Leaving hospital on public transport

[hellywobs]

In a couple of weeks my son is due to have a small operation, which should be able to be done as a day case. I live an hour from the hospital and had intended to go on the train, as I don't like driving in the dark at the best of times and I don't like motorway driving either. My husband is not keen on driving in the dark either and he gets very stressed when he doesn't know where he's going - yes, we're a pair of wimps!

Also I think a train might be more comfortable than our car, especially if I invest in a first class ticket for the journey back. I have now discovered that the hospital has a policy of not letting children go home by public transport (they must leave by either car or taxi, nothing else). I am not happy about driving in the dark on the motorway on a cold (possibly icy/snowy) January evening. The hospital says it is dangerous to use public transport. I think it is more dangerous to use a car. Their rationale is that if there were a problem after the operation, you can't stop a train (no, but you can arrange an ambulance to be at the next station and there are a couple of major hospitals en route). I'm not sure what the issue with buses is. The sister on the ward said that if there is a problem on the motorway I can stop on the hard shoulder and call an ambulance (and wait for a lorry to plough into the back of me). My mum thinks I should stay overnight, which might be a good idea in any event and the hospital will arrange this, but this means I need to book a B&B for my husband in the area (I can stay with my son at the hospital) and of course I can't really book a B&B because the operation might be cancelled for a dozen reasons, especially if we get more snow, and I would still have to pay for the room, so I'll have to book something at short notice and hope I can get somewhere (otherwise he'll have to come home and come back for us in the morning). But has anyone else experienced this, and what happens if you defy the hospital - I have visions of their calling social servicess.
It just seems like adding unnecessary stress to what is already very stressful. I'm also not keen on staying overnight because of the risk of infection etc. Plus: there is a lack of parking so for everybody else they advise you use public transport, so even if we took the car we might not get a space - so even more stress. I do think these policies are daft - it should depend on the needs and circumstances of the child.

If you can get someone else to pick you up, who doesn't mind driving in the dark, do that.

If a taxi is cheapers than a first class train ticket, do that.

Or you could also ask them to provide an ambulance - up here they've got sort of non emergency ambulances for getting people who can't use public transport to and from hospital in non urgent cases. My Mother has used it a few times to get to and from physio following an operation.

Otherwise, like most have said, get a taxi to the train station and don't worry about it.

Alternatively, maybe ask your hubby to do a practice run to and from the hospital, so he's happy with the route, or borrow a sat nav from someone?

How about you go down on the train in the evening, stay overnight with DS and DH picks you both up in the car the next day so you can drive home in the daylight?

why cant you just book a minicab rather than faff about on public transport

it is

quick
less noisy
not intrusion of others
guaranteed seat

think you are getting bitty orked up and creating unnecessary stress. it need not be so stressful. either book a car either minicab or someone friend/family drive is the sensible option

why do you ant to take public transport.squash on tube with public etc rather than take a minicab

When I left hospital after DS's operation - we did get a taxi (it wasn't that far, and in central London so really no one would drive) but honestly they wouldn't have known if we got taxi to nearest train station then got train.

re: vomitting - the hospital didn't have sickbags so you should take with as a precaution although luckily didn't need them.

I wouldn't have driven him myself (unless another adult in car) as I would not have been able to catch any sick.

IMO train much more comfortable that car - ie there is a toilet for example and if he is sick the staff on the train might be helpful.

Also if he is 5 or under take with a lightweight buggy so he doesn't have to walk at all.

I suppose the question is, what would you prefer - train or car? If you'd rather be driven home that take PT, I think it's a bit mean to deny your son that, given that you have a car

I meant - what would you prefer if it were you that were having the op, rather than him

I think it depends on how old your son is, what kind of operation is being done, and, most importantly, your own instinct.

Many day-case ops on youngsters are done under GA rather than a local because that's easier on the child. In most of those cases, the GA is very light.

I don't think there can be a comparison between adult and child cases, because there can be issues with adults doing potentially dozy/dangerous things post-anaesthetic that children wouldn't be doing, like cooking.

In my opinion, if your son does have problems on the journey home, it would be much better to be on the train with two adults who can instantly respond to his needs, amongst other adults who would hopefully help out if needed, rather than in a car on a motorway.

You obviously feel that the train is the best way. You very well might find that when your son is discharged after his op, no-one will really question whether the taxi is taking you all the way home or going to the railway station.

hope you get something worked out hatever you decide

and hope your son is ok

If I were you I would ask the hospital to book me in overnight. My dd had one of these very light operations where you are supposed to feel absolutely fine and go home the same day: she was shaking and retching for hours afterwards. No way would I have wanted that either alone in a car or in a train.

But of course, if you want to take the train, noone can stop you from taking a cab to the train station.

YABU - this policy is in place for your son's safety, not your convenience. Sorry.

Maxpower- but the point is that it is just a policy.They have no right to either enforce it or to make people believe they can.This government has cowed parents so much that they sometimes forget that the children are actually theirs to look after as they see fit.

We had this problem when DS2 was younger,he had a lot of ops and the hospital would not let us take him home on public transport. The big problem was my DH and I can't drive. I called the ward and was told that we were not allowed to take him home on the bus and they would not let him stay over night. I asked about the possiabity of hosp.transport and was told that we did not meet the critrea as we were well enough to go on public transport. The ward sister told me to hire a car even though we can't drive!

In the end DS2's consulant got some transport for us.

We could not afford the £100 taxi fare and the consulant did not want DS2 be disciminated against.

But this is simply nuts! One adult, one child in a car - we've all, I'm sure, had the experience of driving on our own with a screaming baby where we've wished we could concentrate on the baby not the road.

I was also told that the average life expectancy on the hard shoulder was 6 minutes! (By highway maintenance, probably trying to scare me, but you get the picture.)Not really very long to get an ambulance to you.

I can understand where the policy comes from - short drive by car versus long journey by public transport - but where we're talking over 1/2 hour public transport might even be faster. Certainly could be less stressful.

FWIW I have an appointment for DD at fracture clinic at a hospital which is 45 mins drive away and been advised to use public transport. There is no train, one bus an hour and would take double the journey time. Can't imagine how we could do this if she'd broken her leg!

It simply doesn't make sense to make blanket policies in this area. If a child is not fit to go home by public transport with a parent, then how can they be fit to go in a car with a parent concentrating on driving? Surely, this needs to be considered on a case-by-case basis.

Are you both new drivers? It seems a shame that you and your dh can both drive and have a car but are limiting yourselves due to unfounded fears. Why don't you bite the bullet and just drive, you have to start driving in the dark at some point. Especially in winter when you'll be limited to driving for only a small part of the day. If you really feel that you will not be able to then stay the night in the hospital. Better to err on the side of caution when it comes to a little one's op.

Can you explain again the problems about staying overnight? Why would you need to book a B&B for your husband in the area: can't he just wait at home?

The hospital have the best interests of your ds in mind.

If you wish to disregard their advice you are free to sign the form saying you are taking your son home against medical advice (ie not by car) having had the risks explained to you. Simple.

Personally, I think YABU.

Don't even try to discuss it with hospital any more. If asked say you have booked a taxi, they are not to know taxi is only to station. I've taken myself home by taxi after GA (day surgery) as DS was at home looking after ds, hospital happy as long as it was a taxi but to be honest they were none the wiser, could have been walking/driving for what it's worth.

Lets put this into perspective, they are not going to check, quite frankly they have better things to do (patients to see to).

Ops, meant DH looking after DS!

Aye to taking taxi to station.

Hospitals really shouldn't assume everyone can drive or has access to great wads of cash for a taxi.

Is there a volunteer taxi/ambulance service operating from your hospital?

FFS I drove myself home from several ante natal appointments when they said "your not driving are you"......"of course not

They don't check! I remember worrying about this when DS was born and then after getting a lift, noting that they didn't come and check that I wasn't walking to the bus stop.

don't stress so much about it
why can't you just stay overnight as they suggest and get the train back in the morning? why does your dh have to come over and stay in b and b but he can't drive you back that same night? if he can't drive at night (and I'd be giving him a rocket up the arse if dh tried that on with me if my kids were in hospital) then why not just stay at home and drive over in the morning to pick you up?
how much would a long distance taxi cost? that'd be my preferred option. or a friend who doesn't mind driving you?

YANBU. I honestly don't understand why being in a car is seen as better and safer than public transport. As far as I can see, a train would be better in many ways- ability to look after DS, he can use the toilet, find a more comfortable position without a seat belt etc.

The only thing that would concern me is the amount of walking and standing around he might need to do- if he is too old for a pushchair.

I think if it were me I would try to stay overnight, just to allow him as much recovery time as possible.