AIBU to be very shocked only 3% of unmarried parents stay together until child is 16!

[littlemoominmamma]

3% is nothing!!! It is soooo sad. 1 out of every 3 couples have seperated before the child is 5yrs old

I am now glad that the tories are going to give married couples help.

This thread was pretty predictable from the beginning. Think I must be so out of touch with the mn demographic.

"I was brought up by an unmarried couple (mother and step father), my married parents having split well before my 5th birthday. Perhaps this is why marriage feels meaningless to me?"

This is it, really. Staying together may mean nothing for the child either. So it's a culture of single parenthood with general approval and often, of course, universal costs.

All those awful Daily Mail readers, those dreadful, smug, well heeled middle class people, are probably paying for a lot of it too. Bastards.

er that last term was a sarcastic reference to dm readers and NOTHING ELSE AT ALL

flip

I have to add, after thinking alot about this last night I realise that now, in my 40's, I do not have any friends who are co-habiting (they are now all either married or single), whereas in my 20's I was myself co-habiting as were many of my friends.

I realise many on here will still be relatively young and maybe things will be different for a different generation.

I don't get the point of your 04:20 post, upandrunning. The poster you quoted appears to be saying that in her personal experience as a child a committed unmarried relationship lasted significantly longer than a married relationship, and that this has probably coloured her view of whether a married relationship is intrinsically any more stable."

How do you get directly from that (personal experience of being raised by two parental figures in a stable long-term unmarried relationship) to "So it's a culture of single parenthood with general approval"?

But, yes, this thread was pretty predictable from the beginning -- the point where a fictional "statistic" was presented, described as shocking but indisputable, and then all the evidence showing that it was an invention ignored.

because she's not being raised by two parental figures in a stable long term relationship, unless I read it wrong

i meant the predictable outcry against smug marrieds and marriage in general

"I ahve split from my childs father, we were unmarried. "

have a little read yourself love

Peachy - yes, I agree. But can't you already opt for an inexpensive marriage? The puffball dress, hideous party venue, cars with ribbons, really dry cake that costs a fortune etc are all optional extras.

Does anyone know what is the registry fee for a marriage?

upandrunning Have you been reading a different thread? I'm not getting how you see an outcry against "smug marrieds". Looks like a fairly balanced split to me with most expressing their personal choices. Its understandable isn't it that people who cohabit would want to dispute what is clearly a nonsense statistic "spun" by the Tories to try to criticise cohabitants (and single parents in effect whether former cohabitants or divorced) and support their "traditional family values" agenda.

In order to marry in a register office in the UK, you and your intended must give notice to the registrar (where you'll be asked to provide I.D. and be asked a few questions ALONE about your intended spouse and be asked if you are marrying of your own free will during the interview).

This "giving notice" costs £30 each for the couple. At this point, you can set the date- but I believe 16 days must pass before you do it.

On the day, a fee of £43.50 must be paid to actually marry the couple.
The service takes approximately 10 minutes and two witnesses (can't be registrars, must be adults) must oversee the ceremony.
A ring is (obviously) optional. You are given a certificate after the ceremony.

TOTAL COST: £103.50. TIME: Approximately 1 hour for the giving notice and 10 minutes for the service itself.

£103.50 is far, far less money than twenty grand.

That isn't true actually, as i checked with my local registry office and the cheapest they marry you for is £115.

I don't want to be flippant but I do think the vast majority of people who wish to marry can afford this, sure it CAN cost however much a person wants to spend- but it need not.

oh dear

shall I copy and paste or shall I not bother for people who can't be bothered to read themselves?

glad you accept my other point, tis nice to be appreciated

How Tamarto I know cos I did this recently... Ah, you're having me on...

Really, cos i'd quite like to get married after reading this thread however we do not have a spare £115 kicking around, and that's pressuming we have no rings etc, i really wouldn't say that the vast majority who wish to marry can afford it at all unless you have some other statistic to back it up.

No i phoned them yesterday and asked.

Well you see - im a pretty apathetic voter. However, on account of the fact that this country is going to the dogs, i thought i might vote and vote conservative (im a labour person really) but this thread has finally made my mind up - i am so definately NOT going to vote conservative and their "family values" and have deciced that David Cameron, for example, is a twat.

Lib dems then??

Monster raving looney party.

marantha, you do make a valid point, and one argued by my priest - he even offered to marry me and DP for free!!! bless him, catholic don't you know, he loses sleep over us lost sheep.

So, for yawntastic reasons that i can't be arsed to go into, mentioned above bla bla bla - DP and I don't want to get married. One of those reasons, and to be honest, the one that tipped the balance was - when my BIL got married, he spent £10K £10K FFS!!! He had a registry office do, followed by a reception at a local pub/hotel - it was very nice, the food was lovely - he invited the whole extended family - you know, cousins he hadn't seen for years, friends - we left early due to having a young DD. But as we were leaving, people were getting trollied on the free alcohol etc etc. The balloons that they paid £500 (i kid you not) were being let go by the kiddies - no one minded of course. The bride and groom looked knackered trying to get round everyone to thank them for coming etc - FUCK THAT!! Seriously put me off. Now i am perfectly aware that we could get married for free even - but thats not the done thing is it, there would be tremendous pressure to have the whole wedding hoo ha. Not for me - thanks.

I think people who do pare it right down and bloody clever but terribly brave

*LucyEllen..." I am neither clever or brave- but I am sick of this thread now- all the value judgements, all the bitchiness.

For goodness sake, people, all marriage is is a legal thing that people can/cannot do to make them legally tied to someone.

It doesn't necessarily mean they're in love/committed.

The only thing that winds me up is the making of cohabitees married when they have their personal reasons NOT to want to be married.

Tarmato Please I did not say EVERYBODY could afford the £100-odd quid to marry.

Well i know i'm not a tiny minority in that fact so i questioned your use of 'vast majority' twice in your last few threads you have said things that are untrue posted as fact i'm just pointing out that actually you are wrong.