To hope,when peopletalk about the jobless/ benefits claimants etc and how awful they are, they don't mean me, and cares like me?

[Peachy]

So many threads lately where people talk about how lucky benefits claimants are compared to them, and how much better off they should be than the welfare dependant.

Well I worked right up until ds1's diagnosis, Dh worked right up until redundancy in a demanding FT job and is a FT student and has a PT job now (I am a PT student as well a registered carer, for ds3 who is also now diagnosed autistic).

I got my degree in 2008 hoping to train as either a teacher or SW afterwards, caring has taken both options as I can only be away from the house 9.30 - 12.30 becuase of childcare and SN transport. I look daily for jobs fitting that, but even when they do come up I don't even get an interview.

I consider myself far from underclass,and hate feeling that I am part of one just becuase I am ATM reliant on a welfare state.We can't try any harder,we are doing our very best with a batch of bad luck.

I am sort of sorry for posting this but it is easier to get out of my system than post it daily upset which is happening atm. I am also taking most threads out of my active threads area so I can't be upset again, but it seems sensible ATM.

I think these comments usually come from people with limited life experience.

I don't have time for them. They bore me.

Don't let them upset you.

i think there's a few reasons why people get pissed off with the benefit system (NONE of which have ANYHTING to do with your situation, you sound like you're doing a fab job)

• the people who are scamming the system
• the whole ethos as claiming benefits as a career choice
• the lack of financial support from the system some middle income families recieve. I thought we would get more than we did when we had our DD. I felt like I had been paying into the system to get buggar all in return compared to others (which was the wrong way to look at it I now know)

Anyone with a special needs child who gets accused of being a freeloader should take up thai boxing IMO. It's the only way. My mate has a son with various issues due to lack of oxygen at birth and people are jealous that he gets free drama and swimming FFS!

peachy ignore them they are twats!
lol@ junglist .

You know though, there have been two people on MN in the past told me in all seriousness I should be put in a workhouse with my boys. That shocked me

then they are shortsighted fools who don't know you peachy. the benefit system is supposed to help/support people like you.

MDS is right some are giving benefit claimants a bad name. Another anecdote-my DH has a female polish colleague who works very hard doing actually something quite menial and boring when she is trained and educated to a career of a much higher standard. She is saving for the long term and eventually will return to her native country or she might not. As a fellow EU taxpayer she has a right to work here and claim benefits/ mat leave etc should she fall ill / pregnant. - just as I could in Poland I guess. She had to be forced to go home from work one daywhen she had really bad flu and bought my DH a box of chocs for driving her home.

OTOH a friend who is a GP said she often requested by some of her female pregnant EU patients to be signed off work and be given sick notes( and therefore claim some benefits????)- again don't know- this was what my firend was implying. They often return to their home countries to have baby/ be with their families during this time.

This could be seen as scrounging or could be viewed as something entirely different.

"try walking in another mans shoes" as another poster said.

Walk a mile in your shoes and all that.

Peachy, noone has the right to question your lifestyle or circumstances. Please don't feel embarrassed, got at or the need to justify yourself, you don't need to.

You are a kind and intelligent poster, that is really all that matters on MN.

some people are such idiots and if they had ever had to spend a day claiming benefits then they would have a very different point of view.

I live in a council flat... its ok. I cant complain but the estate I live on is right next to a very expencive are in Bristol and if I venture up to the shops with my double buggy a lot of narrow minded people will stare at me and make rude comments.

Do you know what else makes me laugh.... im considered lazy etc by people on the outside. I would LOVE a job but right now it would be silly as Im trying to finish my degree and also because my head is a bit muddled. If someone offered me a job in my field I would sntch it up.... but at the moment there isnt a lot going.

also being a mother is a job in itself. sometimes circumstances change and we can not support ourselves.... thaats what benefits are there for.

I'm going to start a group of rogues who go round replacing every face in those 'catch out benefits cheats' with pictures of Fred Goodwin and Peter Viggers.

Peachy - sometimes being too nice can be a bit of a curse - thinking of your comment "But if I don't (explain), I can't complain when nobody gets it either.". Why not complain? Why not put on your judgy pants for a change - regarding the people who have either led a very sheltered life or have a complete lack of empathy.

I don't think I have judgey pants TC- I saw a few things today when out I thought- and then toldmyself off for judging, partly though thats becuase I know not to assume- the amount of peoplewho accused DHand BIl of being lazy shirkers for being out at midday when they were on shifts taught me that LOL!

They never mean You, it's always Them that are to blame.

It doesn't matter who You are, or what your situation is, You will never be to blame. Just the faceless Them.

wise words indeed coldtits

I normally avoid benifits threads, but I hope that when people are on about benifit 'scum' that I am not linked into that.

Both me and DH worked till DS1 was dxd with Cerebral palsy, when I gave up work to be a fulltime mum/carer.

DH worked fulltime, until his atheris (sp?) in his knees made it impossible to work. His consultant refused to sign him back to work. We have recently found out that all the muscles in his knees have also all snapped and stretched.

We have been on benifits for about 6 years now, as DD1 was also dxd with CP at 13 months old.

I have been looking for a parttime job as I need to get out of this house, but can't work fulltime as I am needed to drive the kids to school, appointments etc. DH can't drive anymore without sereve pain.

Hate being on benifits, never thought this would be my live, hate relying on handout and chartity.

The thing is, People shouldnt be able to have an opt out clause for those that they recognise on here.

its like saying all black men rape and steal. but then saying oh but not bob down the road, he wouldn't do that he is lovely.

if you are so ignorant as to have such disgraceful opinions of those who are less fortunate than yourselves don't then come on trying to dig yourself out of the hole by excusing some of us from your utterly offensive rantings.

If you think us benefit scroungers are the scum of the earth then yes you think that I am scum.

If what you mean is that those who illegally claim benefits that they are not entitled to then say that.
In that case you mean criminal fraudsters, not benefit claimants.

Applauds mamazon!

True.

I never understood all this, 'But not you,' BS.

Peachy - I really struggle with this as well - it gets my back right up when people on here parrot things they have heard about benefits and what you actually get and yet dont know the first thing about it.

I do one post where I try and educate and then hide the thread - dont let the bastards get you down.

After the big debate about SN - this should be next up - people say what they like on here about benefit claimers and the 'underclass' (how I hate that term) and lots of it goes unremarked.

is rather pathetically proud of the applaud from Expat. thought i may have been flamed

I think Mamazon has hit the nail on the head. Outrage should be saved for those committing benefit fraud, not those who need benefits to get them through a difficult time.

Anyone can suddenly find themselves out of a job, abandoned by DH/DW/DP or diagnosed with an illness meaning they can no longer work and need to claim. There but for the grace of God and all that.

Peachy

We were a 'normal' family too. I had aspirations. I had lots of plans.I had a healthy OH and two amazing kids.

Then life hit us like a fecking brick.

OH got dx with MS
We got a phone call from SS asking us to look after our 8 week old greatnephew. He is still with us 7 years later and is my beautiful son now but he has SN.
DD got DX with cancer and I had to give up my well paid job to care for her.
DD died and my plans for the future died with her.

I am now back at work 5 years after her dx but I will never be the same. OH is still working part time but we dont know for how long. I have a lovely part time job but have to limit my hours due to caring responsiblities (and being fairly fragile a lot of the time).

So we do claim benefits and OH is 'lucky' because he gets DLA and a car. We get some DLA for DS.

But I wish to feck I could have DD back and OH back to health and DS NT and to have my life back.

I am very thankful for the help we get. I wish we didnt have to have it though. I do have my pride.

You shouldn't have to justify yourself, chegirl.

Nor should anyone claiming what he/she is legally entitled to.

I committed benefit fraud once, back when I was young. I was working part time and claiming dole for the days I wasn't working.

My horrible employer would only give me 2 hour shifts, four days a week. Meaning I would lose benefits on those days even though only working for two hours. Crazy system.

So when I filled in my form each week, I said I had worked four hours twice a week. ie the same amount of work, but condensed.

Anyway didn't they find me out and haul me over the coals. Was worst day of my life. I went to sign on and was led away into (I'm not kidding) a room with concrete walls and no windows. Bulb on a string - seriously. Horrible scary man started interrogating me as if I'd committed a heinous crime.

I was told that I'd face prosecution, a criminal record etc. I went home sobbing - I was 20 at the time.

Anyway they didn't follow it up in the end and I have no criminal record but it's funny to think that a MC stereotype like me was not only a benefits claimant but a benefits fraudster in the past. I could be on benefits again in the future - who knows. So much of it is simply down to luck.

A lot of people judged "under" class are proud to be. A lot of my mates are on benefits and we love to sneer at the playground snobs TBH. One nearly fainted when she found out I was doing a degree because I look and sound like a chav. Me and mine know about the real world, we've been through hard times and some have come out the other side, some are still struggling. NOBODY knows what's around the corner, so sneer now, cry later

Oh and seeing as we're admitting things I cleaned on the side for a few hours a week while on benefits. I don't care and aren't sorry because I didn't have anything left to pawn.

Peachy
You have absolutely no need to justify yourself in any way. Those who say such things are ignorant and not worth wasting emotional space over.
However I struggle with similar. Trouble is there seems to be a culture of 'anti benefit claimants' built up. Not a day goes by but our local rag has a story of a 'benefit cheat' caught, usually reported in a gleeful, holier-than-thou tone. And the letters page reflects this kind of feel. Sometimes the story featured worries me, as it features for example a DLA claimant who has been 'caught out' say walking into town, and the ignorance about disabilities/chronic conditions appalls me. I walk into town, I go to the gym, I even climb mountains, one week. Then the next, like today, will be spent utterly dependant on others, unable to move. I hate being stuck like this, unable to work, claiming benefit and being thought of in the kind of light peddled by such ignorance. I suspect benefit cheats are in the great minority and yet colour views on the majority.
Some people are unlucky enough to have situations where they depend on benefits. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Please take heart, Peachy, you can hold your head high in all you do for your lovely family.