. I had been waiting for over an hour as the consultant was running behind schedule and was sitting in the specially wide, reinforced bariatric chair as that was the only one available. A lady came in who was clearly very obese, looked around and saw me sitting in the bariatric chair and came over to stand beside me. Was AIBU not to spring up and offer her the chair? I would have done if there had been any other seats free for me to move to. I did feel a bit bad about it afterwards but TBH I'd been waiting to sit down for ages and felt that she could wait like everyone else.

OP posts:
chandellina · 21/01/2010 11:30

could the nurses not bring some more chairs? that's the U part of the story!

fernie3 · 21/01/2010 11:31

I wouldnt have stood up UNLESS she looked like she was struggling to stand. If it was the only chair she just has to wait for it to be free.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/01/2010 11:31

I have absolutely no idea what a bariatric cjair was, but I would have stayed put and read a magazine, avoiding all glaring eyes.

You are 33 weeks pregnant, you could do with a sit down

Bucharest · 21/01/2010 11:31

I don't know what a bariatric chair is, but as you are 33 weeks pregnant you shouldn't have to offer your seat to anyone, obese or not, surely?

Was she pregnant as well? Were there any non-pg people around sitting? I found when heavily pregnant that sometimes I ended up standing when husbands sat texting in the hospital waiting area which was a bit

Bucharest · 21/01/2010 11:32
Original poster
AKMD · 21/01/2010 11:33

A bariatric chair is one that's specially designed for obese people so that it is deep and wide enough for them to sit down comfortably. If someone is very obese, normal-sized chairs often aren't deep enough for them to sit on.

OP posts:
belgo · 21/01/2010 11:33

Are you sure she wasn't pregnant?

MmeLindt · 21/01/2010 11:33

YANBU

The hospital is being VU not providing enough chairs in an antenatal waiting room.

Sassybeast · 21/01/2010 11:34

Why would someone who is obese be more entitled to a chair than anyone else ? - genuine question ?

Rockbird · 21/01/2010 11:34

Aha, but if it is the only chair and it is accessible for her then it is for her use not yours....think toilets and parking spaces...

lou031205 · 21/01/2010 11:34

YABU - How embarrassing would it be for a very obese lady to know that if she sat on a normal chair, she either might get wedged in or break it?

thedollshouse · 21/01/2010 11:35

I wouldn't have offered her my seat either. I had an appointment at my maternity unit the other day and was miffed that I was not offered a seat by husbands/partners, eventually I sat on the floor as I have a very bad back at the moment and can't stand for long.

Morloth · 21/01/2010 11:35

Hospital was being unreasonable not having enough seats in an ante-natal clinic. Very annoying. Were there any husbands sitting about while pregnant women stood?

I am usually pretty unsympathetic to the "I am pregnant, I need to sit down more than anyone else" train of though, but not at an ante-natal clinic!

stirringbeast · 21/01/2010 11:36

I have never heard of such a chair. Going to look for them now.

Rockbird · 21/01/2010 11:39

Can sympathise though. I've had this lack of seating when going for scans and to see so many of the husbands sitting down made me want to head butt one of them.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/01/2010 11:40

Well I would have been all right and guilt free as I had no idea that special chairs for the obses were in existence and would have just thought it was an extra roomy chair.

To ne honest what with all the extra weight you are carrying whilst pregnant you would be classed, just by weight alone, as obese so would be just entitled to the special chair as much as an an obese person.

Oh you know what I mean.

Anyway, yanbu.

Bucharest

msrisotto · 21/01/2010 11:40

YANBU
The chair is accessible to her, not just for her and it's not as if you had the choice of the other chairs.

RocheMoutonee · 21/01/2010 11:40

what is a bairatric chair fgs

Original poster
AKMD · 21/01/2010 11:41

Bucharest, partners were being great. They were standing up, it was the toddlers who were taking up the seats! (And if you have a big bump, you can't put a child on your lap so I had absolutely no issues with that).

Belgo, it was the antenatal clinic in the hospital so every woman there would have been either pregnant or trying.

Rockbird, that's kinda what I was wondering about. However, she wasn't disabled and I didn't see why being obese gives you special rights to sit down over 3 heavily pregnant women (ok, she might have been heavily pregnant too but there was no visible 'additional' bump IYSWIM). She wasn't struggling to stand.

Lou, I wasn't using the bariatric chair while normal seats were available. If one had become free, I would have swtiched to that one rather than 'made' her sit on it, but every other seat was taken and there were other heavily pregnant women standing.

OP posts:
msrisotto · 21/01/2010 11:42

www.lmgtfy.com/?q=bariatric+chair

msrisotto · 21/01/2010 11:43

www.lmgtfy.com/?q=bariatric+chair

thedollshouse · 21/01/2010 11:43

Why are you usually unsympathetic Morloth? I don't expect people to offer me their seat but it would be helpful. This morning on the walk back from ds's school I had to sit down on the pavement a couple of times as my back was so painful. I didn't have this trouble with my first pregnancy but this time I am even finding queuing in shops a real challenge.

BooHooo · 21/01/2010 11:43

why did she come and stand beside you?

YANBU

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/01/2010 11:44

This is an odd OP.

Who in the name of hell in normal life would know what a bariatric chair is? I am not thick (don;t all laugh at once) but I have never heard of the word, and can't imagine it is freely known outside obesity circles.

MayorNaze · 21/01/2010 11:44

would the large lady have fitted in one of the other chairs? and did she have to wait lng for another chair to become free?

i think you are probably NBU but with someone lurking next to me in a pointed fashion i would probably have given up the seat.

that is just me though, at 37 weeks i sat on the floor at dd1s assembly as not one of the stepford wives other mums thought that i might like their seat and i didn't have the guts to ask them