AIBU to be very shocked only 3% of unmarried parents stay together until child is 16!

[littlemoominmamma]

3% is nothing!!! It is soooo sad. 1 out of every 3 couples have seperated before the child is 5yrs old

I am now glad that the tories are going to give married couples help.

Bye noddy, enjoy your egg and bacon, and keep an eye on your dp!

I don't know if anyone has mentioned Kate Figges' recent book on relationships but she was interviewed on Women's Hour this week and said she found no differences between married and co-habiting couples and the strength or longevity of their relationship. What did make a difference was the commitment to resolving issues and communication, regardless of their marital status.

I couldn't give a stuff whether people are married or not, and frankly I don't see why it's anyone else's business

No one is forcing anyone to get married - However taxpayers DO have no choice when it comes to paying for children who are not supported by fathers who have left their partners and do not think they have to pay a penny for their children.

If familys stay together longer and work through problems that is better for everyone, very especially the children.

Ilovetiffany; sorry, have been on my iPhone all day so hope typos/spellings not too bad, this thing tries to predict what I'm going to say, ha ha, (the fool)
No my dc are not perfect, neither am I thank god, because perfect is boring, but what I have going here is a fantastic family unit where we all feel happy and secure, I know your dc feel that too, but I think marriage gives eveyone a little bit more....and by everyone I mean society in general.
I can't think of a single negative factor in getting married.......but this is mumsnet and I'm daftpunk, so obviously talking shite as usual.....

I'm a single parent and the taxpayer doesn't support me in any way whatsoever - in fact I'm probably supporting a lot of you married people, given that I'm a higher rate taxpayer. Do I resent that? No.

I was going to say OP that you shouldn't make sweeping judgements but given that you've mistaken politics for fact I shouldn't really be surprised.

Marriage is a legal document that binds people together in a legal sense.
What people make of it is up to them.

Cohabitation is NOT a legal document therefore people are NOT bound together in a legal sense.
Again, what people MAKE OF IT, good relationship or crap relationship it is still up to them.

One has a legal aspect, the other doesn't. That's it- I don't really think that there's much left to say on the matter really.

Married or not- the quality of the relationship is up to the two people involved.

Ladybiscuit, you have been making Very sweeping judgements about married people. You may well be a Higher rate taxpayer (pedestal arriving any minute)

However I am not stupid enough to think that this is in anyway the norm for single parents many of whom live in extreme poverty and desperatly need the help and support of benefits.

I'm not relying on politics - just common bl**dy scence

P.S Sorry for typos throughout this post, I am a bit dyslexic!

Hello marantha, glad to have you back....x

why are you lot so bothered about this? I cant be arsed anymore

Im happy, my children are happy - end of, woohoo

lovely, what is your phd in?

Where have I made any sweeping statements about married people? Do show me. And WTF is this silly pedestal stuff on this thread? How childish.

47% of single mothers live below the poverty, which means that 53% of us do not so presumably you, the poor married taxpayer is not actually forking out for most of us, any more than I am. And being married in no way guarantees that dads who fuck off are any more likely to cough up for their offspring that those who don't, as hundreds of threads on here will attest.

littlemoominmamma.

While I am all for a distinction between marriage and cohabitation- namely I don't think people should be regarded "as married" when they are not and am against cohabitee rights as a matter of freedom of choice,
my experiences tell me that the marriage is good, cohabitation bad argument is flawed.

I realise that some cohabitees are in it for the short-term, fair enough- it is wrong to assume that every cohabitee is in it for the long-term like you do with the married.

However, I believe that those cohabitees who HAVE made a decision together to stay together in the long-term have an equal chance of surviving as a married couple.

However, if a couple are identical in every way, bar that one is married and the other not, that marriage certificate is not going to make any difference to the quality of the relationship.

littlemoomin, im a bit confused - in your other thread you said you regretted starting this one, and now you are back slinging mud with the rest of them

i think this is a kind of statistical misreading - marriage is a consequence of a secure situation, not necessarily a factor that makes a situation more secure -
therefore there's no suprise that more unmarries couples split - the footing they were on was less secure to begin with.

mariage does make a difference still- but people choose to marry because they have a real reason to make that committment and believe it can last - surely it is the nature of the realtionship thst is the deciding factor, not the ceremony?

Lucy - Yes I know, I am a thread wh*re they keep drawing me back!!! As I explained they are my babies.

I am an avid mud slinger and sooo enjoy a good discussion but as soon as I start a thread it is just sods law that I get sh*t loads of work and can't join in, thus looking like I am a lazy thread starter.

Ladybiscuit - I guess pedestals are used when people seem a bit up themselves.
Being a Top Rate Taxpayer I guess you may need a big one >not wanting to disclose my miserable tax rate

EdgarAllenSnow Absolutely- it is the quality of the relationship that is the deciding factor of whether or not a relationship survives.

I think the problem is that people get insulted when statements like "the married are more likely to stay together than cohabitees" but the truth is that they probably are because cohabitation isn't ALWAYS about the long-term.

However, if the cohabitation is meant to be about the long-term, then I think the survival of the relationship owes to relationship quality rather than marital status.

LucyEllensmadmummy - its in computing and human interaction (I kid you not). Only mentioned it because upandrunning called me a "dullard" because I don't agree with her (obviously)but I think for fun I'm going to ask her to call me Dr lovelycoffee

If you get 600 posts do you win something ?

you lot are loopy keeping this up what does it matter what some people think. people are nutters mostly anyway especially on the internet

Sorry that was a bit shitty of me to say that. I just get really tired of people making sweeping statements about single mothers which assume we're all sponging off the taxpayer as I'm sure you would too

Yes, someone comes around your house, takes a hammer to your PC/laptop and smashes it to bits so you can get a life away from the bloody computer!

600th post.

littlemoomin Protect your PC ...