To think my Friend/ neighbour is a meany by not lending us her sledges?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

Her sons go to boarding school so aren't here to use them.

I asked very nicely and she said she wouldn't in case they got broken or if someone else asked for them?

Wouldn't have mentioned it but same neighbour accepted me putting money through her door and buying her a online grocery shop last year.

Never said it was me, but she must know.

Flipping heck, I'd no idea that any plastic sledge would cost more than a tenner.

Glad DHs parents had kept his proper wooden sledge in their garage.

I'd be a bit unsure about lending that out because, apart from it being a bit of an heirloom, while its great if used properly, I'd be worried about other people getting their fingers under the runners.

Unfortunately, just because you do favours for people, doesn´t mean that they have to return them.

If you wanted her to know (and clearly you did as you are expecting a return favour) why did you put it through her letterbox instead of giving it to her face to face?

I would be hesitant to loan out any of my kid's stuff. There are bits and bobs that belong to DS and not to me.

I wouldn't ask someone to lend me something like a sledge.
There is a high probability of some damage occurring to it, and then I'd have to replace it.
I'd improvise instead.

I also wouldn't think badly of someone who refused to lend me something. They don't need to provide a reason that you find acceptable.

I think it's a bit rude to ask a favour of someone and then be unkind to them when they don't go along with what you want.

I'd have lent you mine TDWP.

I get a lot of random kids borrowing our stuff, but then it is also reciprocated. DS broke someone's sledge so they had one of our new ones and someone broke one of ours.... they are kids, but I would be cautious about expensive electronic stuff.

That still doesn't mean that you're entitled to use their belongings whenever you wish.

A good deed shouldn't be done with the expectation that you'll receive something in return for it.

I can't be arsed.

I know for sure I would lend something like this out without a seconds thought.

Also there's the whole issue that if the person clearly doesn't need the item back (ie her kids are still away at school) the item may well end up just living in your house, perhaps being lent out to others etc.

She doesn't even need to give a reason. It's her property.

Think we've been here before.

If you can't be arsed then why post on AIBU? if you're going to flounce when others say YABU?

You might lend it,and it's kind to do so, but it doesn't mean that others have to be willing to do the same.

I would lend you my sledge if I had one, DWP. And I think anyone who isn't lending out unused sledges in this fantastic weather is a real meanie, so YANBU!

BTW, who said they manged to get Ikea trays to work, cos I tried one this afternoon, along with an under-bed storage box - both were dismal failures. Poor DD1 was gutted that we didn't manage to sledge .

I asked to borrow it for a couple of hours.

She still has my bendy muffin trays I lent to her a week ago.

You should never give to receive

Maybe she doesn't feel they are hers to lend out. They belong to her children - maybe she feels t should be them who have to give permission to lend them out.

Hi ,
I just wouldn't have asked to borrow a sledge in the first place. It seems quite cheeky !
Our neighbour kindly offered to lend us one

FWIW , I would have lent our sledge to our neighbours.

Well I know that now.

I just find it a little sad.

Up at my parents they have had bad snow for close to a month - my dad has been towing people around and my mum has been sending eggs and milk to all the neighbours they can reach. They don't expect anything in return but surely people can be a bit more neighbourly?

Chances of me breaking a sledge - nil.

This is an AIBU by stealth though I don't think that all this extra information of who did what for whom is really germane to the topic and it still doesn't mean you have any entitlement to her family's belongings.

I do see a difference between lending an item which is relatively cheap and not easily damaged, like a muffin tray, as compared to a sledge, but even if you'd asked to borrow her muffin tray I still think it'd be perfectly reasonable for her to say no.

Also as some posters have mentioned the sledges belong to the children not to the mother and they would be reluctant to lend out their children's belongings without their children having agreed to that.

If you see the relationship as one sided then the onus is on you not on her, to change it, not by expecting her to change and to begin to lend you her belongings, but by asking for your muffin tray back and by longer lending your belongings to her if it bothers you so much.

Why are the chances nil? Sledges can be broken.

Go round and demand those muffin trays back, some people eh!

We should all learn to share - like we keep telling our children to!

Blimey - glad you care so much

I'm off to think about something more important.

Sledges can be lost or stolen, or taken by 'bigger boys' etc.

But all of this is irrelevant - the sledges aren't yours, she has no obligation to lend you anything, and doesn't have to justify her reasons.

Isn't that kind of the end of the matter.

And again the kindness of your parents has little relevance in regards to this matter.

However - you are not borrowing my bl**dy sledge, before you ask!!

Perhaps she is waiting to speak to her DC to see if they are OK about lending them out?

Evidently you do care as you posted on AIBU? and ranted on her 'meaness' for some time.

I do love a good flounce.