To think we should have finished off the Queen of Huns?

[Hullygully]

Hi Pag. I know you don't 'know' me - but so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Wish you all good wishes.

Didn't you meet in Egypt? Or the earlier Hall? How passing strange. Ne'er mind, you'll be all of a grope e'er long if I know our Pag.

Wassup Paggy?

Oh mes cheres amies! I have wandered all this long day alone through vast deserts and towering dunes, alone, alone, I say, keening for my comrades! Sustained only by a few falafels, but at last we are reunited! May I introduce this short little French Soldier who seems to have very big notions of his importance in the world?

Napoleon, come here! Meet my dearest bosom buddies!

And what an adorable bebe! how quaint he looks!

But zut! We have quite forgot MsMary. Tis true she can be a little gruff, and possibly shaves, but she is one of us.

MS MARY!!

Dear little Napoleon tells me that Mongolia is a horrid and chilly place, reminding him all too keenly of his failed attempt on Russia (memories of the Count lacerate at my heart but I push them aside) whether strict historical accuracy allows him to be in Egypt ere his ill-fated mission to conquer Russia, (let alone did he even come here at all) I leave to the God's to decide...

But Time Worm Carter should surely still be around to offer us shelter in the (underground) tomb of Tutenhkhamun?

Napoleon has a very shapely obelisk in tow, which he fondly calls Rosetta...

Methinks he will soon find it ript from his sweaty little grasp...

He also tells me of his lost loves, and his unhappy marriage to Maria Louisa of Austria who Really Doesn't Understand Him...am I being a fool in warming to to his fiery gaze?

Have you met a traveller from an antique land? If so, I recommend you dismiss him forthwith.

Or do I mean forsooth?

Oh, I don't know if Napoleon is anything other than the rough Corsican peasant pretending to be Emperor of France that he claims he is, I do, however, have a yearning to gaze upon the face of Ozymadias, King of Kings and behold how the mighty have fallen...

Could we fit a day trip to Petra in at the same time?

Look upon my works, you mighty, and despair?

But Petra was the Blue Peter dog, shurely??

Ah, now, a fine, cliff-sized, pink stone temple to labradors....I think a large part of Middle England may soon be on charabanc tours to the Middle East if that were the case...

Mount Ruffmore?

Inspired, chere Princesse, inspired!

Why Mr Carter! How delightful. It is so kind of you to agree to attempt a guided tour for us once again. We were so looking forward to learning about the Egyptians make-up and hair tips, and what they think of feeding their children falafel from the market without paying first, we are thinking of a pilot programme in due course. Let us rouse the others and make ready. I am sure the Queen of the Huns can wait a while.

Goodness. Such a swoon!

The last time we were all together we were in Cairo. Then I awoke from my protracted swoon to find I was alone, even dear Aloysius having left me, though it now transpires that he was nothing but a ne'er do well who was merely after my money, since my reticule and all its contents have disappeared.

I have been forced to rely on the sympathy of strangers to bring me thus far.

I feel I need to hear more about this Queen of Huns and also catch up on our general situation as I fear my wits are still somewhat addled by my slumbers.

However I am inconvenienced at present by circumstance. There is a Small Boy who requires my attention and who will not be denied. I look forward to discovering the secrets of Egyptian make-up anon.....

Why hello Mme Shodan, how nice to see you, I am so sorry to hear of your disappointment with Aloysius.

Cutlass Lester! Where is Cutlass? We clean forgot him an' all. But we shall surely be forgiven our oversights in light of the Great Battle.

LESTER!

good morning all. What a beautiful vista!

How are we all this morning,You there Hully , how fresh and robust youlook this morn! the warmer clime suits you ( unlike poor umamis nose which has still not yet recovered)
I confess I am still somewhat bleary eyed and am shortly away to Mothercare for fresh supplies for darling Nigel but wished to see who is assembled, having found their way to this remote land.

I am hale and hearty - much soothed by various rubs, gropes and slightly awkward hugs.

I shall return, by which time I hope Lester will have arrived and our plans for this next quest, much advanced.

Good Morrow Mistress Paggy. I do hope things are slightly less vapour-inducing this morn?

.

Abercrombie, dearest, you know I love you but please hang a towel over it. What would Mother think?

Ahem...So this is the Valley of the Kings is it? I must say, I had expected something a little more regal. All these dusty, sweaty men digging and carrying rocks around, it is quite vulgar. Mr Carter, why have you brought us here? What can there be in this desolate place to divert gentlewomen such as ourselves?

Can anyone enlighten me as to where and who my current husband is?

Well I must say I am inclined to agree with you, Widow. I had expected something a little more regal, but this is just rocks, dust and heaving men with broad shoulders and glistening backs toiling beneath the hot sun.

But look, Mr Carter beckons us o'er yonder, let us investigate his dusky crevices.

Down there Mr Carter? Are you quite certain that it is advisable? Very well then. Never let it be said that an English woman (and the occasional French fancy) baulked when presented with a dark, hot shaft.

OK where are we? and can someone please help me get Nigel off his camel. It appears I strapped him on too tightly for fear of the pram huns using their deft 'ted rogers a la 321' faster than light unbuckling fingers to get at him.

Camel riding is quite an eye opener ladies, I truly can smell the chaffing.