Leaving hospital on public transport

[hellywobs]

In a couple of weeks my son is due to have a small operation, which should be able to be done as a day case. I live an hour from the hospital and had intended to go on the train, as I don't like driving in the dark at the best of times and I don't like motorway driving either. My husband is not keen on driving in the dark either and he gets very stressed when he doesn't know where he's going - yes, we're a pair of wimps!

Also I think a train might be more comfortable than our car, especially if I invest in a first class ticket for the journey back. I have now discovered that the hospital has a policy of not letting children go home by public transport (they must leave by either car or taxi, nothing else). I am not happy about driving in the dark on the motorway on a cold (possibly icy/snowy) January evening. The hospital says it is dangerous to use public transport. I think it is more dangerous to use a car. Their rationale is that if there were a problem after the operation, you can't stop a train (no, but you can arrange an ambulance to be at the next station and there are a couple of major hospitals en route). I'm not sure what the issue with buses is. The sister on the ward said that if there is a problem on the motorway I can stop on the hard shoulder and call an ambulance (and wait for a lorry to plough into the back of me). My mum thinks I should stay overnight, which might be a good idea in any event and the hospital will arrange this, but this means I need to book a B&B for my husband in the area (I can stay with my son at the hospital) and of course I can't really book a B&B because the operation might be cancelled for a dozen reasons, especially if we get more snow, and I would still have to pay for the room, so I'll have to book something at short notice and hope I can get somewhere (otherwise he'll have to come home and come back for us in the morning). But has anyone else experienced this, and what happens if you defy the hospital - I have visions of their calling social servicess.
It just seems like adding unnecessary stress to what is already very stressful. I'm also not keen on staying overnight because of the risk of infection etc. Plus: there is a lack of parking so for everybody else they advise you use public transport, so even if we took the car we might not get a space - so even more stress. I do think these policies are daft - it should depend on the needs and circumstances of the child.

I had day surgery earlier this week and can tell you that there is no way I would have been able to cope with travelling on public transport - way too woozy and it always takes much longer on PT unless you're in central London

If you have a car and are able to drive, it seems a bit cruel to put your own fears and anxieties over the wellbeing of your son.

YABU

so can't you go alone? your husband could visit and go home on a train....

could you practice early evening driving now, so you get used to dusky conditions and then progress to darker nights? I find motorway driving easier than anywhere else at night - it's practically straight and you just stick in the inside lane and go 60/70... not much can go wrong really

What a ridiculous policy. Surely it is for you to decide what is the safest way to take your son home after hospital treatment and not the hospital.

They will not be coming out into the carpark to check how you are getting home. Take a taxi from the hospital - they will never know that it is taking you to the train station rather than home will they ?

I am a surgeon by the way so have a bit of insight into post op care too.

I wouldnt go home from hospital in a train but I dont drive - I would use a taxi. My husband had a hernia operation and came home in a taxi - he was far more comfortable as he could get in a sit down rather than waiting around for a trian. It was quite expensive but worth it just for the comfort.

Depending on what kind of operation it is your son might not feel up to walking to the train and trains are just not as comfortable as cars because you have so many people around.

Whilst it is a ridiculous policy I think best way is to book B&B - most do not want paid until you arrive, and check that on booking. You could also talk to the hospital social work team - they are there to help, not make life difficult.

Sounds like the train would be a better idea.
Why would your Dh need to stay in a b&b?

I thought this was going to be about leaving hosp with a new baby.

I think that you should drive your son home after an op, sorry. He will be feeling a bit uncomfortable and 'weird' due to the drugs so to be able to get in the back of a car he knows will be comforting. It would be horrid to feel all weird and like people are looking at you, and say if he were to vomit (IME quite possible) he wont feel 'on show' in a car.

Also how will he get to train and from train station to your house? Youy might be pushing him too much to manage that.

So sorry but def YABU.

Erm...get a cab to the train station?

And while lady biscuit is right that your son might feel a bit woozy I am sure you will be able to look after him. He will be walking out of the day case ward afterall (or pushchair etc if younger - you don't say how old he is) and wouldn't be allowed home if he was too groggy or not well enough.

Fwiw adults aren't allowed to have daycase surgery unless they have an adult to spend the night with them and take them home afterwards as the effects of the anaesthetic can take this long to wear off. it is one of the criteria for deciding whether someone is suitable to have day case surgery or not. But I have never heard of the hospital dictating how someone should get home and if I was asked (assuming normal mobility when well and not having had an operation that would drastically affect this) I would have no issues with someone going home by public transport

Seems a bit over the top. If he's fit for discharge then he's fit for travelling surely - they have to take that into account i would think? I travelled home on the train after an eye op when a child and no one called social services

I agree, taxi to the station, if train is what you prefer!

Good luck to your son, by the way. Hope all goes well.

And if you have no car and live an hour away from the hospital I'm sure they'd be happy to pay your taxi fare.

Yeah, right.

I get very cross about hospitals telling us what we can and can't do when it isn't strictly necessary. When I was booked in for day surgery 5 years ago I was told that I was not allowed go home that night if I had no-one at home to look after me. Not allowed???

The doc added that if he thought I was going to do so he would cancel the operation.

As I had 2 DDs to care for and no-one to look after them, plus 2 dogs at home who needed me I had no choice. I lied! "Oh of course there will be someone at home to care for me Doctor...."

I'm sure thats not something you'd like to do about your DS, but I think its worth challenging the hospital about all the same.

Actually Vallhalla while I understand why you did what you did (not judging!) there are sensible reasons why there should be another adult at home to make sure you are OK after a general anaesthetic. While uncommon you could have had a late reaction to it / fainted at the top of the stairs etc etc and this is why we say that there should be an adult with you that night. If your dds were small I think that this perhaps makes it more risky - what would have happened to them if something had happened to you?

Of course your doc should have explained this clearly and then you can make an informed decision as to whether you find a friend who can stay or lie as you did rather than lecturing you that they were going to cancel the op!

Think this is sensible whereas the trasnport thing is bollocks tbh.

It may be their policy to discourage it , but it is totally unenforceable.they can't detain your child against your wishes much less specify how he goes home.I would be tempted to turn up to collect him on a unicycle just to wind them up

But the hosp has said the boy can stay overnight or go home in a car. They arent forcing anything just laying out the options.

I honestly think they have the childs interests at heart here.

Though i would admit to ignoring rules regarding adults, i figured as long as i didnt try to sue them if it all went wrong i would be ok.

Do they think everyone is made of money? Where are these policies coming from? What is wrong with public transport???

This and insisting people take babies home in carseats when they don't own a car

Taxi to the station gets my vote too. The bonus is that if you do not have to drive, you can devote 100% of your attention to your DS on the train which you could not do otherwise.

"It may be their policy to discourage it , but it is totally unenforceable.they can't detain your child against your wishes much less specify how he goes home.I would be tempted to turn up to collect him on a unicycle just to wind them up"

Agreed and PMSL pantomimecow.

alicet, my DD were quite young (5 and 7, just realised that it was more than 5 years ago!), and had anything happened to me they would have had absolutely no-one to care for them, you're right.

The risks were explained to me before I made my decision to lie, because I had 2 DDs and absolutely no-one to care for them once after-school club was over. (But PS I had the sense not to climb the stairs when I got home! )

how old is your son, if he's in a buggy or even too old for a buggy but small enough to carry then i reckon the train will be fine.

the only problem is vomiting - ime vomiting is very common after GA... i managed to hold it till i got out of the taxi but would have hated to be vomiting on the train

should add, if it IS snowy i'd MUCH rather be on a train / at a train station than on a motorway.

When I was sterilised I made it clear at the first appointment I had to go home that day as I had no one to look after DD. They said it was fine, then on the day said I'd probably have to stay overnight, I said no, and then after the op, said I couldn't go home unless I had an adult with me.
I discharged myself in the end, when they wouldn't let me go to the toilet, and told them I was staying with my Dad, and went home on my own.

I also travelled from London to Glasgow on an overnight bus after leaving the clinic 2 hours after a GA and I'd had one the day before too.

Some of us don't really have another option.

We live in such a Health and Safety culture that it is getting to the point that no one is allowed to make decisions for themselves.

I think that it is right to listen to the hospital, but to find out exactly what the risks are and if the worst happens, what action is necessary. If a smooth train ride is dangerous, then perhaps it would be wiser to occupy a hospital bed for another night.

I think the OP is being very sensible and has assessed many of the risks. If it's a long way in the dark, and you truly feel more confident on the train - and you have thought about contingencies - then I don't see the problem. At least on the train, you can give him your undivided attention and spot anyting as soon as it happens, and then deal with it (you can use your phone without having to find a place to pull over).

Presumably you will have a taxi to take you to the station so they will let you escape.

When I had my last baby, I had to leave hospital by wheelchair just to satisfy their H&S rules and nothing to do with my clinical needs. Madness.

yabu(soory) all hospitals have that rule.