More of a wwyd about dishes at a wedding reception

[TeddyBare]

A close friend is getting married soon and I was speaking to another friend who is considering not going to the reception because of the meal options (!) which I found a bit The bride is veggie and her dh is vegan so all of their meal options are veggie or vegan. I'm veggie so I didn't see this as a problem (and all 3 options sound yummy) but the friend is seeing this as bride trying to force her views on her friends. We 3 used to live together at uni so I know there have been issues with this friend feeling pressured into not eating meat around her veggie friends (we didn't try to make her feel like this but she lived with 4 veggies / vegans so prehaps inevitable), but I also know that the bride would be very very upset if this friend didn't come for this reason. I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to mention it to the bride (how?!) to try to help avoid this becoming an issue. I'm fairly sure she wouldn't mind too much including a chicken dish if it would avoid any problems. Would I be better to just keep out of it and be there for the bride if she is dissapointed?

Tell Guestzilla to get over herself.

I think the friend is BU.

BUT I used to live in a house full of veggies and I was the only meat eater. I was treated like some kind of unclean person with evil blood sucking ways. I used to get comments such as: the hideous animal fat is blocking the drains (it wasn't); don't use my oven tray for your MEAT urgh! (FFS I do wash things first; urgh how can you eat that FLESH!. Honestly it was a NIGHTMARE. And that's before I even get onto how bloody hard it is to clean beanfeast off a pan (nuclear explosion required!).

So maybe your friend is still suffering the ill effects of living with a load of veggies....

And would it really kill the bride and groom to provide a meat option? When I got married I put a lot of thought into what food my GUESTS would like, and provided plenty of varied options.

What about a nice sheep's heart? They are easy to do singly and would be quite in keeping with the love theme.

Undercova.If you're a vegetarian for ethical reasons why would you or why should you be expected to spend your money on meat?

The majority of people who eat meat are quite capable of eating vegetable based dishes and there's no reason why they can't do so for one meal even if it wouldn't be their first choice of meal.

One little sheep's heart wouldn't kill them though. And if the sheep is dead it won't miss it.

Oh what nonsense! Of course it's not forcing views on other people. Would the friend refuse to go to the wedding if the bride was planning to wear a green trouser-suit, perhaps because she felt virginal white degrading to modern women? Her wedding, her choice, and it's not offensive to anybody.

It's quite offensive. Especially in green.

Pikelit: "Guestzilla" exactly!

First thing to remember about Weddings: some fucker will ALWAYS complain about something.

At my very small wedding we had our "reception" at an all you can eat buffet that served, Chinese, Indian, Mexican and Thai (and the odd English Dish)

I have two veggie sisters, and know some of mine and DH families are fussy buggers when it comes to food, but we thought theres something there for everyone and they can choose what they want for themselves cause I dont wanna hear no-one's whining bollocks on my Wedding day (was also 27 weeks pregnant at the time so best not to piss me off )

I sent out the invites with a menu for the restaurant so everybody had an idea of what they were getting as you do, so no-one can complain, right???

WRONG!! My Nanna rings me up and says "the only Chinese food I like is Prawn Fried Rice and they dont do it...they only have Egg Fried Rice and I dont like anything else"

My response: "Well, I dont know what to tell you Nanna" Needless to say she didnt friggin starve!!

Moral of the story...their wedding, their menu, their day, dont like it, TOUGH SHIT!!

But if the friend doesnt attend the wedding soley because of the menu then she needs to fuck right off IMO! (but then I am 32 weeks pregnant and hormonal have no tolerance for anything anymore)

Ruby - the difference is you tried to cater for everyone, whereas the OP's bride and groom friends are trying to cater for themselves.

And yes I know everyone can eat vegetarian food, not just vegetarians, but it does send out a particular message IMO, and if the other friend often has her friends views shoved down her throat I can see why she has taken it to heart. However there is no excuse not to go, she needs to suck it up.

BTW I went to a wedding recently where the groom was a welsh speaker. The invite was in welsh, the service was in welsh and the thank you note we received was in welsh. DH and I don't speak welsh, and neither did over half those attending. IMO they were making a point. I have been to plenty of welsh weddinsg which have been bilingual but some people just have to push their views onto other people 24/7.

Bloody Welsh. It's cos they got sick of everyone nicking the hearts out of their sheep for those awkward guests.

If the reverse happened (I'm vegan) then I would pack something I can eat and go along and enjoy the celebration.

I often end up in siuations where there is nothing available I can eat and I don't fall out over it.

The "friend" guest is being entirely unreasonable. Does she eat only meat?

Undercovermutha I can kind of see your point but we were never that bad! Your experience sounds awful. We were living together as students (god I feel old now!)- me, guestzilla, bride, groom and 1 more. We weren't pickey about trays/ fridge shelves etc. I think the real bug bear there was that we had a cooking rota where we took it in turns to cook for everyone which meant that if she wanted to be part of the rota she had to cook and eat veggie food. Obviously we never forced her to join but everyone would rather cook every 5 days than every day.
Like I said in the op, I don't think the bride would be too bothered to offer a meat dish (not so sure about groom or mil though) - it's just that I don't think it ever even occurred to her that someone might find it a problem and for most of them it isn't. The groom's whole family are vegan and quite a few of the bride's family and friends are veggie. For the record the options she has chosen sound lovely: Mediterranean Cassoulet with Mixed Pulses and Harissa, Roasted Winter Vegetables on a Bean Chilli and Potato and Goat?s Cheese Brulee. (I've now outed myself if anyone going is a mnetter but my dd is the only dc going). It's not exactly that they haven't provided something yummy and appropriate to the majority of the guests.
The Welsh wedding sounds interesting. Was the bride also a Welsh speaker? My wedding was bilingual in an attempt to please everyone, but my dsis said she found it too long - as Ruby said, people always find something to complain about.

Guest is being unreasonable.

Undercovamutha: we had a really similar experience at a wedding except the bride was a welsh speaker and groom didn't speak a word. There was some debate at the reception as to whether they were properly married...

did seem a little pointed, especially as only about 10/200 guests spoke any welsh at all.

A few years ago DH and I went to a wedding of two strict veggies - all options were veggie.

I was quite happy, but as DH pointed out, when you go to a meat-eaters wedding there is a veggie option, so why not vice versa? A lot of people at the wedding didn't like the meal (though admittedly there was no choice - you got what they had decided upon and that was it).

It's not the end of the world though, is it? Surely from a choice of three options she can find something? Or if she's that put off by the food, she can tell the bride and groom she can't make it for the meal but she'll pop into the reception later. It's their day - should be their choice.

Why not a meat option at the wedding of vegetarians?
Because I don't know of any people who eat meat who have ethical objections to the consumption of vegetables unlike vegetarians who have ethical objections to the consumption of meat and therefore shouldn't be expected to serve it at their wedding.

Baa baaa take my little heart