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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think these old people are mean to not share their lovely snow?

71 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 14:27

We live very close to an almshouse building - they have a huge garden with a couple of hills.

I've tried taking DS (asd) out in the local park but he was overwhelmed by the crowds (all london parks are packed when it snows)

I was cheeky so knocked on one of the doors to ask if the DC could play for 1/2 hour and she said 'of course'

So we had fun then had three angry men asking why we were on their garden so left.

It is still almost untouched snow- why do they want to 'keep' it?

OP posts:

juuule · 08/01/2010 15:02

Some people like looking at a winter scene without the snow being all churned up. Maybe the men were this type of person.
Some people are happy with the churned up look and children playing. Maybe the woman was this type of person. Or just wasn't bothered.
Perhaps the men were more territorial types.
Maybe grandchildren were visiting later and they didn't want it spoiling before they came.
Who knows. Whatever the reason it seems they weren't happy with you being there. And as it's partly their garden then it's their choice of who to let in or not.

maristella · 08/01/2010 15:03

it was very grumpy of them.
but i have to admit that i would not be impressed if i discovered children playing in our garden - it's ours.

LetThereBeRock · 08/01/2010 15:03

YABU.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 08/01/2010 15:05

400feet?!?! I am surprised they saw you.

DollyMessiter · 08/01/2010 15:07

YABU.
It's their garden and you didn't ask their permission to be there.
They don't need a reason for wanting you to leave.

LetThereBeRock · 08/01/2010 15:33

I agree Dolly. They don't have to justify their decision. It's their garden.

IsItMorningTimeYet · 08/01/2010 19:06

I don't think yabu at all. I think it's lovely that you tried to find an alternative place for your kids to play instead of just giving in and going home. Sorry to hear those men were mean to.

littlemoominmamma · 08/01/2010 19:15

To be honest, in these days of stupid political correctness would they be liable if you or your son had sustained an injury???

We have some snow in our back garden you can have (popping some in a bag and sending it to your son - x)

qwertpoiuy · 08/01/2010 19:16

Mean old sods! Can't believe they would order off young kids enjoying themselves.

Original poster

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 19:19

not 400ft...obviously - 40ft.

We are all bored of snow now anyhows having fallen over four times walking to the shop..first me, then Dd, then DS then all of us.

Why oh why do they grit roads but not pavements? Lots of icy slush is thrown onto the pavements and freezes grrr

OP posts:

Original poster

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 19:20

It's an almshouse - so believe a private trust rather than council property.

but fuckin'ell as if I'd sue them if we were injured!

OP posts:

saltyseadog · 08/01/2010 19:21

YABU. I think if the men objected you have to respect their decision, whatever their reasoning. Not really any of your business.

Jux · 08/01/2010 19:29

I sympathise with you, I really do.

Having said that, yesterday morning we had quite a large expanse of untouched snow at the front of our house (it's on our 'land' and is walled, with an opening bitg enough for a car, to the pavement). DD was sleeping late and we were 'saving' the snow - our first snowfall - for when she was up and we could all go out and make snowmen together. 3 teenaged lads came running in and started a snowball fight. DH saw them off. They were not happy. No doubt they thought we were being miserable.

DH just wanted dd to see it and be the first on it.

bumbling · 08/01/2010 19:29

YA NOT NOT NOT being unreasonable. Grumpy, miserable old buggers. You did exactly the right thing and asked and they're just miserable. Were they never young themselves.

It's a bit, I stress a bit, like the no ball games signs in estates/almshouses. It's because old people live on ground floor, no stairs etc, all perfeclty reasonable. So families live up high, with their buggies... only spaces around are gardens given to the elderly on the ground floors and green spaces outside, almost without fail, carry signs saying no ball games. So where do energentic kids whose schools have sold off playing fields go locally to get rid of all that energy, particularly boys?

And people wonder why kids hang out causing trouble. They aren't welcome anywhere and hhave nowhere to go. Not even to play in the ssnow in a free green space.

LetThereBeRock · 08/01/2010 19:31

I fail to see why it's mean not to want strangers in one's garden, regardless of it's size.

diddl · 08/01/2010 19:36

Well, all those saying OK, I assume would let anyone into their garden if asked?

Original poster

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 19:36

It's a shared garden of around 15 houses.

Do you know what an almshouse is? They are bloody lucky.

So if one resident says it is fine why the hell not?

OP posts:

Original poster

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 08/01/2010 19:37

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almshouse

OP posts:

LetThereBeRock · 08/01/2010 19:40

Yes I do know what they are thankyou. No need for the link.

One says yes, but at least three object so the majority verdict is that they don't want you there.

diddl · 08/01/2010 19:43

But it´s not public property & some residents said no, so that´s it really.

Be thankful you were allowed on at all!

Do you have no friends/relatives you could have gone to rather than strangers?

LetThereBeRock · 08/01/2010 19:43

And regardless of circumstances it's still their home and therefore they are allowed to say that they'd rather not have strangers in their garden.

agedknees · 08/01/2010 19:44

Yep, very lucky to have probably been in a poorly paid occupation all their lives, which meant they could not afford a decent pension.

And more than 1 person lives in the Almhouses. So they have the right to ask you to leave.

YABU. And I found your last post a bit nasty tbh.

madamearcati · 08/01/2010 19:46

I would imagine they like looking out on the virgins snow and don't want it all churned up.
Have you stopped to consider that the resident you asked might have felt a bit 'put on the spot'

bumbling · 08/01/2010 19:52

Afraid I agree re almshouses. They are lucky to be there. Almshouses tend to be lovely and way nicer than council houses.

Seem to be a lot of moneyed people around who believe the haves should have everything and the have nots, well that's their own fault for not having lots of cash isn't it? That' not strictly fair, but I mean really. I understand wanting fresh snow for young 3 year old, but how pissed off will you be when the teens who just wanted to use some snow for a harmless snowball fight and let off energey come back and scratch you car, or break your gate.

it's not right to scratch your car or break your gate, but these things are more complicated than "it's my land get off", unless you believe in a feudal, landed gentry kind of world that is.

LetThereBeRock · 08/01/2010 19:56

If you're in an almshouse you're not exactly one of the 'haves' are you? No matter how nice a place it may be. And I'm not one either why presume this has anything to do with money?

If you're going to take that attitude you might as well argue that it's the OP's fault that she doesn't have a large garden suitable for the purpose,but that would be as ridiculous as what you're saying.

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