Yesterday dh found out that ds2 (6) was being picked on by 2 boys in his year. He along with two friends were being taunted (sp?)called names etc. He was crying had his hand over his ears and did not want to go to school, it took dh quite a while to get him to talk. As I knew the parents of the boys (not particularly well but well enough to have had a night out with them) I said I would talk to them rather than go into school. First I spoke to one othe the other friends parents and asked if their ds had said anything, they said they hadn't but that made sense as ds had been crying and not wanting to come to school but wound not say why. The third child was off school ill for the second day, a bit of an assumption I know but I thought it might be to do with being picked on. The peices seemed to fit so I had a word with the bullys parents and I thought it went well, I took the first parent aside and told her being carefull to play it down and not use the word bullying, she brought him over got me to tell him off and got him to say sorry. She then went back to the group she was stood with and pointed out the other childs dad and with me told him. He brought child over had a word and got him to appologise. I got my ds to accept appology and shake hands and it was left at that.
This morning I was rounded on by both Mum's saying that they were confused by what was going on as they had both given their children a real telling off last nigh but both children were denying it. They had spoken to someone not involved's child who knew nothing about anything happening. They had spoken to the Mum of the one that had been off ill and found out he had not said anything, I confirmed I had spoken to her last night and she had said her ds had said nothing. They had also spoken to the other child that did not want to go to school and where saying that her ds had not named names (I never said he did). One of the mums had a go at me for using the word bullying saying it was a strong wrod and there children where denying it, I said I said picked on she said you said bullying the whole group heard. I know for sure when I approached her I used picked on as I was being very carefull as I hate this type of confrontation. I vaugely think I may of said bullying later on after she used the word but I can't be sure of what was said. I feel totally ganged up on on they are pretty much demamding more info, for me to find out what happened etc. I have spoken to dh and he is not happy for the subject to be brought up with ds unless he himself brings it up again.
I am now questioning myself and have been dwelling on it all day unable to think of anything else, I am dreading going to pick ds's up and seeing the group all stood there talking about it. I didn't expect this, I can't help thinking I should of just let the school deal with it, but though appraoching the parents would be better for everyone.
I know I am overlly sensitive, worn out etc at the moment. We are 3 months into our first foster placement and it is so much harder more draining etc. than I could of ever imagined and I did something stupid last night that could of spoiled a good friends suprise for another good friend, totaly by accident and that friend is not cross with me (or at least I don't think so!), but it all makes me feel more crap about what I do.
Please help give me some perspective and let me know what do and say to minimise this mess.