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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed that I was called a bad mum because....

78 replies

MsSpentYoof · 09/01/2010 22:21

I 'let' my son get jaundice

This is what a 'friend' said to me (after he was trying to tell me the guy I am seeing with cheat on me simply because he isn't him )

This actually happened a few days ago but I am still miffed about it... any of my MN FB friends probably saw this on my profile (he is now deleted, although the thread remains)

I am pretty sure I ANBU because I am pretty sure there was nothing I could do to stop DS being born with Jaundice...?

His reasoning was that I should have 'gone out' more when I was PG, apart from the fact that DS was born in winter so the amount of sun I would have got would have been limited, and I did go out at least once daily until I wasn't even able to make it up the stairs due to really bad SPD.

So AIBU, or is he a fuckwit?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 23:07

no jaundice isnt caused by mixed race baby,is ineffective liver disposal of bilirubin,is build up of bilirubin causes the yellow tinge

Casmama · 09/01/2010 23:08

He's a fuckwit trying to hurt you cos he fancies you and you are not interested in him. He's not a friend just an immature saddo. Don't give it a second thought and enjoy your relationship.

Pancakeflipper · 09/01/2010 23:12

I laughed out loud at that - rather cheeky of Mr One Brain Cell to pass judgement on your mothering skills.

He's hilarious. Has he got any other gems of ignorance?

duchesse · 09/01/2010 23:14

scottishmummy=chegirl knows it isn't caused by being mixed race. It's just what several MWs told her without stopping to enquire whether there was a better reason than jaundice for her babies being olive skinned. Two of mine have been jaundiced, oddly enough the two with the most intervention at birth. The two physiological third stage babies were absolutely fine.

I have a theory about syntocinon and cord clamping.

scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 23:15

ah,i see.

chegirlsgotheartburn · 09/01/2010 23:16

Could you do me a favour and let the midwives know that SM

scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 23:18

lol my concrete thinking i missed the subtleties and humour of your post,and bitty agahst too

chegirlsgotheartburn · 09/01/2010 23:22

You crack me up SM!

Its not the first time its happened. I cant remember what the last time was but it was very funny that you took me seriously

I am obviously -really-- crap at making jokes too subtle

scottishmummy · 09/01/2010 23:25

see i saw an earnest post and had to reply,fuck me,you have had some daft comments

CardyMow · 10/01/2010 12:14

My DD had jaundice, but she was 5 weeks preemie and I'd had pre-eclampsia. I was told that she was at double risk for it because 1) she was preemie and 2) I'd had pre-eclampsia, and that increases the risk. Happy to report that there was no pre-eclampsia OR Jaundice with DS1 OR DS2 afterwards though. What a fuckwit your lovely ex friend is! Did he go through medical training to come out with that comment, or just go to fuckwittery school??!!

Heqet · 10/01/2010 12:47

did the other part of your OP say that he says your boyfriend will cheat on you because he isn't him?

So he fancies you?

Calling a woman a bad mother is of course the quickest way into her knickers. We love it.

edam · 10/01/2010 13:02

and his medical degree was obtained from where, exactly? The Internet University of Making Stuff Up?

megapixels · 10/01/2010 13:47

Ha ha ha, what an idiot. My dd1 had jaundice when newborn and was born one blisteringly hot July, in Sri Lanka!

Iklboo · 10/01/2010 13:51

Ask him if he was born a twat or if he took a correspondence course

Heracles · 10/01/2010 13:55

Maybe you ate too many Wotsits during pregnancy; that's what causes it isn't it? Or is that ginger hair?

Could you ask your friend for me? He certainly sounds like a doctor.....

StealthPolarBear · 10/01/2010 13:59

"I don't know how true it is, but I had always thought that DS's jaundice was brought on by the fact I had an EMCS"
I've had 2 babies, normal deliveries. ds had it,. dd didn't.

StealthPolarBear · 10/01/2010 13:59

maybe i am a better mother this time round

mrmellors · 10/01/2010 14:11

All three of mine had it, especially ds1 - premature, born by cs. Guess that was my fault, too .

chegirl, that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard - and from a midwife? My mum is very olive-skinned, and at school used to be called "that gypsy-looking girl" or "swarthy" by the teachers. Have these people really never encountered a mixed-race child before?

LeQueen · 10/01/2010 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TubbyDuffs · 10/01/2010 14:13

He is an ill-informed fuckwit. I live in Dubai and get plenty of sun and my DD was born with jaundice.... go figure muppet!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/01/2010 15:11

I don't know {stroking her chin meditavely emoticon], my dd was born at 37 weeks by elective CS on a sweltering day in Oman with jaundice. The sister on the ward told me that the reason 'she might die' was due to me being too lazy to deliver naturally. Just what someone whose had 11 m/c's and taken 14 years to conceive wants to hear.
OP, the comment maker either did his training in the middle east, or, is a total fuckwit twunt.

squashimodo · 10/01/2010 15:14

I let mine get jaundice, and autism too, so I win!

LeQueen · 10/01/2010 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImSoNotTelling · 10/01/2010 20:00

I thought jaundice was caused by the baby having a different blood group to the mum - one being positive and one being negative.

Nothing to do with going out while pregnant

going to look it up cos I'm dull

Your mate is a wanker anyway, HTH

ImSoNotTelling · 10/01/2010 20:04

Isn't it why you have an anti-D jab?