To hope,when peopletalk about the jobless/ benefits claimants etc and how awful they are, they don't mean me, and cares like me?

[Peachy]

So many threads lately where people talk about how lucky benefits claimants are compared to them, and how much better off they should be than the welfare dependant.

Well I worked right up until ds1's diagnosis, Dh worked right up until redundancy in a demanding FT job and is a FT student and has a PT job now (I am a PT student as well a registered carer, for ds3 who is also now diagnosed autistic).

I got my degree in 2008 hoping to train as either a teacher or SW afterwards, caring has taken both options as I can only be away from the house 9.30 - 12.30 becuase of childcare and SN transport. I look daily for jobs fitting that, but even when they do come up I don't even get an interview.

I consider myself far from underclass,and hate feeling that I am part of one just becuase I am ATM reliant on a welfare state.We can't try any harder,we are doing our very best with a batch of bad luck.

I am sort of sorry for posting this but it is easier to get out of my system than post it daily upset which is happening atm. I am also taking most threads out of my active threads area so I can't be upset again, but it seems sensible ATM.

I am as angry at them as anyone MC, but I get the feeling that as things become tighter for everyone, those of us with (generally LOL- not me I know) less of a voice are included in the mass of undeservings.

my life is far from bad: I am blessed in many ways and am generally happy, but this does still hurt.

Do people really think benefit claimants are lucky compared to them? You are in a really difficult position because you have had choice taken away from you, which is probably something most people don't appreciate.

FWIW I know what you are talking about as I have looked into working part time to fit in around childcare and PT jobs are few and far between. I could probably manage it if we lived in London but then quality of life would be lowered.

I don't feel resentful of benefit claimants, it would be silly to.

However I think if people are capable of work but for whatever reason unable to find a job, they should do voluntary work (maybe call it involuntary work!), partly to keep up their skills base, partly for their own self esteem and something to get up in the morning for.

I also think that there should be a lot more out of school hours help for people with disabled children who can't find a 9 to 3 job. A specialist childminder or nursery, paid at the going rate, so that people like Peachy with good qualifications can use those skills knowing that their children are being picked up from school by a competent person.

'Do people really think benefit claimants are lucky compared to them?'

LOTS of people do.

There's a pervasive train of thought, too, that renting housing from a social landlord (be it a housing association (and keep in mind in many councils ALL socialised housing is now in the hands of a HA)) is free and a luxurious alternative to home ownership.

i can understand how you feel. I lost my job at the end of october last year and had to go on benefits for a month. I hated it with a passion. Luckily i found another good part time job quickly, but i was still on benefits for a month.

Sometimes things happen and the benefits system is there to help out with that.

But people make throw away comments, or stereotype and it feels horrible when you are included in that.
I get that with being a lone parent. Whts worse is my own mother sometimes makes comments about ' single mothers' when i point out to her, that i actually come under that heading she gets all huffy with me and acuses me of being sensitive.

I think, what im trying to say, is people stereotype without thinking.

Brilliant post from StewieGriffinsMom. It's not as simple as benefit claimants are lazy scum, even those claiming long term. I was on benefits for 10 years, it wasn't until I moved into a nice home that I got the motivation to get a degree, so I can own a home instead of being a puppet on a string. When I was in hostels I didn't give a shit about my future, all I could see was misery ahead. Peachy, you have enough to cope with without petty comments to bother you. People who preach and look down on others while never having experienced things are the underclass IMO

They're welcome to my drug-peddling scumbag neighbour, Stewies.

I'll live in one of JK's properties when she's off in another of hers.

I've never got this whole benefit-envy thing. Noone I know on benefits looks like they're having a great time.

I think it's the type of people that I deal with on a daily basis that have got benefits claimants a bad name - those that are institutionalised into benefits, have their entire families on benefits when there is no real reason they could be out at work. Then they commit acquisitive crimes like robbing old ladies, shoplifting and burglary to feed their drugs habits, yet the system bends over backwards to try and help them. Or people on benefits while they are actually working but not declaring. Unfortunately that is the portrayal that the red top paers want to attach to all benefits claimants and a lot of people just accept what the mirror/mail/whatever tell them without question.

FWIW I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being a "normal" two income family to managing a SN child and redundancy. It must be awful and I certainly would never envy anyone having to deal with it. And anyone that thinks that's an "easy life" must need their heads examined

If you go into my local council to pay your council tax or whatever, it is FULL of posters addressed to fake benefit claimants. The implication is that there are millions upon millions of fake benefit claimants out there. Really stupid poster campaign imo - it makes people assume that everyone on benefits is out to cheat, which is utter rubbish.

So sorry you're having a tough time Peachy, I think you're right to feel upset.

Peachy - you don't even have to explain yourself or justify why or who your are. If people have hardline opinions on groups or lifestyles they have probably never even lived with then bollocks to them because they are uninformed and quite often like it that way.

It's my arse, but not everyone feels like they do. Sadly those who take a human slant on life tend to be less likely to shout about their opinions, and therefore it feels like it.

as my nan rightly says 'It would be a misfortune to be liked by them'

too them

Dashing to school run......

Rofl

I'll get mi coat...

We live in a private rented, its not a bad houe actually-we got it when DH was in FT work and I was bringing in a student income, wearelucky to have an incredible landlady but we do have that terrible uncertainty. I don't think many other landlords would take our family with all we are even though through effort we can just about pay our own rent (though we are entitled to help with rent). If it's not gained through FT employment no landlord wants to know IME.

Our childcare problems is aprtly as the school refuses to offer anything in the line of breakfast clubs, ds1 is aggressive so though school would be just about OK no other nnursery is worth risking,and we live in a very small town. We do have a CM who adores DS3 and would take him again (she was his before school) but the SNU taxi picks up when she has to do a school run and it all gets so damned fiddly. DH's training /work means all hours although he has good earning potential afterwards, and I am v v proud of him as he is doing well, getting A-B grades and thriving. I thought redundancy would send him back into the awful depression he once had (and worked through) but it seems not.

However I have just seen the marvellous sight of a classmate ds3 had before going to SNU and I last saw with no hair and very ill with chemo, bouncing through the park and looking healthy. As such, life seems good again. Bless her.

Peachy, the welfare system was designed to help people like you.
People who currently have no choices.
No-one should begrudge you that.

The problem stems from those that abuse the system because they do have choices.

eg my ex-sister in law.

When she separated from brother in law, she had two choices

1. Work more hours ( both children in school, Dad has them regularly, more hours offered).

2.Ask brother in law for more money ( he earns 100k.)

She chose option three. Tax credits.

I think benefits usually go to the right people - people with disabilities, pensioners and carers.

While there are some people who are scamming the system, there are a lot of other people who don't claim the benefits that they are entitled to. So I do not think the benefits bill is more of a burden on the country than it is meant to be.

Tree you're right, I don't have to explain myself. But if I don't, I can't complain when nobody gets it either.

It is heartening to read these posts.

I do want to work one day, my MA is in ASD and will be relevant whether or not I can I think, with my boys. I already try and do voluntary work at school, though that's getting ahrd with dh's course as they have alot of guest lecturers in and you have to be able to commit IYSWIM. I dolove it though so try to keep it going.

A big part is that I feel guilty.My parents never claimed a day until retirement (and then only because their pensions went under). I have their work ethic I think. Dh is very firmly of the 'we are tryiong so hard, what else can we do, why feel bad?' persuasion which is probably healthier. Esp. as he is the one coming home from Uni to his internet sales stuff to do.

just an anecdote...not an opinion

when I was at uni and living that studenty lifestyle in a northern city over 15 years ago I knew a few folk who were young but not students living a studenty lifestyle( and actually fairly middle class) spend all their dole money on the day they got it( on dope and going out). an exp. had also spent the year circa 99 straight after uni in benefits and supplementing his income with petty drug dealing. He spent his day playing the xbox with his mates, going to the pub and nipping back to his mums for money / washing etc.

then he went on to train to be a teacher which is when I met him!
at the time I thought nothing of it ( because I was young and didn't have opinions on much)as he wasn't the first person I knew who had "year out" or lived this lifestyle coutesy of the taxpayer

eventually I'm sure the DHSS got wise but at that time it was possible to do this.

I have NO idea if you could do the same now and actually doubt it. but you can see where some folk get there ideas from.

their - sorry

I can Isolde,I guess I just hope that peoplenow that you can't generalise,there will always be idiots.

I am not pretending we live a life of deprivation BTW- we have the od bottle of wine, and go camping. We're even getting a large screen TV this week LOL (it's a gift from FIL, he has a new one and ours is breaking).

I can't remember last time we were in apub though, and it is tight- as of course it must be, I am not asking for more.

You know though, there have been two people on MN in the past told me in all seriousness I should be put in a workhouse with my boys. That shocked me.

Peachy - but you are working, you are a carer. DOn't see benefits as taking from the state, think of it as your wage (albeit no doubt a pittance compared to what you should probably be earning!). If you weren't doing what you are, you would be paying someone else to do it.

And stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Walk a mile in my shoes and all that.