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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these old people are mean to not share their lovely snow?

71 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:27

We live very close to an almshouse building - they have a huge garden with a couple of hills.

I've tried taking DS (asd) out in the local park but he was overwhelmed by the crowds (all london parks are packed when it snows)

I was cheeky so knocked on one of the doors to ask if the DC could play for 1/2 hour and she said 'of course'

So we had fun then had three angry men asking why we were on their garden so left.

It is still almost untouched snow- why do they want to 'keep' it?

OP posts:
GhoulsAreLoud · 08/01/2010 14:29

Maybe they didn't want you to churn up the grass underneath it or something?

Uriel · 08/01/2010 14:30

Perhaps they can't stand the noise?
In pain and a bit grumpy?

Haggisfish · 08/01/2010 14:30

it does seem mean - did they not give you a chance to explain?! It does damage grass if you walk on it with frozen snow over it, though.

MorrisZapp · 08/01/2010 14:32

YABU

Could be any reason for it, isn't your business. It's their garden, they can ask you to leave if they like.

Think of all the lovely things you have that others don't, how would you feel if people just helped themselves?

I have to walk past gorgeous gardens every day that I'd love to sunbathe/ play/ read a book in. But I wouldn't dream of asking, never mind taking offence if asked to leave.

itsmeolord · 08/01/2010 14:32

How do you know there aren't flower beds or similar under there?

Why should you run around in someone elses garden? Perhaps they don't want squelaing children and adults running around disturbing their peace.

You wouldn't expect to be allowed to play in someones garden if it hadn't snowed, whats the difference?

YABU.

diddl · 08/01/2010 14:33

Why didn´t you tell them that you´d asked?

I don´t think they ABU tobe cross at you being in their garden tbh-if they didn´t know you´d asked.

Perhaps the woman who said yes shouldn´t have spoken for everyone?

Sassybeast · 08/01/2010 14:33

YABU. I'll be round yours in half an hour to run amok through your property

itsmeolord · 08/01/2010 14:33

squealing

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:35

There are flower beds but lots and lots of grass under it.

I'm more annoyed we were told it was okay.

Then to be beaten back.

It was just me DS (who doesn't squeal) and DD

both 5 and 3.

We were at least 400ft from the houses themselves

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:36

diddl well I asked if she thought anyone would mind.
But yes she can't speak for them ll. I was not going to go along the 25 or so houses and ask everyone - that would have been even more intrusive.

OP posts:
OtterInaSkoda · 08/01/2010 14:41

I guess they didn't realise you'd asked and assumed you were just trespassing. Is a bit though.

itsmeolord · 08/01/2010 14:42

Doesn't really matter how much grass there is, or whether or not one person told you it was ok.

The point is that its not your garden.

"even more intrusive" - so you agree that going into someones garden that you don't know to play is intrusive then?

She didn't say it was ok, she said she didn't think anyone would mind.

So your ds doesn't squeal, does he play silently then? You disturbed them, they came and told you to leave.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:43

I told them that lady at no. X had said it as fine.

Surely some of them have grandchildren that will visit and do the same?

OP posts:
itsmeolord · 08/01/2010 14:46

But those are their grandchildren, they have a legitimate reason to be there.
You don't.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:48

Maybe lady at no X has no grandchildren and enjoyed seeing children play.

Why would the rest of the residents deny her that?

OP posts:
juuule · 08/01/2010 14:49

YABU.

Unless you asked all of them then and got at least a majority decision then you can't really assume that it's okay with everyone on one person's say so.

MorrisZapp · 08/01/2010 14:49

But that's their grandchildren!!!!

Good christ lady. I have very dear friends and family that I extend all kinds of hospitality and kindnesses to - doesn't mean strangers can help themselves to the same!

DorotheaPlenticlew · 08/01/2010 14:49

I don't think what you did was so bad -- I'd have probably tried the same thing. Little children of that age ... it seems a shame not to let them play, esp once you explained that you did ask first (rather than just rampaging in). And even more esp as you were 400 feet away from the houses!

DorotheaPlenticlew · 08/01/2010 14:52

Everybody is saying the OP helped herself, but she did ask first ... not quite the same thing.

I think the three men were grumps. DP's very elderly grandparents used to live in a similar sort of place, and nobody there would've minded a bit -- having some little children around was regarded as a good thing.

Heqet · 08/01/2010 14:52

yup, I can see why you would have liked to have been allowed, but it's their garden, not yours and if even one person objected and all the others were happy, you would still have to accept that and move on. You've no right at all to be miffed, imo. One resident cannot speak for the rest.

itsmeolord · 08/01/2010 14:52

Now you are clutching at straws.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:53

MorrisZapp so if you had a lovely untouched field of snow you would reall deny two small people a chance for fun in the snow?

As I said my DS is asd and he can't handle noise and chaos

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 08/01/2010 14:57

Personally, no I wouldn't ask two small kids and their mother to leave my large garden if they were enjoying themselves.

But that's not the issue here. Those people didn't want you to be there, for whatever reason, and asked you to leave.

It's their garden.

Perhaps they were thinking if they let you lot play, they'd end up with a free for all for the local kids and teenagers, the ones currently at the park? Or that you'd take it as an open invite to come back each day? Or that the lovely happy playing kids could fall over and start howling blue murder at any moment etc etc etc .

You just don't know.

littledawley · 08/01/2010 14:58

We have got a lovely big, hilly field behind our house (which we own) and I had this with DH the other day. My children went up sledging with their cousins and said that there was another family there. (Kids all said how kind they were and how they shared sledges) DH was going to go and ask them to move on!!! I wouldn't let him - how mean would we have to be to deny some children great sledging on a huge field that we have no use for??
Devilwears - you are not being unreasonable but I do think that you should have told the men that you asked.

littledawley · 08/01/2010 14:59

Sorry, just re-read, you did tell them that you had asked. Miserable buggers.